Thursday, December 31, 2009

My 9 in 2009

before the year ends, i want to highlight the 9 events that have shaped me as a person.
indeed, this year has not been a smooth-sailing one.
i have explored. i have experienced. i have learned.
and now, i want to believe that i will end the year as a much better person.

1. Entering Law School. I still have doubts whether to pursue Law or not. I do not actually aspire to become a lawyer. Getting Law is my way to avoid taking Masters. I thought this is the most practical of all options. I believe that in the event that I won't be able to finish the degree, it's never a waste of time to know my rights and that of the others too. I can still use whatever I have learned with my dream job which is community development.

As I finished the first semester, my heart has finally gave in to pursue the degree. I have realized that I still have much to learn and the best way to do it is to stay in school.

I have to learn patience and diligence though. If I continue to procrastinate and be lazy, I'll never succeed on this pursuit. May God Bless me!

I am very thankful for the gift of helpful and supportive classmates or should i say, friends!

2. IND Employment. A millions worth of learning is accounted to my work at the Institute for Negros Development. It's the kind of job I have hoped for. I thought it will take me a while to land a job like that, but I was able to get one this year.

To the Project YES youth, you taught me to appreciate what I have. I never really regard my work with you as "job", for what we had is a friendship that I long to last for a lifetime.

To Sir Dick and Jollibee Foundation, thanks a bunch for the BLT experience... may you feed more under nourished children.

I always thought that I am born to be adept in multitasking until I found myself with a demanding full-time work and a taxing full-time major. That leads me to...

3. Resignation from IND. This is by far the hardest of the decisions I have made. How can it be just easy for me to leave my "dream job"? Other than that fact, I have already made emotional investment to the people I have been working for/with. But then again, one can only do so much. I have to admit to myself that having a full-time job plus full-time studies, is just so much for me to bear.

4. HR encounter. I just attacked the inefficient system but SOME people who run the system are too attached with it, not knowing that they have gotten themselves to the issue. Were there any regrets on my part? None.

In a snap, let me just share my realization from this whole encounter.

1. You cannot reason out to others that because you are serving more than 900 people, you are inefficient. Even how taxing and tedious the nature of our jobs are, we ought to deliver it efficiently because that is the reason we are paid for.
2. If you are not part of the issue, SHUT UP and PRAY.
3. Guilty people will always find a way to vindicate themselves or protect their interest even up to the point that they already become irrational.
4. I do not mind losing people not worth keeping. Sometimes, it is easier to let go that to keep on holding back things or people in our lives.
5.Words: Professionalism, efficiency, discretion and HR, should be clearly defined and be given justice.
6.When we apologize, it is too much for us to expect that the offended party will just shut up with the issue. Most of the time, our flaw is, we NEVER learn because we kill the issue at a premature state without having checked the beauty behind it.

5. Boracay and Siquijor trips. I am blessed to have experienced the pieces of heaven here on Earth. As I travel to these places, I cannot help but to be in awe with God's spectacular and magnificent masterpieces. Thank you Lord for these gifts, thanks too for the eyes, my window, to witness your wonders!

6. Get-togethers.
with Siilanians - I am fortunate to be reunited with my fellow exchange students in Korea. After 2 years, we have gathered in such a number! Quite an achievement on our part, I thought. It is always heartwarming to retell fond memories we have shared! Walking down memory lane has never been that exciting! i love you guys!

with CUDettes - You just do not have any idea how happy I am to see us together around one table. Seeing you means putting up sensible conversations, reuniting with our dreams and committing ourselves to nation-building. You may not be conscious of it, but we actually do, everytime! I have always been proud of you CUDettes!

with High School barkadas - Though we never had a get together where everyone is around, I am still elated because the majority managed to make it. We have changed in so many ways but what remains constant in our hearts is, our desire to be with each other. We are friends and we will always be. We might have issues but we're able to be civil enough to deal with those. I pray that one day, we all wake up, heeding to our futures and leaving behind the bitterness of the past. I love you girls!

7.Philippine Culture class and group class with Koreans. This gave me much joy because it feels like I am just in Korea. It has never been easy though to make the class interesting. I has been a constant challenge. Special thanks to Ms. Ating who trusted us with this.

Bord Odz, it could have been much hard had you not been my partner. I always find joy to be working with you! Ms. Liza, thanks for the words of affirmation and Sir Larry, thanks for the tips and for the love. Ms. Sheila and Ms. Rolena, thanks for always being there, readily extending support to us.

8. Liberation Day - I thought moving on is a myth until I experienced it myself.
It took me exactly two years to finally move on from my last relationship. I remembered that I was crying so hard as I prayed on the day I have confirmed that it was finally over. I cannot thank God enough for allowing me to love and be loved in return. It might have been a short-lived relationship but it surely left me lifetime lessons.

9. My Life's Angels - The space will surely be exhausted if I enumerate everyone here. I acknowledge that I have countless life's angels. Some, I have met few years back, some since childhood, some, however came into existence this year. I do not want to end this year without highlighting some of them.

To the partner I shared the same interest to volunteer in Doulos, JET, my BFF, Thanks a bunch for everything! I know it is never enough.

To Ms. Terai Barcoma, thanks. You will always be my mentor.

To Ms. Lormi, thanks for always believing, thanks for the opportunities to be in service with/to others.

To Charmie, I appreciate every reminder you send me to eat my meals.

To Ng Mini, you actually inspired me to take up law!

To my Law buddies, I always believe that our batch is the BEST!

To Chiqui, thanks for the time you spent with me over your reunion with your batchmates; thanks for sharing similar concerns and experiences with me...you just affirmed that I am normal.haha

To Odyssey and Ms. Elaine, your love stories have inspired me in insurmountable ways! May your married lives be a success for a lifetime!

Tita Lorena, thanks for spoiling me. It has been a pleasure and a blessing to have crossed paths with you and Odyssey!

To all my friends, thanks for making this year meaningful for me.
I pray the 2010 will be a year of Bliss to us all!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
MAY WE BE BLESSED AND BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS!


shei

Friday, December 25, 2009

What i like about Christmas season!

1. People are kinder. They go out their way to be generous to others. They give gifts, organize outreach/reach out programs, put up parties for children and the aged too. It is just overwhelming to witness the good side in everyone having been unleashed. See? This is an affirmation that there is this goodness in each of us.

2.Christmas carols. A wonderful respite from the songs we used to hear over the radio.
but! Nobody, nobody is still on the airwaves!hay!^^

3. Unending reunions, get-togethers, homecomings and parties. It's always a pleasure and heartwarming to meet relatives and cherished friends, and have time for catching up. Walking down memory lane has never been meaningful than that shared with loved ones!

4.Overflowing foods and drinks. I want to believe that there is this "Christmas food" that are prepared only on holidays!hhmm...that is why I cannot resist them because I have this mental note that i can only eat them again after a year.haha

On Christmas i cannot also help but to look forward to the Holy week when, we, Christians, are encouraged to fast or abstain. In that way, i can get rid of the weight i have gained during the holidays!^^

5.Thoughtfulness of others. This is a season when people best express their warm greetings to others. It may be in the form of a text message, email, cards, fb wall posts, a personal hug and saying of I LOVE YOU or THANK YOU..etc. These are simple joys that create a huge impact in one's celebration of the season.

It dawned on me that on Christmas, people tend to be more transparent with what they feel. This might be for them, a perfect time to affirm others and show how others' presence in their lives is deeply appreciated.

6.Dawn mass. Actually, I have attended only 3 out of the supposed 9 dawn masses.^^ This tradition has made Filipino faith distinct from the rest. Bibingka, taho and unending yawning from all sides... these are but some features that go along with the observance of such. I am looking forward to complete the next year's Christmas morning novena and wish for a boyfriend.


At some point, because of the too many good things the season brings, i have hoped that it would be Christmas everyday, but then, i have realized something and here it is:

Needless to hope that it would be Christmas everyday when we can daily live out the spirit and true meaning of the celebration! May we never cease to share, to give, to love, to see the good in others and to show the good in us and most especially, may we never forget to pray and remember the true essence of Christmas - God's selfless love to us, that He gave His perfect gift, Jesusl!

Merry Christmas to all


with my high school barkada: yep, sheng, chang, jep and pom
with my law buddies: janz, kath, bing2x, noel, rona and tin
with my llts group: ms. lorms, james, dorsey, mikkel, hannah, bff jet and dear charmie

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Malou's Christmas Wish List ^^

i want to believe that to some, my existence matters. thus, they can't just let the year pass without concretely expressing it by giving me li'l something this yuletide season.haha

whether what i have written above is true or not, i still feel the need to come up with this list.
at least, this will guide me of what i should prioritize when i go mall shopping sometime soon.

i have to admit that most of my wishes are those that money cannot afford to buy. i still wish and pray for it though. now here's the list of the "material" things that money can surely buy.

1.Any of Paulo Coelho's books (fyi, i already have The Alchemist)

2.Any of Og Mandino's books

3.Any law book

4. Planner

5. Maybelline collagen lipstick (pinkish) or its eyeliner

6. Blush on, any brand will do.. not too dark.

7. Adaptor or battery for my laptop.

8. Pens: G-tech (.4) or Dong-a (.3)

9. Magic Pencils

10. Scented Highlighters

11. Cream or Serum for eyebags/dark circles

12. Skirts; loose shirts

13. xenical, fitrum or any slimming tea there is...haha (do i sound desperate?)

14. dumbbell

15. movie pass for any interesting movie

16. free coupon for a good massage

17. donations : books or slippers for the street kids near usls.
now, if you cannot give me any from numbers 1 to 16, please help me with this last number... you'd surely make me doubly happy!

love2x!

i wish you well everyone!

malou^^

Thursday, November 26, 2009

BLT scribbles, encoded

Hello everyone!
How have you all been?
Sana ok ang lahat. By the way, during the workshops we had, i was able to scribble some notes and expressions that popped up during your sharing!
I hope you will enjoy reading it! ^^
God Bless!

-malou

Quotable quotes

“Kayo ang tumaya, kami ang gagawa.”

“Walang pilitan, pero hindi makakhindi.”

The following are from the guidelines of the Open Space Technology but i wanted to highlight it because these are also applicable in the aspect of Love:
“Whoever comes is the right person”
“When it is over, it is over”

Wag ka munang tumingin sa malayo, tumingin ka muna sa malapit – pang love din diba but this is most likely true when we want to establish strategic partnerships with others in the community

“This is not about his political interest but this is about the children who will vote for his apo!” –Butch of Iligan

WORK WITH US, JOIN US – eto pwedeng tag line natin when we ask help from LGUs and NGOs

If I have more than what i need and i won’t give what is much, it won’t bring me on top rather it will drag me down.

What are the words that God did not say which I know? – hmmm.. meron ba?

“O Kristong walang bisig,
O Kristong walang kamay...
Gamitin mo ang aking bisig,
Gamitin mo ang aking kamay.”

“You are doing something concrete that is why you are very important”

“He who has a WHY to live for can survive any HOW.”

“Sa 58 years kong pagtuturo, wala pang yumamang teacher kahit yung mga nagbebenta nung pagkaing at bra.” – This is just so true, diba?

“Two of the girls were very pretty, the other two? NEVERMIND! – i like this!

“I’d rather forget”

“Love your calling with passion, it is the meaning of your life!”

“Kung walang saysay ang buhay, bakit ka pa mabubuhay?

“There is such a hunger to find the meaning in life”

“You measure love by how much you are willing to give”

“If you do not want to get hurt, do not fall in love. If you do not want to fall in love, do not live.”
“You are always window shopping but never stopping to buy.” Walang taya!

“It’s not a flirtation, it’s a commitment” – Sir Pagsi on marriage

“Jollibee serves the hamburger but you serve the smile!”

“The bread (food) comes from Jollibee, the smile comes from me.”

“The could have beens, the might have beens but never was!”

“Why are you doing what you are doing?”

“Puro salita, puro salita, puro dada, pero wala naming gawa.”

“Tumawag ang Panginoon, ang buhay ko ang aking tugon.”

“BLT virus” – Norman

“Defend your existence”

“Dare to be true” – Ka Merced

“BLT ang rumarampa sa aking report” – Chabeng

“God called you to life. He has a job for me to do which only I could do!”

Friday, November 6, 2009

Why Resign?

“How come you left your work when that is the kind of work you’ve hoped for?” I was struck by such a question posed to me by a friend. I paused for a while and instead of answering his question, I pretended not to have heard it and true enough, I was able to divert our attention to something.

As I went home, I still pondered on it. I want to believe that I made the right decision. And I want to just affirm what I emailed my friends; I felt relief upon finally coming up with a decision of not having to extend anymore and eventually quit my full time work.

As I examine the kind of responses I have for a number of questions concerning this matter, I have learned that I have kept so many fears with the decision I have made recently. I have acknowledged that my desire to help transcends beyond my job. More so, I firmly believe that if one has the desire to help, one can just deliver regardless of time, place and nature of job he is in.

True, it would take me sometime to land a job like what I had. The resources are there and we just need to come up with a scheme to carry it out efficiently to the people. The system is already in place and is just open to some modifications. Who wouldn’t want to engage to a job that has noble cause, touches many lives, allows much learning and returns a thousand or more bliss!?

But then again, I console myself with the mental note that I made a sound decision. No doubt I love my work but my love for it is never enough to convince me to drop law school. At some point I questioned myself which was wrong, is it the nature of my job or the nature of law school? But I ended up pointing my finger to none of the two but to myself. I guess it is a big issue that I lack the skill of time management. Both of which demand so much of me, again I want to believe that to some extent each exhausts everything of me. And there is no way but to accept, even how ego-bruising it might be, that I am no wonder woman, i am not good at multitasking and I can only do so much! Finally, I have gathered enough humility to accept that fact and come up with a decision to drop something from the two of what I value.

This is actually by far the most difficult decision-making I went through. There are episodes of slight regrets but I feel those are just but normal especially when you have not yet reaped the rewards of the choice that prevailed. It will take time for me to finally let go of what I had and it will take time too for me to eventually let go of the “what ifs” had I chosen to pursue my career.

There is a bunch of volunteer works I could engage into. Again, helping others is more fulfilling especially when you do it without an institution or company having to pay for your time and effort in doing such. To gain peace of mind, I thought that, there is no perfect or flawless decision. It is basically in us to put justice to what we have chosen. I do not pray that the decision I made will be right but I pray for the right attitude to make my choice the best one.

Sprained an Ankle and a Broken Heart

I went home with a sprained ankle and a broken heart. Today, I visited the 13 elementary schools that are a part of the daily feeding program of our partner foundation. After I visited the three schools in the municipality of Murcia, I heeded to the next city in the list. A principal who is going to the same route with us asked if she could hitch and seeing no problem with it, we allowed her to.

The principal is assigned to the most remote school of District I of Murcia. She shared with me the lot of the children studying in her school. The children live in far-flung areas and some of them need to walk for about five to seven kilometers just to reach the school. At first she is annoyed by the attitude of children in class. Some lift their feet on the desk, some are sleeping and some seem to be just present in flesh but mentally absent. There are also instances when she is taking a nap during lunch breaks and some of the children wake her up and ask her for rice. “That is so insensitive of them!” she thought. Similar scenarios recurred over the past weeks until she took initiative to find out the root cause of all those observations she had.

She and a group of her teachers visited the area where most of the problematic children reside and there they found out what could be the best answer to what they have been asking all along. Their hearts were crushed upon witnessing the pitiful situation the children and their whole families are in. Parents shared that they can hardly feed their family. They have many children and they do not have work or fixed income to meet their communal needs. Some children were honest enough to share with their teachers that most of the time when they do not have food to eat at home, their parents gather them around the table and they just stare at each other, pretending that they are having a buffet, trying hard to imagine they are fed with delicious food just to counteract hunger; at the very least, even if their stomachs weren’t filled, their minds were.

The principal cannot contain her overflowing tears as she relates the story. And I am not naĆÆve not to feel anything. Despite the sadness I felt over the story, I cannot help but ask: “whose fault is this then?” For some, it might be untimely to raise such question but I feel that it’s a mortal sin to delay the answer/s for it. We have to at least be aware of who are the people behind this so that we can come up with measure to genuinely help the real people concerned. It is futile to deal with rotten fruits or weakly branches when in reality the part that needs most of our attention and care is the dying roots.

We all go back to the parents who have full knowledge of their situation and have an idea on their capacity to rear a family. It could have been best if they have considered their lot before heeding the call to “go and multiply!” My heart bleeds for the young ones who could have been a lot better had they been given equal opportunity with other children born of well-off families. I believe they are way too young to experience hardcore difficulties and they are way too innocent to bear bitterness to this world because they felt it has been unfair to them.

I am aware of the poverty and distressing situations our fellow Filipinos go through but it’s truly different when you hear it from someone who directly experienced it and all the more if you have experienced witnessing such yourself. I used to give alms if I have extra but with my recent encounter, I have learned that we need more than money to put a stop on this. We need the change of our hearts, our values, and our very system.

I could only hope that I can do more. I have wished at some point that I would be a billionaire and address their needs but even then, I know deep in my heart, the problem would still persists. To reiterate, money could help but it isn’t the perfect solution. The perfect solution should not be a directive from helping agencies or suggestions from persons in authority rather the perfect solution must come from those people concerned because they know better themselves than anyone else. They know what works for them and those that do not.

As to my sprained ankle, it is basically due to carelessness and no one left to be blamed except myself. The beauty of the accident is that, it taught me not to go too far like going abroad to involve myself in NGOs that deal with problems like what the principal shared; I should stay because we have so many problems such as this more than we could imagine. And if I really want to live my life to its fullest, then I should find a way to be of help to others, not tolerating them of their wrongs but extending genuine help even if it means making them accountable to where and what they are right now.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Zip It!

zip it!

that is something i wanted to tell myself now but my heart won't just do it.
all the more the people concerned tell me to stop, all the more i am provoked!
i might have a good command with the language but never did i use this to put down others..
i was not raised that way.

for the past days, i have been exposed to the ills of the world and the ills of people.
and that made me realize so many things..and here is the list of it: (actually most of which can be understood by our common sense, needless to overdo the act of thinking)

1. people are just not used to an objective approach of dealing with issues and things. by all means, we are too attached with our emotions. we can hardly think of the issues at hand because we are overpowered with our emotions.

2. some people ask much.

3.an office or an entity will not dare come up with an instrument or something that will destroy them.

4.it is absurd that when people know that there is something wrong, instead of correcting it with concrete solutions, they tend to come up with a scapegoat for it.

5.friendship might be a price for being assertive.

6. in times of crisis, you will know who are objective and who your real friends are.

7. people cannot in an outright manner admit that they are wrong because they are protecting something.

8. inefficiencies and incompetence will really surface as time goes by.

9. it is absurd that people keep on following or want to be updated still with what other people post on FB even for a fact that the latter is someone they disliked or hated much! :)

10. some people do have this self-inflicted worries and anxieties and they pass the blame to others.

11. there is no point talking with someone who is at the peak of his emotions.

12. if you already have an idea of what is for you SUPPOSED TO BE RIGHT, then it's pointless to ask someone for a talk. i bet, you'll end up in a heated conversation.

13. TO ASK FOR AN APOLOGY DOES NOT GIVE US THE RIGHT TO BE ASSURED THAT THE ONE OFFENDED WILL JUST FORGET EVERYTHING! that is so much for us to ask...it is enough that you were given the chance to ask for an apology, do not expect the offended party to suppress what she feels.

14. Professionalism is not applicable in FB.

15. MY POSTING OF NOTES DOES NOT NEED ANY RESPONSE TO THE CONCERNED, WHAT I JUST WANT IS ---TO AIR OUT WHAT I FEEL AND THIS FACT IS BEYOND ANYONE'S CONTROL! i would gladly appreciate if you won't mind me.

16. immaturity is something terminal. aw!

17. there is a bunch of people who just let others bypassed their rights and sadly i am not one of them.

18. in life, we win some, we lose some. but i do not feel bad to those that i have lost that are not worth-keeping anyway.

19. not everyone is open-minded with the things of this world.

20. filipinos, are not yet ready for a realist approach on issues.

21. almost all people are into FB! :) yeah INCLUDING YOU!whehe

22. blood is truly thicker than water..:)

23. i am always misinterpreted. :) i may come out so strong but i only assert sensible and noteworthy issues.

24. theory of relativism, what is true to you may not be true to me.

25. people should get what they deserve.

26. if the tree does not bear good fruits, there must be something wrong with the roots...haha..in this, i would appreciate that you think beyond the usual..:)

27. it is crazy when everything that i post here is counted against me.

28. I DO NOT ATTACK THE PEOPLE, I ATTACK THE SYSTEM. BUT THE PROBLEM IS, THERE IS A THIN LINE THAT SEPARATES THE PEOPLE FROM THEIR SYSTEM...whew! should the people stick with their system, i might happen to attack including the former. :(

29. i am open to the fact that i am not loved by everyone because of what i have been doing lately, but what can i do? i am one poor lady who just tries to be the way she is!

30. as long as there are people who tell me i am right, i would stick to that belief.


disclaimer: it depends on you if you want to blow this up.
everything i have been posting lately has been counted against me...
i am naturally like this, now if you do not want to get hurt, stop reading my status messages and notes.

i am entitled to my realizations and so are you.


on the lighter side,
"there is a bunch of reasons to be happy!"
"God Bless everyone!"

Friday, September 11, 2009

HR Sucks!

i would not want to let this week pass without writing a note about my dismay with our HR
i feel i have all the right to feel this!
i cannot believe that yesterday i wasn't able to get my pay.
good thing, the one who explained the reason of my unfortunate lot was just so calm.
well, i remembered vividly though that she did not apologize for such inefficiency in her work.
she claimed that they got confused.
she asked whether i submitted 2 resignation letters?
huuuuwhaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
i clearly shared that i just made one resignation letter and that if she is keen enough in looking at it,
she would get a first-hand information based on that hard fact that the RESIGNATION IS EFFECTIVE on OCTOBER 31!

where the hell did she get the information that says my resignation is effective sept.1?
i do not care if friends shared it with her or i care less if i expressed it at one point while talking with them.
the point is, THE RESIGNATION LETTER SHOULD SERVE ITS PURPOSE!
decisions as to whether i'll be included still in the payroll should be based on it.
it is such a lame excuse to say that because they heard this or they heard that...that is why they have thought of this or that!

they say, assumption is a mother of all screw-ups and i cannot agree more with that.
i guess my week has just been screwed up because of an unjustified assumption.

what if i have children to feed? what if i have an emergency expense to incur?
will i still manage to be a goody-goody girl saying "ah, it's ok you didn't give me my salary because of the WRONG ASSUMPTION you have!"

i claim that those who DO NOT understand my situation might be to some extent plain naive!

Choosing Battles

a series of not so good experiences made me lift this blog from my friendster account.
this would probably affirm to the reader how stubborn am i.
i hope people who will read this post won't give any malice to this.
read on and it's up to you how would you take this.
August 29th, 2007 by maloueudela

i remembered kimee telling to me one time to choose my battles..
at first i did not really get the point why she said that.
and when i finally got the courage to ask what she meant by that: she simply answered me not to dwell on the battles that are not worth fighting for in the first place.
whew! that is one great lesson i have learned and have come to apply in life.
when i choose my battle, i see to it to first identify the cause why i am fighting for it.
in life, we are heeding many battles, some of which though hard to accept, are not actually worth taking our time .
as i grew mature, i realized that true battles in life are only few and one dominant battle is the very battle we have with ourselves.
i have to be honest, i am still winning over myself and it’s difficult to do that. it seems to be easy but in reality it is the hardest of all.
other than battling with myself, i have a couple of battles around.

once i get into a battle, there is no turning back. simply because, i only get into a battle where i have clear purpose and intentions.

asking me to tone down once i asserted what i believed is right is something i really appreciate. in a way it speaks of one’s concern for me. but sadly i cannot just give up battles that easily because i’ve conducted evaluations before i entered on such. giving up a battle, especially when i know i am on the right track is too much for me to do.

i am not a war/battle freak, i just assert what i believe is right and needs to be done. for me, battles are good in a way. it sharpens one’s art of reasoning. it tests patience, allows us to exercise the act of fact-finding, and there are lot more we can draw from putting up a battle.

surely it can hurt other people sometimes but if both parties are matured enough to just act within the bounds of the issue-it’s not really a problem afterall.

i choose my battles.

once i am into it, you cannot drag me back anymore.

call me too sure about myself, but i have to admit this–once i am in my chosen battle, i don’t have any thoughts of losing… for i have programmed in my mind that i am fighting for the right thing and i ought to finish it with the triumph at my side.

it’s said that~~~"the best way to win an argument is to avoid them"

but i believe

some arguments are not worth avoiding at all. you have to fight for it simply because that is the "best and a must" option in the list.

"everything has its time"..true indeed!!

that is why, some battles/arguments are worth fighting in its defined perfect time.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Ways to show our love for our country :)

came up with this list because i believe that these are simple concrete ways that we can show our love for our beloved Philippines.
i guess some people might find it hard to follow...:)
nonetheless, here is it.

1. SPELL OUR COUNTRY’S NAME CORRECTLY.
That is P-H-I-L-I-P-P-I-N-E-S!
Yeah one L and two P’s.
Now in the event that you’ll get confused, I suggest that you’d rather spell it in Tagalog.
PILIPINAS it is, kababayan

2. EXERCISE YOUR RIGHT TO SUFFRAGE. Well, actually it’s not by merely voting that you can show love for your country but by voting the right, uhm, I should say, the UPright people for the various government posts.

Now if you are really concerned with our fellow Filipinos’ lot, then we ought to take a concrete step… we have to vote the right ones. If there is none on the list, just leave it blank so that you won’t harbor any guilt later on.

3. BE A SOLUTION TO PROBLEMS. Say, you cannot be a solution to our political, social, financial, and economic and whatever problems there may be, AT LEAST, DO NOT BE A PROBLEM!
We have so many problems to attend to and to simply put it, WE CANNOT ATTEND TO YOU SHOULD YOU BECOME A PROBLEM YOURSELF!

4. QUIT SMOKING so that you can concretely take a step against AIR POLLUTION.

5. DO NOT TALK NON-SENSE so that you won’t add up to the chaos brought by the noise around.

6. DO NOT CHEAT IN CLASS so that you can CONVINCE OTHERS THAT YOU DENOUNCE CORRUPTION!
Cheating, even just in the classrooms, is dishonesty no less than corruption.

7. DO NOT PATRONIZE DRIVERS WHO PARK THEIR JEEPNEYS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET not minding the traffic they cause just to get passengers. THEY ARE LAME SELFISH PEOPLE WHO ONLY THINK OF THEMSELVES and not of OTHERS.

Come to think of it, a lot of people still earn without compromising the rules.

8. DO NOT RUN FOR GOVERNMENT OFFICE WHEN ONLY YOU AND THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO YOU SAY THAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF “SERVING” IN THE GOVERNMENT!

There are two points I wanted to convey to you on this:

First, we have a bias to ourselves. It’s possible that we and the people closest to us may highly exaggerate and sensationalize what we can do.

Second, service knows no bounds.

NEEDLESS TO SECURE A GOVERNMENT POST when you REAL DESIRE is to SERVE OTHERS.

9. BE REACTIVE IN A PROACTIVE WAY. When you clamor on something, be sure to offer solutions to it. React if you must, then act on it ASAP :)

10. BE RESOLVEDTHAT YOU, an individual, ARE ACTUALLY A MAJORITY! Whatever you do creates an IMPACT to the whole society. The kind of society you want to belong in should be reflected in your actions. Everything you want to realize starts with no else but YOU! :)

11. AVOID DISCUSSIONS THAT WILL PUT OUR COUNTRY INTO A BAD LIGHT. Do not broadcast unhealthy comments about our kababayans, there is always a better channel to do it.

12. IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO TRAVEL ABROAD, LEARN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN AND PUT THOSE LEARNING INTO ACTION BACK HOME. we identify those things and processes that are workable in the country, we share it with to as much people as we can reach.

13. CELEBRATE PINOY TRIUMPHS! Whenever there is an achievement of a fellow Filipino, broadcast it. On this, let's make the technology work for us, let's utilize their worth. We have to share with the world how great we are as a nation.

14. WHEN YOU INTRODUCE YOURSELF ABROAD, NEVER FAIL TO HIGHLIGHT THAT YOU ARE A FILIPINO. Always carry that Filipino Pride wherever you go. We are all ambassadors of the country once we go abroad, so MPP! (Make Philippines Proud!)

15. MEMORIZE THE FAST FACTS ABOUT THE COUNTRY BY HEART. If we truly love our country, we ought to know the important things that pertain to it. How many islands are there? hmmm... High tide or Low tide? ^^

16. UNCEASINGLY PRAY FOR OUR COUNTRY AND FOR ALL THE FILIPINOS AROUND THE WORLD. AMEN.

lou^^

2 Years

there is something with this "2 years"
i fell in love with a gay and it took me two years to finally move on.
i fell in love with a korean and i'm approaching to the 2nd year of healing my heart from that relationship which did not flourish...
i hope that when the full 2nd year will come,
i have fully moved on from it.
i guess, 2 years is enough and quite long for that month-long, short-lived relationship we had.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

My Commandments of Love

it's actually crazy to come up with this list. however, this is the product of boredom in my class..haha
i won't mention the name of my teacher...haha

here is it:

1. thou shall not fall in love with someone younger than i am, even if it's just a matter of days.
know why? you see, i look older than my age and i think beyond my age, falling in love with someone younger than I is something not really good. there could be a lot of adjustments and compromises to do and just the thought of it makes me sick.:)

2. thou shall not fall in love with someone who talks a lot, we will likely clash most of the time.
you know me, even in sleep, i still talk. i don't know who can bear with my blah-blah nature..good luck!

3. thou shall not fall in love with someone who finds children annoying because i have a soft spot for those li'l angels. besides, it's a fact that there's a child in all of us so there is a child in me too. if he is annoyed with kids, tendency is, he'll find me annoying from time to time...haha
and come to think of it, it's kinda' futile to fall in love with someone who cannot get along with children well.

4.thou shall not fall in love with a classmate in law school. once and for all i had to say this so that i'd get to put a dot to the rumors being spread by mr.v....hey, i am actually interested to read the articles you made about me..><

5.thou shall not fall in love with a korean again for my taste have changed and i now live with this maxim: "love conquers all except language barrier"

6.thou shall not fall in love with the ex - of a friend or of someone that i know. it's just so awkward, don't you think?

7. thou shall not fall in love with a politician's son or someone who is a politician himself, i'll sure have a hard time. who from the politicians' line wants to marry me anyway?haha

well, i have this gut feeling that i will break one of the rules, i wonder what..
i hope not.

anyway not all boring classes will lead to unproductive time ISN'T IT?
-classmates, you got the hint?-

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Simple Huge Blows

the little things create huge impacts to us.

i remembered, a friend sent me a text message saying that when our big dreams did not materialize, the emotional blow of it is actually nothing compared to the unmet small dreams we have nurtured.

why?

simply because they seem so personal, seem to be so close to us.
seem so simple, seem to be so attainable,
it seems so realistic but we were never able to bring it to reality.

i can attest that.
the simple things are usually the reasons for huge conflicts,
it is the simplest of things that gives me headache.
it is the simple things that compel me to go beyond what i can offer.
it is the simple things that hurt me a lot.

people often take for granted the simple things because for them, they are literally simple.
simple, like it is just easy to forget and so simple for one to really take time and effort to remember.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Current Realities

In life, we get to come across several realities. Well it is basically up to us whether we accept it as our reality or not. In my case, I am pretty much of mixed emotions as far as the new realities I am into are concerned. One thing I have to learn I guess is, realities remain to be realities and I cannot be in control of the whole pace it’ll will heed however I am here, in constant control of whatever I should feel with all these things and changes happening around me.

I might be in perpetual awe of the sudden changes that are happening around but I get to ponder that it wouldn’t really bother me much or let’s say, affect me unless I permit it to permeate my very own system.

It has been a clichĆ© that change is the only constant in this world. Well it sure is. And now I am beset with yet another two major changes that I have now accepted to be fitting to call “realities”. First, the apartment reality which was prompted by my go-back-to-school-reality. If I try to assess it, I won’t be able to justify my moving out to a new space hadn’t I made a decision to be back to school again.

It’s silly of me to make use of the “ample” time I have now in choosing to study something I am not sure I wanted in the first place. The main reason I got myself enrolled is, I have much time after work, so many unjustified leisure time I have been enjoying in the past year. Plus, I cannot afford to just level up in work experience and haven’t leveled up my credentials in education. I cannot believe this, now I am eating up all my words in the past. I said I do not want to be entrapped with this silliness of the world that after getting a bachelor’s degree, one “should” get masters if not m.b.a then grab the doctorate A.S.A.P. when before it is just an option for the diligent ones who do not have anything to do but to study, now it is unfortunately making its way to the “NEEDS LIST”. Ugh!

Going back to my recent move of getting law, let me lay my justifications. Well, you can actually end it here if you are not interested to know.^^

Time. I have much of it now and I want to spend it productively by enduring painstakingly the bulk of cases, articles, notes, etc. I will study on starting Monday.

The next one sounds absurd but painfully true. If I take masters and successfully graduate from it, people then will most likely ask where I have gotten my degree. Whereas, if I take up law and be fortunate to succeed in the bar exam, I become a lawyer right away and get to attach this pronounced ATTY., right before my name. Needless to explain where I have studied law, all they care and know is,
I am a lawyer. As to what school you’ve been taught, that doesn’t matter anymore; the important thing is I passed the bar. As early as now, I am actually in jitters with that bar exam they are saying. I get to ask myself now, what are my chances to pass the bar, my reflex answer for it is, slim.

Third, people have opened the idea of me getting masters degree in my field instead, psychology. Well, sadly I am still in love with my work and I cannot afford to leave to get it somewhere outside my box, especially with the bitter fact that I will be sending myself to school. I will continue to be in love with my work until I get a very good scholarship abroad.:)

The university offers only guidance and counseling as master’s degree in Psychology. Can you imagine me acting as guidance counselor later on? If you can’t, let me give you the picture I have imagined I would be. Yes, I would still be that very bubbly, blah..blah..blah..person who will assert what she thinks is the right thing to do in a given situation not minding to give a pause, the main goal is…convey the point even how many times it will take going around the bush. haha see? And you want to know what will most likely happen to my poor counselee? Chances are, he will commit suicide because all the counseling time has been consumed solely by myself…instead of him being listened to, it’s the opposite…haha!

I want to be of service to others and with the knowledge I have of my personality, it would be insensitive of me to push myself to guidance and counseling.

Well the last and the best reason why I heeded to take law is the fact that I want to engage in a work that is inclined to social/community developments. So I thought that I will be able to carry that objective of helping others efficiently and effectively by knowing the people’s rights. amen to that.

I could have all the time in the world to justify my recent moves but I guess I need not do that. I just realized that the reason why I am doing this is the fact that I need an outlet, an outlet that when I dare to read all over again, somewhat I would be relieved, making myself believe that after all, I picked and heed on to the right choices. And the realities I am into are but fitting for me to go through.

siquijor, i just love!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Stress Relieving Realizations

1. I've come to realize that my boobs...
- are just bigger for my liking...it concerns me the way i am concerned and conscious of my eye bags.

2. I've come to realize that my job...
- is the kind of work i want to be doing; despite better opportunities that have popped lately, i have managed to stay.

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...
-my father is just haunted with so many fears..haha..plus, i am uncertain whether i can manage to bring the car back at home without any damages; i'm still in jitters and i need more practice.

4. I've come to realize that I need...
- to adjust myself to new routines that i'd be adapting come monday...back-to-school-mode plus full-time work preoccupations.

5. I've come to realize that I've lost...
weight? (feeler) well, yeah..when i was in korea i was 60 kgs but now i am just...5...secret!haha

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
- i look at the mirror and get to see my pronounced eye bags flaunting..grhhhh...

7. I've come to realize that the person I like...
- is someone who can put up a very sensible conversation with me..

8. I've come to realize that money...
- is something that can shape people's attitude and character...the seemingly angel-like person can actually unleash his/her evil side because of greed for money. *sayang*

9. I've come to realize that people...
- tend to rationalize things to justify their unjustifiable acts.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always be...
- crazy, bubbly, talkative with sense..yeah, i like it, talkative with sense and not noisy..na-ah, not noisy.

12. I've come to realize that my mom...
- is someone i owe a lot. we might have clashes from time to time brought by our differences, still she's the only mother i've got.. i don't have the choice but to accept this wonderful fact..haha.. love you mama charit! :)

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone...
- has been with me for five years now. it survived countless storms and tornadoes.. *drama*

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...
- i still have a lot of last-minute-packing-up to do since i'll be moving out from the house today... so many things to do but it seems so less time there is to realize everything. :'(

15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep...
- i felt the need to kiss my very cute nephew kram, and be resolved to the fact that they'll be sleeping on my bed so i needed to get an extra foam and lay it on the floor. poor me... *sniffs*

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about...
- the risks and consequences of entering law school this monday.

17. I've come to realize that my dad...
- is after all not perfect..though undoubtedly, he has been a great father that he can be to me.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...
- i can't just resist checking on updates and other stuff i felt i ought to know.

19. I've come to realize that today...
- is the start of my "law school reality"; the orientation gave me a mixed feeling actually. i attended the orientation feeling lost and i went home still feeling lost.. *malou looks around*

20. I've come to realize that tonight...
- i will be sleeping in my new space...my "apartment reality" officially starts tonight.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow will be...
- father's day and i felt the need to be home to greet papa personally.

22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
- take a massage in a spa coz i felt i am so stressed..oh, i need makeover too..whew!
i might not have much time later on to dwell on these kinds of stuff.

24. I've come to realize that life...
- has its perfect ways of teasing us. just when you thought you are already resolved to the fact of where you are and what you do; greater opportunities will come and confuse you, yet you still opt to stay where you are.

25. I've come to realize that this weekend...
-marks so much change in my life for the next years.. moving out to a new house, orientation in law school, finishing the new teaching material of EGC..

26. I've come to realize that my ex(es)...
- made me feel i was really loved by him when we were still together; i just don't know when, how and why he cheated on me...haha
*malou thinks it's pointless to confirm the alleged cheating that her ex committed*

27. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset...
- is JAI HO!lol

28. I've come to realize that my friends...
- are those who got the nerves to stay with me despite my being "psycho" at times.

29. I've come to realize that the past year (2008)...
- has been a humbling experience for me... i learned that though i might have plans for myself, God has way better and way greater plans for me... and there is no way that His will won't overpower mine.

30. I've come to realize that the last person i kissed...
- has once been special to me. *malou wonders if others are interested to know* chikadora!lol

31. I've come to realize that when people walk out of my life...
- there is no way i can force them to come back unless they do it voluntarily... others' opinion is beyond my control and there is no way i can manipulate them on what to do.

Friday, June 5, 2009

I Am Guilty for Being Innocent

RULE 1
You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2
You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
(So people reading this, if you want an explanation.. PLEASE comment, hahaha.)
Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your notes , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag 20 of your friends to answer this. Then see what happens.
--

Asked someone to marry you?
innocent

Kissed one of your Facebook friends?
innocent

Danced on a table in a bar?
innocent

Ever told a lie?
guilty

Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back?
guilty

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?
guilty

Kissed a picture?
guilty

Slept in until 5 PM?
guilty

Fallen asleep at work/school?
guilty

Held a snake?
guilty

Been suspended from school?
innocent

Worked at a fast food restaurant?
innocent

Stolen from a store?
innocent

Been fired from a job?
innocent

Done something you regret?
guilty

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
guilty

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
guilty

Kissed in the rain?
innocent

Sat on a roof top?
guilty

Kissed someone you shouldn't?
innocent

Sang in the shower?
guilty

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
innocent

Shaved your head?
innocent

Slept naked?
innocent

Had a boxing membership?
innocent

Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
guilty?

Been in a band?
innocent

Shot a gun?
innocent

Donated Blood?
guilty

Eaten alligator meat?
innocent

Eaten cheesecake?
guilty

Still love someone you shouldn't?
innocent

Have/had a tattoo?
innocent

Liked someone, but will never tell who?
innocent

Been too honest?
guilty

Ruined a surprise?
guilty

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you cant walk afterwards?
guilty

Erased someone in your friends list?
guilty

Dressed in a woman's clothes (if your a guy) or man's clothes (if your a girl)?
guilty

Joined a pageant?
innocent

Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?
guilty

Had communication w/ your ex?
innocent

DATING Someone?
innocent

Get totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning?
innocent


A total stranger treat you by paying your jeepney fare?
guilty

Get totally angry that you cried so hard?
guilty
whew!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

100 truths i never had hard time admitting

100 Truths! After you've filled this out, tag people and have them do the same.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, copy and paste this note, erase my answers and enter your own, tag people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. Last beverage: do the dew, mountain dew

2. Last phone call: michael, Project YES

3. Last text message: the person isn't in my phonebook. one thing's certain he/she is from Proj YES

4. Last song you listened to: love story of swift... whew! good thing it isn't jai ho..haha

5. Last time you cried: can't remember.

HAVE U EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: yeah

7. Been cheated on: maybe

8. Kissed someone & regretted it: nope

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Been depressed: yes

11. Been drunk: nope

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS
12. green

13. green

14. green

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU…
15. Made new friends: luckily yes..haha

16. Fallen out of love: yes! (relieved*)

17. Laughed until you cried: always

18. Met someone who changed you: maybe but i am not conscious of, i suppose

19. Found out who your true friends were: yeah

20. Found out someone was talking about you: well yeah.

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: na-ah

TRUTH
23. How many kids do you want to have: 2-5

24. Do you have any pets: none

25. Do you want to change your name: sometimes.

26. What did you do for your last birthday: pondered.^^

27. What time did you wake up today: 8:00am

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping.

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: to be part of UN

30. Last time you saw your father: this morning.

31. What are the things you wish you could change about your life: a couple of it. decisions made and circumstance i am not in control of.

32. What are you listening to right now: none.. but if you ask me what i am hearing now, it's the noise around.

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah, one of my students last year. oh, i miss him.

34. What's getting on your nerves right now: the everyday encounter i have with stubborn drivers not observing the traffic rules.grrrrrrrrrr...

35. Music or sports: music in action..haha

36. What’s your real name: MA. LOURDES EUDELA

38. Zodiac sign: aquarius

39. Male or female: female with the strength of male..hehe, in short half akech..hehe

40. Elementary School: J.L. Araneta

41. High School: Holy Family

42. University/College: La Salle

43. Hair color: Black

44. Long or short: Short

45. Height: 5' 2"

46. Do you have a crush on someone: now? yeah.

47. What do you like about yourself: personality

48. Piercings: yeah

49. Tattoos: None and i am not planning to have one.

50. Righty or lefty: right! right!

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: n/a

53. First piercing: ears.

54. First best friend: ediebelle

55. First sport you joined: volleyball.

56. First vacation: baguio

58. First pet: a fish

59. First concert: don moen in lasal with my family

60. First alcohol drink: wine

RIGHT NOW
61. Eating: buko pie of bob's cafe, thanks odyssey for your generosity.

62. Drinking: nothing

63. I'm about to: move to the next number and answer it

64. Listening to: people's conversation

65. Waiting for: off from work.

YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids?: definitely!

67. Married?: *crossing my fingers

68. Career?: community dev't.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
69. Lips or eyes: eyes

70. Hugs or kisses: pwede both?

71. Shorter or taller: taller.

72. Older or Younger: older.

73. Romantic or spontaneous: romantically spontaneous...haha (note:jep, gin suli ko lang)

74. Nice stomach or nice arms: nice arms to embrace me..lol

75. Tattoos or piercings: piercing.

76. Sensitive or loud: sensitively loud.^^

77. Hook-up or relationship: relationship.

78. Trouble maker or hesitant: none of the two.

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: not YET (may plan...haha)

77. Drank hard liquor: nope

78. Lost glasses/contacts: yes, glasses

79. Sex on first date: a big NO!

80. Broken someone's heart: maybe?

81. Had your own heart broken: yep.

82. Been arrested: for what?

83. Turned someone down: yo!

84. Cried when someone died: YES.

85. Fallen for a friend?: nope.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: if i won't, then who?

87. Miracles: the fact that i am able to answer this is such a miracle!

88. Love at first sight: possible but i have not experienced such.

89. Heaven: i claim that there is.

90. Santa Claus: yeah in the persons of my parents.

91. Kiss on the first date: almost.

92. Angels: yeah though not all are in white and with halo.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Is there one person you want to be with right now: yes.

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: not my game.

95. Do you believe it’s possible to remain faithful forever: why not?

96. Ever cheated on somebody?: nope.

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: as far as it's allowed.

98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: i can't recall the specific date but that one when i visited sentosa in singapore. twa's fun, fun, fun and i guess it could have been more fun, fun, fun if i get to relive it. :)

99. Heaven or Hell: HEAVEN!

100. What's the one thing you cannot live without: OXYGEN!^^

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Please Remind Me

It’s been two days now that I am experiencing a headache, a painful one. I have to admit that i am paranoid with this whole thing. I am not afraid to die, I am afraid to get sick and worry on how to pay the medical expenses.

I am afraid to lose my memory. What if I will have amnesia, dementia or Alzheimer’s? If any of those will come to me, though I fervently pray I will not be unfortunate to have it, I am already writing this to prepare for it - so please DO REMIND me...

Remind me that I believe in God, that I always have faith in what He can do. In tough times that I may give up, remind me that I have never doubted that my Lord can deliver my prayers into concrete actions. Remind me to avoid hating or bearing grudge towards others for it does not bring glory to the Father. Remind me to always do good and heed what my conscience says.

Remind me that I give premium to my family, I care and love them more than the words i say and the actions I show. Their problems are my own. Remind me that when I make choices, I always think of them. Remind me that I dream of bringing out the whole family for a tour and i am saving for that. Remind me that my nephew, Kram, has brought so much bliss in the family.Remind me that my family is my true treasure, given by God.

Remind me that I know love and believe on the magic it brings. Remind me that I just did not know and believe on love, but I have loveD. Remind me that I am capable of loving and I am able to embrace and appreciate the love being poured to me. Should you see me heartbroken, remind me to continue on loving and never give up on love. Remind me that when I love, I draw the best from that person and also nurture the best in me.

Remind me that I am blessed to have a number of true friends. Remind me that the friendships I have are truly exceptional, truly worth keeping not just in this lifetime, even eternity. Remind me that my friends have been always there with me in my few ups and countless downs. Should you see me alone and lonely, remind me that I have a friend in you that I can undoubtedly count on to anytime.



Remind me that I love to write. In times when I needed to vent out what I feel within, remind me to jot it down rather than to verbalize it for I may hurt some. Remind me that blogging has kept me sane all these years, that it has been an effective way to express what faith, hopes and aspirations, even anger and disappointments. Remind me to write my dreams because I have proven that it is different to have something to look back to when those once written have already been realized.

Remind me that I talk a lot, but please be kind to emphasize that I am different from other blah-blah’s who create noise, because I talk sense. Remind me to tone down a bit for some people get annoyed of me at times. Remind me to prepare myself with other people’s criticisms for oftentimes I am judged on HOW is say things rather than WHAT I say. Remind me that I do not compromise my principles and my values, and that I always find ways to assert not only for myself but for the injustice or power-trip done to others as well.

Remind me that I am no hypocrite, that when I dislike or hate someone, I really do. Remind me that despite that acknowledgment of my emotions, I do not consciously exert effort to do bad things to them rather I consciously keep distance so as to avoid any conflicts with them.

Remind me that I love community work and what it entails of me. Remind me that meeting, working and living with the people in the community have taught me priceless lessons about life. Remind me that I have fallen in love with simple living and grandeur of nature, the greens and the blues, the animals too. And if I am on the verge of giving up on life’s difficulties, you can remind me of how I have witnessed the day to day battles of the people in the grassroots and how they are still able to smile and on how inspiring to note that they have survived triumphantly everyday.

Remind me that favors surround me eversince. Remind me that countless opportunities have crossed my way, like best menus on the platter served for free. Remind me that the opportunities have been a venue to meet families overseas and to build a special lifetime connections with the people and friends I have encountered.

Remind me that I have attempted to write these thoughts to serve as a reminder on how blessed I have been to live the kind of life I have, to remind me of how I see myself, and probably to encourage or inspire you to take initiative in thinking of other reminders as how you have seen me, in case all these fail to bring my memory.

I am tagging you because you have been a great part of me and please do not forget to remind me of that before you relate all these reminders I have written. :)


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I Have Survived

recently, i have encountered what people regard as life and death situation. it’s traumatic but reviewing the whole event i realize how overwhelming it was!

it’s like that i’m on the verge of dying but no, not yet my time i guess that is why i have survived. now, i am deeply grateful for this second life i have.

i feel so blessed to experience it.

truly, God hears our prayers.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Who am I

m
Most of the time, when i am introduced to new acquaintances,
i am asked of my major and of course i'd tell that i am a psychology graduate.
it's like 7 out of 10 cases, they'd ask: "can you read my mind?" or "would you know what's on my mind?"
i want to burst into laughter but no, not a good way to be transparent with my feelings,
in a sad way; feeling inadequate, feeling sorry, i explain:
"i am just a PSYCHOLOGIST, I AM NOT A PSYCHIC." :(
lol

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Waiting Pays Sometimes

i cannot contain the elation i feel with the blessing i have received recently..
it's like i have been longing to land a job that is inclined to what i want and will be a good step to my UN dream.. and i guess i just did!
six months, six long months i have waited..
six months since i applied to the said job opening and yes, after the six months of waiting, i am hired..
maybe they were left with no choice?!!haha

i am now working with the Institute for Negros Development (IND), this is based in USLS, it seems that my navel is tied with la salle to which i don't know if i have to rejoice on this..haha what is interesting about it is, i will be working with the out of school youth! and i cannot just wait for the project to go on its full swing!

i did not think i can land this job though i have fervently hoped..
i just let it find me and true enough, i have been chased.
sometimes indeed, we just have to wait..
for if luck is on your side, waiting can prove to be rewarding..
it's a matter of risk, trade off and the like for it is a fact in life that sometimes, waiting can prove to be in vain too..
but hoooooooraaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!
having waited for this proved to be soooooo amazingly rewarding!

if there is something i have realized in here, that would be :
in life, we don't have to push too much on something that is not yet ready to embrace us..
waiting is the key..
for there will come a time that we will finally get what our hearts desire and what we truly deserve..

it's possible to have everything in life,
one step at a time though.
some happen in a snap of a finger while others require a lifetime to be realized..
no matter what your dream is, keep on going, keep on pushing!
before you know it, you're already there!

this is just a start for me and i am just so eager for this whole process of the realization of my dreams to unfold!

GOd bless us all!

:) malou

Monday, March 2, 2009

Life in Death

it's ironic that we sometimes have to experience the grief of losing someone to appreciate the life we have been bestowed of.
every person's death is but a reminder to us that life is so unpredictable; no one knows when death will come to chase us..
though we mourn, we also hope...
we keep our fingers crossed to brighter days ahead..
we hope that after all these that we have been through, we all still be reunited..
i am uncertain of it but i keep on hoping for it.

sir ivan, you will be dearly missed!
wherever you are now, i am praying that you are truly happy!

as what they say, it's not how many years you have added to life
but it's more of the life you have added to your years!

truly, you have added life not only to that of yours but to others as well..
that explains why people tend to question your sudden passing at the prime of your life!
we deeply feel the pain of losing someone who's so great, great enough to bring out the greatness in others! kudos sir ivan!

God Bless!
love you manong! :)

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Jeepney Ride

i was riding a jeepney on my way home last night. i want to burst into laughter when i overheard a proud mom reviewing her son, "what are the TYPES of planet son?

with ring and ring less?, i whispered to myself..(haha)

and the boy, enumerated all the names of the planet :)

Friday, February 20, 2009

Memory Lane: Our fondest or Your most Terrible Time with me

Leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! Don't send a message, leave a comment here. Next, repost this in your notes and see how many people leave a memory about you. It is pretty cool to see the responses. if I neglected to tag you and you see this please feel free to join in. Repost as memories. Thanks!




Replies:
Odz Goyette (''v'')
.''v''.
i will always remember when you came into the apartment and brOke dOwn like a child who got sick and tired of other kids' bantering...that time i really felt close to you...and with a pang damn i felt that i was MANANG guid yah...hahahahha!!!i bet that moment you felt like u were at your weakest...but that unfolded the tremendous strength within you...look at you na!!!!hahahha xoxoxo...

Minnie Montano One that would definitely stand out was that Bob's coffee day where i needed someone to talk too... and you were laughing and crying with me at the same time... thanks for the hug! i needed that! and the listening ear too...

Another would be that coffee day again with Kimee... it was a reminder that we aren't alone in our struggles and that we have each other for support.

others? all our chismis... the way you'd say that you wish i was your teacher, and wish i will never be, that you'd be my classmate, and take it back again! thanks for the laughter and wonderful memories!

Ana Salera i'll never forget about our countless "before we sleep" talk moments. we share everything in our lives, our opinions and what we want to do with life~ hay kakamiss...

when i cry she's always the first person to comfort me even though at time she doesnt have a clue kung bakit ako biglang umiyak haha at minsan nakikiiyak din siya. she always calls me cute pag may ginagawa akong ka childlike thing. i love the way she listens to my random rants and opinions about anything under the sun and how we make up pag nag aaway kami (ice cream tara! ha diba winter haha ♥) the dusil road trips pag sinasama nya ako sa part time nya, the way she loves the kids so much while i pedo over the good looking one haha (sino nga ba yun basta cute siya) hugs. the hugs are so love. and malou eudela i wont forget you for everything~ Korea was great because you are my room mate and i love you!


Lourdes Mae ArceƱo Malan I remember that you were always ready to lend a hand...you care esp. at times when I was troubled...you were a good friend...I was sorry that we didn't really get to know each other well enough coz we didn't get a lot of time...but if ever I get the chance to bring back the past you would be one of the persons I want to get to know again and I will make sure that I'll be a better friend to you as you were to me...

Dorsey Retuya Caratao LLTS? that was a great time i guess..
oh yeah! i remember, when i had the chance to eat balot in your place malou, that was really nice, heheheh
Let's do it again, after i lower down my cholesterol level. LOL



Thursday, February 12, 2009

Students' Commandments on Valentine's Day

others can't just wait for the hearts' day to come..
i can feel it, love is in the air (well, it has been eversince)

but yeah right, love and relationship are given more emphasis on feb.14..
anyway, this note is address to those students who plan to date this weekend..

to all of you, here's what i want to say..
the commandments that you have to bear in your mind..

"thou shall not date using your parents' money!"

"thou shall not go to dark places which will prove to be a good venue for you to do what shouldn't be done"(i bet you are not dumb not to know what i am conveying)

"thou shall not impregnate or be impregnated at this time"

i guess, bottom line is,"thou shall not celebrate this valentine's day if you know you'll disappoint your parents or others with the result of which at the end."

keep loving, keep putting limits too!

P.S. students this is for you..
graduates? you are old enough to decide what's good and what's not for you!
ciao!

Monday, February 2, 2009

25 things about Malou

Rules: Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.


25 Things:

1. my full name is ma. lourdes rosquillo eudela and i am named in honor of our parish patron, "our lady of lourdes".

2. i was baptized 10 days after birth, just in time for the feast day of our lady of lourdes.

3. when i was young i did not like to be called malou. i started using the nick when i attended the "rotary's boys and girls' week" where the name tag given to me was kinda' small in size that i have decided to write malou instead of lourdes. from then on, people started to call me by that name.

4. USA is one of the least countries i wanted to travel/visit or work to. maybe i do not have this "isoloveunclesam complex".(no offense meant here)

5. i used to feel and think that i'll die before i reach 18 years old. and that is why i am ever grateful to every added year there is beyond that age.

6. i am allergic to coffee. when i drink one, i palpitate and i feel dizzy. its aroma dozes me off.
however like people who do have phobias, exposure or to experience it, is the key to overcome those fears. with that, i also try to sip coffee when i get the chance.

7.i talk much, even much more than you can imagine. but i talk SENSE! at least i would want to believe that i talk with sense..well i do! don't you think?

8.in the university, i spent much time on extra-curricular activities than in curricular ones. i even teased others that i major in "extra-curricular activities". i maintained high grades though.

9. i only got line of "7" grade when i was an exchange student in korea. i got C+ in korean language. that was a ego-bruising-experience.

10.i have toyed the idea to become a nun and when i was a senior in high school, i even went to a monastery to discern about the vocation.

11. i have been bearing self-inflicted pressures for so long.

12. i am planning to visit vietnam and thailand soon. i am looking forward to meet fellow exchange students who live there.

13. my favorite number is 12.

14. sedruole_12 is my yahoo i.d. let me just share how it's derived, sedruol is what you get when you spell my name (lourdes) backwards, the "e" stands for the initial of my surname. then the 12 as i shared previously is my fave number.

15. i love to write. blogging keeps me sane. though i must admit that i sure need to learn a lot on how to write well :)

16. i really wanted to be a doctor so i did apply in a state university in iloilo and just when i am almost done with the requirements, my mom told me i am not going to pursue it. that time, my family is going through a hard time and thinking long term, mama was not confident that she can send me to medicine proper later on.

17. i believe that before i reach 25, i will have my own car. i will buy it from my OWN savings. with this being said, whew! i felt pressured..haha.. at present, it's just enough that i know how to drive.

18. i wanted to write a book at least before i die. i can feel it, i can!

19. it's my ardent dream to wok in United Nations, and i will someday. i will meet mr. kim chang-oh there. we have a pact on that. i am so excited to realize it.

20. i am a crybaby.. my tears are just shallow.

21. i fell in love with a gay and had crushes with some more gays.^^

22. i had an identity crisis when i was in high school. i am confused of my sexuality.. i wasn't sure if i really like men. later on, i have realized that it is all but a part of teenage years, especially that i went to an all-girls-school..chaka!

23. this is funny, when my ex asked me for a kiss i answered him to have it next time and i told him that the reason is.."i do not know how to kiss" haha (gosh~ i was told by a friend when i shared this with her that, i am stupid! and that it just happens before one knows it, no need to practice..haha)

24. last year was a humbling experience for me. there have been a lot of things i want to realize but did not happen. i was emotionally crushed by the fact that i did not get what i want. i feel like giving up but i am glad i did not.. i have pondered on the lot i have, actually i do not have the right to complain because i am just so damn lucky.

25. i am still praying for a good scholarship grant that will enable me to pursue post-grad studies.:)
i am keeping my fingers crossed on this one!


done at last..i hope you had great time reading.. well, just good time i guess, not really "great!"..hah

Sunday, February 1, 2009

it’s official.. i am 23

when somebody asked how’s my birthday early on,

i cannot forget how did i answer it..

“actually it’s just any ordinary day except that i officially turned 23″

i especially love the thought that i am getting older in age. at least my age is keeping up with how i look (coz i have always thought that i look older than my age..haha)


i guess when one is getting older, one gets practical

well, you do get rid of those superficial part and just focus on the core essence of celebrating the birthday..

as for me, a birthday is a perfect venue to be grateful for the gift of life i have been bestowed,

it is also a perfect time for me to extend heartfelt thanks to mama who risked her life to bring me up to this world,

and a birthday is also a celebration of friendship i have with others;

on this occasion, friends never fail to reaffirm the fact that i am in some way special to them (though i may have sometimes doubt it..haha)

the mundane greeting from friends that goes like “happy birthday” and with a smiley “:)”, this and more have painted a smile on my face.

to be plain honest, i am moved by the fact that they have spent a part of their time to compose those messages or even drop a call to extend their greetings.

i did not expect much with this 23rd birthday of mine but people around made a blast for me!

i am touched by their means of conveying how i am important to them.

yes, i am much affirmed and with that, it felt like i am much energized and optimized to face the world the defies my limits because there is this bunch of people who cares and believes in what i do.

i did not have a birthday celebration per se but i should say, this is one of the best birthdays i have experienced so far! nothing beats the affirmation of loved ones and dear friends on one’s birthday!

and i thank everyone who made it special for me.

may you too realize how wonderful people you all are!

let me end this by sharing what i told my friend today, “a lot of people whom i have lost touch lately surprised me with their greetings and i am just so overwhelmed! and so, if this is the case, i really do not mind celebrating my birthday everyday! “^^

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Hail Brat Lass!

i am now trying to understand you.

i have tried stretching my patience just to accommodate your irresponsibility and immaturity.

i figured it out that you were born to provoke others to anger by your intentional-provocative-childish-seemingly innocent- reaction.

and i just simply hate it.

growing up with you is such a struggle.

you are so ego-centric.

you have been too focused on your own spotlight.

you never seem to listen to others.

you have unceasingly justified yourself.

over and over again, you have put color to the situations so that it'll coincide with your feeling of being "the misunderstood"

i am sick of you.

when will you ever grow up?

when will you ever understand?

when will you ever learn to respect your elders?

when will you ever stop thinking that the world is against you?

when will you ever realize that you too have faults or have even actually blown up things brought about by your provocations?

and when will you ever cease to stand with the rotten thought "i am different from you or anyone else, i'll do things my own way!"? (even if it means hurting others or doing or sticking to what is known to be bad)

your actions have truly manifested the wickedness and angst in you!

why are you like that?

yeah right, blame it on us?

you freaki'n lass, you don't have a single right to pass on to anyone the pain that you, yourself have inflicted to your very being!

shame on you to pass on the blame!

you have been like that coz of your own doing!

wonder not if one day...people will shun their doors to you..

you do not deserve them, you do not deserve us!

remember this, you cannot just always put up a fake smile to cover such.


my prayer for you?

may you be matured in everything and realize that the world is not solely about you or about your way.

my prayer for myself concerning this encounter with you?

may i have more patience to stand this with you and that i won't even think again of bringing this "painfully physical" with you!

hail to you drama queen!