Posts
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
A GK Legacy
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Stereotypes
Do not define me and how should I be.
Please refrain from telling me what I ought to do, and what I should say.
No offense, but the box you have for me? I'll never fit.
You can only put up with me if you learn to accept the fact that I will never be someone made by others for me to wear.
I only have myself to flaunt in this lifetime. I might as well 'wear myself' consciously all the time.
Your definition of success and stability are far way different from mine.
I am very sorry to disappoint you over and over again.
You define stability along with tenure and in my case it’s being mobile, going around places, no fixed plan, no fixed time.
I come when needed, and leave when I am not.
Your compass is what other people’s standards are, like ‘what someone your age should be doing and should have accomplished' at this time.
I care less if I am not getting any younger, as we all are moving towards getting older.
I only have my heart as my compass on what I will heed.
I will remain loyal to what it says for it has never failed me so far.
No one is too young to know what her passion is.
It happened that I knew mine at a relatively younger age than many.
You may actually have known your craft long before, but have consciously put a blind eye to it, you brushed it off.
But I would rather bear the criticisms of others than to deal with the most difficult critic to handle – myself.
So, even how difficult things might get in the pursuit of my passion, I will never let go of it.
I wll unceasingly chase all means to better heed my passion, it’s the air I breathe.
You might have compared yourself to me, ending up pitiful of my lot for you have so many things that I don’t.
You have bought all the world’s fanciest. You are enjoying, I suppose. And know that I am sincerely happy for you.
But I do not want you to worry about me as I am truly happy with the life I lead.
I have met countless people in my travels; each close encounter with them brought me to be a better me.
I have seen a much bigger world than what I have thought to myself long before.
Some places I have been are enchanting, some are challenging and some can be heart-breaking.
I must admit that my account in the bank is as good as nothing, no savings at all.
I only live through God’s providence.
To date, my cup has never run out for there had always been people who extend hand along the way.
You must be enjoying the security of a fixed salary, of a long list of benefits and even that of bonuses.
You can be sure that I, too, am enjoying the unexpected help from friends and even from strangers.
I take joy in what they seemingly regard as 'little', it means much to me as most of which - I did not expect to receive.
Fall into a good rest while on your comfortable bed in your concrete house, newly built.
Again, be assured that though I am living like a nomad, I can always find myself hosted by generous and kind people. In places I have been to, there’s always a house that warmly opens for me.
While going through a heavy traffic jam, you might have seen me walking, let me be.
These feet have brought me to places no vehicles can enter, remote areas difficult to imagine or explain.
Let me honor these feet and allow myself to be brought to more places.
If I get tired, I have always the luxury to choose from pedicab, habal-habal, jeepney, bus and if I get really lucky, I’d take a taxi or yet another free ride from you or someone kind.
It seems that we are enjoying the best of both worlds.
And now that I have shared with you that I am totally fine, it is but fitting that you, too, will enjoy to the fullest, to its fullness, the life you have been bestowed of, that one you have defined to live.
I reckon that success and the state of being rich are defined by us, by the kind of priorities we set.
No one can tell us whether we are successful or rich using their own standards for we ought to have our own.
I may be a failure to you or others who have high hopes of me, but should I take that tag, be fully at peace because –
I AM A HAPPY FAILURE.
However, deep within, I know I succeed.
I succeeded far way better than what I have expected myself to deliver.
And most of which, the most influential factor, is not that I am clever and excellent but it is because my backer, up there, has been very consistent in providing me the grace that I need to pull things through.
In my poverty, I see the richness of hearts of people.
In my desire to reach out, I was greatly helped to reach within.
The risks I took made me more confident about myself and in what I can do.
The disappointments, hurts and pains have made me more human and more humane in the long run.
The love, compassion and respect I give are reflected very well by those I meet or work with.
I feel so blessed, and I believe you are, too.
We have found our niche’ and I can only hope that we take every opportunity to be of help to others.
We share our talents, skills and capacities to those who might take benefit from it.
We are where we are now for some best reasons, and though we may have many differences brought by the nature of our engagements and the life we choose to live up, I know we are one in our pursuit of happiness.
If I cry now, forgive me, it is out of pure elation.
Again, we continue defining our own.
Do not define me based on what you have achieved, and I also do not have any right to define you based on who I am today.
People need not heed one calling. Isn’t it silly if we are all the same? Such monotony, surely we cannot bear.
We are different because we are custom-made for something.
We are tailor-made for our missions.
We complement, complete each other.
I have to thank you for the concern, but I am now living a great life with so many twists and believe me when I say, I am enjoying the ride. ^__________^
Tough times? Laugh it off :)a
Please refrain from telling me what I ought to do, and what I should say.
No offense, but the box you have for me? I'll never fit.
You can only put up with me if you learn to accept the fact that I will never be someone made by others for me to wear.
I only have myself to flaunt in this lifetime. I might as well 'wear myself' consciously all the time.
Your definition of success and stability are far way different from mine.
I am very sorry to disappoint you over and over again.
You define stability along with tenure and in my case it’s being mobile, going around places, no fixed plan, no fixed time.
I come when needed, and leave when I am not.
Your compass is what other people’s standards are, like ‘what someone your age should be doing and should have accomplished' at this time.
I care less if I am not getting any younger, as we all are moving towards getting older.
I only have my heart as my compass on what I will heed.
I will remain loyal to what it says for it has never failed me so far.
No one is too young to know what her passion is.
It happened that I knew mine at a relatively younger age than many.
You may actually have known your craft long before, but have consciously put a blind eye to it, you brushed it off.
But I would rather bear the criticisms of others than to deal with the most difficult critic to handle – myself.
So, even how difficult things might get in the pursuit of my passion, I will never let go of it.
I wll unceasingly chase all means to better heed my passion, it’s the air I breathe.
You might have compared yourself to me, ending up pitiful of my lot for you have so many things that I don’t.
You have bought all the world’s fanciest. You are enjoying, I suppose. And know that I am sincerely happy for you.
But I do not want you to worry about me as I am truly happy with the life I lead.
I have met countless people in my travels; each close encounter with them brought me to be a better me.
I have seen a much bigger world than what I have thought to myself long before.
Some places I have been are enchanting, some are challenging and some can be heart-breaking.
I must admit that my account in the bank is as good as nothing, no savings at all.
I only live through God’s providence.
To date, my cup has never run out for there had always been people who extend hand along the way.
You must be enjoying the security of a fixed salary, of a long list of benefits and even that of bonuses.
You can be sure that I, too, am enjoying the unexpected help from friends and even from strangers.
I take joy in what they seemingly regard as 'little', it means much to me as most of which - I did not expect to receive.
Fall into a good rest while on your comfortable bed in your concrete house, newly built.
Again, be assured that though I am living like a nomad, I can always find myself hosted by generous and kind people. In places I have been to, there’s always a house that warmly opens for me.
While going through a heavy traffic jam, you might have seen me walking, let me be.
These feet have brought me to places no vehicles can enter, remote areas difficult to imagine or explain.
Let me honor these feet and allow myself to be brought to more places.
If I get tired, I have always the luxury to choose from pedicab, habal-habal, jeepney, bus and if I get really lucky, I’d take a taxi or yet another free ride from you or someone kind.
It seems that we are enjoying the best of both worlds.
And now that I have shared with you that I am totally fine, it is but fitting that you, too, will enjoy to the fullest, to its fullness, the life you have been bestowed of, that one you have defined to live.
I reckon that success and the state of being rich are defined by us, by the kind of priorities we set.
No one can tell us whether we are successful or rich using their own standards for we ought to have our own.
I may be a failure to you or others who have high hopes of me, but should I take that tag, be fully at peace because –
I AM A HAPPY FAILURE.
However, deep within, I know I succeed.
I succeeded far way better than what I have expected myself to deliver.
And most of which, the most influential factor, is not that I am clever and excellent but it is because my backer, up there, has been very consistent in providing me the grace that I need to pull things through.
In my poverty, I see the richness of hearts of people.
In my desire to reach out, I was greatly helped to reach within.
The risks I took made me more confident about myself and in what I can do.
The disappointments, hurts and pains have made me more human and more humane in the long run.
The love, compassion and respect I give are reflected very well by those I meet or work with.
I feel so blessed, and I believe you are, too.
We have found our niche’ and I can only hope that we take every opportunity to be of help to others.
We share our talents, skills and capacities to those who might take benefit from it.
We are where we are now for some best reasons, and though we may have many differences brought by the nature of our engagements and the life we choose to live up, I know we are one in our pursuit of happiness.
If I cry now, forgive me, it is out of pure elation.
Again, we continue defining our own.
Do not define me based on what you have achieved, and I also do not have any right to define you based on who I am today.
People need not heed one calling. Isn’t it silly if we are all the same? Such monotony, surely we cannot bear.
We are different because we are custom-made for something.
We are tailor-made for our missions.
We complement, complete each other.
I have to thank you for the concern, but I am now living a great life with so many twists and believe me when I say, I am enjoying the ride. ^__________^
Tough times? Laugh it off :)a
Monday, July 16, 2012
2nd Year Anniversary Pangkat Sulo
It's been two years now since our paths crossed. I have to thank God, the Master Planner, who made such coming together possible.
Our SSEAYP Journey has so many beautiful stories to tell. Despite our differences and idiosyncrasies at times, we have managed to pull it through. We have put up so well, I must say.
We have fought each other's battles. We have embraced each other's sanity and insanity.
For the tears shed, for the hurts and pains felt and inflicted, for the bliss shared, Cheers! They all brought us closer most of the time, and far apart in rare times. But those were instrumental in honing us to mold ourselves to the kind of persons we wanted to live up, and set the kind of impression on how we want to be remembered.
Two years, and it feels just like yesterday. It must be that special bond that we share that never ceases to linger. It must be because of it that even months without talking or meeting, a phonecall or sms can already mean a lot. Without any contention, we share a chemistry that will not just work with anyone else, but only to us. We have this spark every time there's a chance for meeting.
I sound like a hopeless romantic, but know that 'I LOVE YOU'. In fact such 'I love you' may be an understatement on what I feel for you, for us. Life will never be the same without you all. You are a significant part of me, and I know, we all are to each other.
I am proud of each one, as I have always been even before meeting all. You intensified my hope for a better Philippines. With your caliber, this country will go a long way :)
God bless our engagements and the little seeds of inspiration and concrete actions we sow. May we never tire in translating our SSEAYP learning towards a progressive Philippines and a closer JASEAN.
Keep the Torches burning, mga Kabagis!
Letting Go
It's been a year now since I wrote this Letting Go note :)
This has helped me so much.
And now, I cannot help but to laugh. What we can do because of love is something unexplainable. I did not realize 'how much' I was emotionally dragged by my first-and-last relationship so far, until I saw this one. To date, this is the most personal note I allowed the public to see. I hope others who can relate can learn something out of this. ^_^
I do not dread falling in love for I claim that - to acknowledge and express love, and embrace the love given, are in the list of the greatest experiences a human can encounter. However, I dread what a short-lived love with much beautiful possibilities of growth can do- like in my case.
Approaching to four years now and I cannot still move on, or I have chosen not to move on. I am pathetic, yes I am. I do not know what kind of spell I am under. I do not know exactly why I act this way, all I know is – it started because I have risked in love, I have embraced love, I have loved.
If his claim is true that I broke up with him three times, I must be paying every act of rejection with a year. If so, by now, I have fully moved on and have opened up myself to possibilities of getting in a relationship with others. The truth is, no matter how I try, or maybe I have not tried enough, there has never a day that passed that I have no thoughts of him. Yes, never. Call me pathetic, I accept it.
This is the prize I have to pay for making a rash decision during the time he failed to call me. He missed to call and I made big fuss about it. How immature I am you say; yes very true again, I will not contend.
I broke up with him during the time I am in love with him. I called it quits not because I doubted his love for me, rather my whims of a relationship had not been fed. What’s worse to think now is, I love him more despite the fact that the both of us were already apart.
For a long time I felt that we did not have a closure, but looking back, we had. Days before I left for the Philippines, we met at a café house and parted in the most civil and friendly way possible. I recalled, too, that I was hurt when we bid goodbye to each other because it made me realize that we are not of each others’ anymore.
Now I reckon that everything I feel is under the spell of two words put together.. the spell of “what if”… what if during the time I broke up with him, he has a very good facility of the language to explain to me his side or to be able to put words together to shut my idiosyncrasies. How I wish it was like that.
There are times when I hoped that we parted ways in bad terms so that it’s so easy for me to curse him or to forget about him. It could have been way effortless for me to move on from that month-long relationship without any hang ups on my part. Yes, I wish it could have been that way.
No one will ever understand why I fell hard for him until I relate our love story, not until I share what made me fall for him and what were the simple things that he had done that made so much impact to me. After all, I have only myself as witness to all those sweet nothings that brought me a whole bliss.
And if it’s true that I have hurt him much, I want to ask for forgiveness through my sincere act of apology. I want to get out from this chain of spell. And if there is a chance to meet him, I will. I would rather not send him a message or call him now, I just want to meet him and talk things out personally. Hug him tight as I ask for sorry.
I will only be pacified and relieved if I get to meet him at once, air out my thoughts, and the emotions that cripple my whole system. :”(
If what I am going through now is the product of what I have done to him, I feel this is already too much of a burden for me to bear. Again, I have only loved. I might have made some irrational decisions along the way, but I feel I do not deserve like this much.
Lord, forgive me for everything I have done to the love and goodness of what my ex had shown me. But please Lord, allow me to forgive myself. Guide me as I choose the path to a better me, I will heed the call to move on. Make me realize that someone will love me, not exactly the way my ex showed it, but strong enough to make me believe again in the magic of what love does.
Lord, make our paths cross again and may you give me the chance to ask forgiveness to him. Wherever he is right now, may he be fully happy. And in our next meeting Lord, make us realize that what we did in the past, to be apart from each other, to call it quits, was just the best thing to do.
This has helped me so much.
And now, I cannot help but to laugh. What we can do because of love is something unexplainable. I did not realize 'how much' I was emotionally dragged by my first-and-last relationship so far, until I saw this one. To date, this is the most personal note I allowed the public to see. I hope others who can relate can learn something out of this. ^_^
I do not dread falling in love for I claim that - to acknowledge and express love, and embrace the love given, are in the list of the greatest experiences a human can encounter. However, I dread what a short-lived love with much beautiful possibilities of growth can do- like in my case.
Approaching to four years now and I cannot still move on, or I have chosen not to move on. I am pathetic, yes I am. I do not know what kind of spell I am under. I do not know exactly why I act this way, all I know is – it started because I have risked in love, I have embraced love, I have loved.
If his claim is true that I broke up with him three times, I must be paying every act of rejection with a year. If so, by now, I have fully moved on and have opened up myself to possibilities of getting in a relationship with others. The truth is, no matter how I try, or maybe I have not tried enough, there has never a day that passed that I have no thoughts of him. Yes, never. Call me pathetic, I accept it.
This is the prize I have to pay for making a rash decision during the time he failed to call me. He missed to call and I made big fuss about it. How immature I am you say; yes very true again, I will not contend.
I broke up with him during the time I am in love with him. I called it quits not because I doubted his love for me, rather my whims of a relationship had not been fed. What’s worse to think now is, I love him more despite the fact that the both of us were already apart.
For a long time I felt that we did not have a closure, but looking back, we had. Days before I left for the Philippines, we met at a café house and parted in the most civil and friendly way possible. I recalled, too, that I was hurt when we bid goodbye to each other because it made me realize that we are not of each others’ anymore.
Now I reckon that everything I feel is under the spell of two words put together.. the spell of “what if”… what if during the time I broke up with him, he has a very good facility of the language to explain to me his side or to be able to put words together to shut my idiosyncrasies. How I wish it was like that.
There are times when I hoped that we parted ways in bad terms so that it’s so easy for me to curse him or to forget about him. It could have been way effortless for me to move on from that month-long relationship without any hang ups on my part. Yes, I wish it could have been that way.
No one will ever understand why I fell hard for him until I relate our love story, not until I share what made me fall for him and what were the simple things that he had done that made so much impact to me. After all, I have only myself as witness to all those sweet nothings that brought me a whole bliss.
And if it’s true that I have hurt him much, I want to ask for forgiveness through my sincere act of apology. I want to get out from this chain of spell. And if there is a chance to meet him, I will. I would rather not send him a message or call him now, I just want to meet him and talk things out personally. Hug him tight as I ask for sorry.
I will only be pacified and relieved if I get to meet him at once, air out my thoughts, and the emotions that cripple my whole system. :”(
If what I am going through now is the product of what I have done to him, I feel this is already too much of a burden for me to bear. Again, I have only loved. I might have made some irrational decisions along the way, but I feel I do not deserve like this much.
Lord, forgive me for everything I have done to the love and goodness of what my ex had shown me. But please Lord, allow me to forgive myself. Guide me as I choose the path to a better me, I will heed the call to move on. Make me realize that someone will love me, not exactly the way my ex showed it, but strong enough to make me believe again in the magic of what love does.
Lord, make our paths cross again and may you give me the chance to ask forgiveness to him. Wherever he is right now, may he be fully happy. And in our next meeting Lord, make us realize that what we did in the past, to be apart from each other, to call it quits, was just the best thing to do.
