Grace

I am resolved to the fact that -
I have a GREAT GOD who loves me more than any words put together can encompass and describe.
He sees more of me than any human eyes can possibly capture.
He gives premium to what's best for me and not anything else less than that.
It is because of His love, grace and mercy that I am able to live.
He sustains me through and through.
My cup will overflorw for a lifetime because my God is the source of abundance to everything.
My actions are my praises to Him.
May works and engagements bring glory to His name, forever :)

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My Fashion Critic

H^______^PPIEST BIRTHDAY to my 'fashion critic', my favorite 'banter partner', my enemy for no valid grounds at times, my source of inspiration and annoyance [on very RARE occasion] rolled into one, my 'SOUL SISTER' - Bea! Know that my world would stop to help you fight your battles should you need me around with you. My lifetime pact with you is - I will always be there to rally for you :) I yearn only what's best for you. May God hear your prayers. Cheers to your life! You deserve nothing BUT the BEST of what this life can offer! I.LOVE.YOU! :*

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Sisterhood

This is one of the sweetest moments I have witnessed so far. After a long day in school, an elementary girl just came home in the camp. She saw her friend. Without any delay, she called out loud her friend's name while running towards her direction. When the friend was already within her reach, she hugged her tight and coupled it with a little lift - a boost of some sort ^___^

#friendship #sisterhood

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Emotional Emergency Response

If crying will wash all these frustrations and disappointments within,
I’d gladly devote the whole day to release what I feel through gushing tears.
How can we be insensitive at times to blurt statements which we claim to be words of relief?
It’s true. When someone’s crying, do not yet say a thing.
Keep Q.U.I.E.T.
Silence says everything you wanted to convey. It’s a full message in itself.
It’s not actually about how good your words are, or how meaningful they are;
It’s not even how much they will impact me.
To tell you the truth, they do not make sense at this time.
It’s your presence that matters to me.
Just be there at my side; and again, you need not utter a word.
A tap or hug will do. However, know that being there with and for me means so much already.


Your blaming aggravates everything.
What’s the sense in pointing fingers?
The recall, and the what if’s, I deem irrational now. Never mention them.
I take full responsibility on the recent loss,
But please, allow me to feel blue over the said loss of that something which has been very close to me for a time.
More than anyone else, I deserve this.
If you really care enough, SHUT UP.

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Here's To My Lost Watch

I do not know where this frustration is rooting from?

Is it because I lost the watch that has a very strong sentimental value to me?

Or is it because of my knowledge on how it got lost when there was this chance to save it?

Come to think of it, that watch and I have been together for more than five years.

It was the sole thing I bought with my first salary, as per advised by my grandmother, "buy something of value that you can keep in this lifetime".

Honestly, it’s more than a watch to me.

It has been my source of comfort.

Others may take this as an exaggeration, but I feel queer without it wrapped on my wrist.

I remember, there were days I even return home just to get it after realizing that I forgot to wear it.

Since I bought it, there was never a day that passed that I did not use it.

The thought of not having it wrapped on my wrist today, and more likely in the rest of the days in this lifetime, is something that really pierces my heart.

I can sure have another one, but it is not the point.

Upon probing, I learned that when others saw it yesterday, they asked me whether I own it or not,
Honestly, I do not know for what reason that I cannot remember such calling of attention;
And if it’s true that they did, how can such fact fall into deaf ears?
How can I brush off a matter of importance to me?
Another one saw it and upon the assumption that it’s mine, he knocked on my door, but alas, I was not in the room.

So, he just placed it on top of the other stuff that were left, too.
I am now baffled whether he is really concerned of me getting it, or if he sincerely puts any value to that watch?
For if he is, I do not think it is sane for him to leave it just right there and then, at that.



Early today, I looked for it. I have meticulously checked all my bags for the nth time.
Yes, I thought that I just misplaced it inside the room because I cannot recall the one they shared about yesterday.
But, the whole mood changed when the man who saw it narrated the story.
Now, we have to attack the incident logically.
I raised a lot of questions to him: ‘what time did he see it?’, ‘where did he leave it?’, ‘what else were there with the watch?’, ‘who were the people at the venue when he left it?’, etc.

But honestly, all I wanted to ask him was – ‘why did you not forward it to the front desk, or to the lost and found?’


Worse is, they have consistently brought up the fact that I left it somewhere, and that I was not particular on my things, on what I deem important.
Again, I take full responsibility on this, but I do not have a good reception to a quick blaming, especially if it is delivered indifferently.

I did not even have the time to ‘grieve’ for such loss;
I was already subjected to a rash finger pointing.

If my defensive side will think aloud, it will express these points:
‘The matter here is not about me carelessly putting it there;
If no one will touch it, it will remain to be where it is.
As it is on the table near the water dispenser, I will surely make my way in finding it there.
Alright, someone saw it, at least he could have been concerned enough to find a way to return it to the owner, or make known that he found such.
I believe it is not only I who left something important, somewhere –out of will, of course!
But, yes, I am one of those unlucky ones who did not get back what was left or misplaced.
If the argument is because I left it there that's why it got lost, that’s very defensive of the finder to handle an act of negligence over something that he has found.’

I can burst like a bomb, but I chose not. However, I can’t help but to answer him, ‘to resolve all this pointing of fingers - all towards me; I should have not gotten that watch more than five years ago from my first salary, so that I did not have anything to leave carelessly somewhere.’

I can really be irrational when I am pissed.



My reflection: At times, it’s not our carelessness on leaving our things somewhere that can cause us much frustrations and emotional pierce, but it’s about other people’s dishonesty, their negligence in handling those when found, and the fact that some people do not give the slightest of importance to the things we value the most :”(

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Books and Bliss

Give me a good book to read and I won't stop smiling for a while :)
I always appreciate books as presents. And I have to thank Alvin Ysulat for bringing this all the way from Davao to Iligan :) This is the best DATE I can have in the coming days! I am in LOVE:* Daghang salamat again!

#bliss

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Life's Lessons

Some of my reflections over the past months :)

1. Do not just love life, LIVE IT.

2. When one thinks that he can only do so much, he is quite saying that he cannot do more, thus going any further is a slim possibility.

3. A sudden loss of a loved one is very difficult to bear. It will surely be easy for others to claim that they have an idea of one's grief for the loss, when in fact no one will ever understand what exactly the kind of pain being went through by the person.

4. There is more to happiness why a person engages and unceasingly finds means to heed her passion.

5. Heeding the call of your passion isn't always easy.

6. Each one is capable of doing something worthwhile for others. Whatever good we share, how little it may seem, it can have a huge impact to the ones who were directly benefited by the gesture of kindness.

7. Helping is never a matter of competition. For the ones who think it is, they may see the act as more than a sincere extending or sharing of oneself.

8. There will come a point that we are too much comfortable of the routines that we do and that the mere thought of it makes us feel uncomfortable.

9. There must be a reason enough to leave one's comfort zone; if there isn't, I am not sure if anyone will dare to do so.

10. To consciously escape the thought of death, denying such, is like living life partly blind.

11. At times, we calim that what we do is our passion, but how come it does not feel right?

12. Our points do not make us winners rather it's how we deliver them, or how we handle the criticisms directed to us because of our stand.

13. It's not our big brains that can pull us through life's adversities, it's more dependent on our big hearts.

14. Unless everyone in the group will be open-minded, we can never have a dialogue in the real sense of the word.

15. Power has been allowed by others to drastically change who they are, but kudos to those who have shaped power according to the values they live out.

16. It is unfair for God to be put inside people's little box; and I firmly believe that for people to act like 'little' gods is a worse, if not the WORST, kind of insult.

17. We are shaped by others, only if we consciously allow them to.

18. Traveling is a way of exploring the world, and within.

19. We travel for various reasons, and we are adveturous and risk-takers to relatively varying extents.

20. Relationship is not a sort of pass or ticket for one to have power or ownership over the other, it's more of a commitment that fosters the 'bringing out the best' in each one involved.

21. We should not allow losing control over the sole person we should be in control of - OURSELVES.

22. If we push ourselves too hard, tendency is, ourselves will get back at us, too hard as well.

23. Savor the moments you are alone because to some others, being alone can mean a luxury they cannot afford.

24. If we only allow ourselves to be keen about the interconnectedness of our encounters, past and present, we'd be in awe to realize that after all, coincidence is just a word - nothing more, nothing less.

25. Rationalizations will always come in handy if we wanted to avoid our responsibilities, what we ought to do. Just when we thought we have outwitted others, we soon realize that it's ourselves that we have cheated on and not really others.

26. We begin to fret and feel pressured every time we make the world's standards as our own.

27. Some delays are because of the inevitable circumstances we are in, or because of the circumstances we have consciously chosen oursleves to be in.

28. It is unfair to blame others for who we are now. We have all the faculties to rise above every difficult situation we have faced; the decision to become better or bitter has never been dependent to others, even to the one who maligned us or that one who inflicted us with much pain.

29. Dreams do not happen in a snap, we work for it, every single day we are alive.

30. When all esle fails, LOVE :*

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Fuzzy the Dog

Until now, I am still baffled as to how I managed to pose with 'FUZZY', Br.Raffy's dear dog. I am really afraid of dogs. At times I find myself changing route, even if it means much time is needed to get to the destination, just to avoid dogs. Thus this is such a rare case!~^^ So, what prompted me to do this? Maybe it's the thought thatJaycee and Mimi will make B.I.G. FUSS if I won't play with FUZZY.lol! Thank you for uploading this picture, Ronn. The long wait is truly worth it! :)

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Death Today

If I were to die today,
Will I be happy with the kind of life that I have led and lived?

If I were to die today,
Will I leave this world without hang-ups and fixation on some aspects and phases of my life?

If I were to die today,
Have I done enough of my share in world-building, and love-sharing?

If I were to die today,
Have I been honest enough with my feelings and emotions to whom I felt those for?
Thus, I don’t harbor any regrets for failing to let the concerned know.

If I were to die today,
Have I been forgiven by those, whom I have offended, hurt or inflicted pain to?
And have I let go of the ills I have felt against others?

If I were to die today, can I say that I have lived a full life?
If I were to die today, am I completely ready?
If I were to die today, will I die happy, content and fulfilled?

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Paradox

If you talk depth, you are overly reflective, critical, analytical;
if you talk trivial, buzz, fuss, you are plain superficial.

If you talk less, you are really not participating;
if you talk more, you are monopolizing.

If you cry, you are emotional,
if you won't, you are naive.

If you dream, you are ambitious,
if you won't, you are meidocre, hopeless.

If you probe, you are nosy,
if you opt for silence, you are unaffected.

If you worry, you are cynic, negative,
if you won't, you are lax, if not, too sure.


Dichotomies. Paradoxes.
Know where to stand.
Fight for what you feel you ought feel.


Naturally, people will have something to say.
Good or bad is it that you do, they have something to blurt.
You might as well do what gives you peace.

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A Time for Kids

The child in them may need the adult in me, but it is for certain that the adult in me needs the child in them :*

A time with children is always a sure bliss! :)

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Spider Kids

'Spider kids' : Children's creativity and resourcefulness have always put me in awe. Blessed are they who think outside the box, setting aside inhibitions to experience bliss. May they always have the zest for life! ^^

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Volunteer

It was just last May when I fervently hoped to secure a shirt like this. I just took a picture instead as it's impossible for me to have one. I do not work with UNFPA, or I am not directly related to any of their projects. How then can I have one? Marry someone who has it? LOL! That's too much to ask for a shirt. haha!

Alvin Ysulat, remember the time we took shots of the shirt's message, all angles possible, while the program is going on? And now, I have one! Amazing it is. Dream, and keep that desire within..for all you know, you have it with you already! Yehey!

Simple as it may seem as this is all about a shirt, but it made me realize that if something is bound to find its way to you, it will. No accidents, everything is a part of a great, grand PLAN :)

To God be the glory!

#bliss

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Shirt Collections

If I were not here in Iligan, it's quite impossible for these shirts to find its way to me:)

I started the first wave of packing for the exit and look what I have found? Amazing it is! Daghang salamat to the generous people who were instrumental in realizing this collection. This came about unconsciously, unplanned. However, wearing them will consciously remind me of a great journey I have shared with people who have B.I.G. H.E.A.R.T.S., who always make helping and touching people's lives as their priority more than any recognition there is.

Let me say this again, it is not enough that we share our advocacy verbally; at times, it requires us to wear them. Some people are highly visual, let's be kind to them. ^__^

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It's in 20's

Restless? That feeling that you are like a misplaced energy. You have so much potentials to make things happen but the reality where you are is very limiting?
It seems that you have been jumping from one job to the other?
You are having difficulty in getting what you deem 'you deserve'.
That feeling when you do not know exactly what you want.
You get confused on what opportunities to choose, or you have been dying to get a break, even just ONE break and you'll make it BIG.
Tired of the many crossroads that you have to go through and confront over and over again?


There is this unending pursuit of happiness.
The urge to find one's niche'. The search for one's place under the sun.
Questions come rushing like a strong current:
Is it about money or heeding one's passion? Or, why is there difficult time chasing for both? Can't they come together in one opportunity?
Is it about choosing to stay at the comfort zone, or daring to go out in search for adventure?
Is it about engaging oneself to deep commitment, mere intimacy, or superficial relationships?


Partying whenever and wherever? Or locking up oneself alone?
Identity crisis? Losing one's identity, or trying to get deeper within to know who you really are?
When you decide on such issue, whose call is it? Yours? Your parents, friends or what other people and some strangers say?
Trade-offs. Opportunity cost. What will you be willing to compromise?
Feeling of worthlessness? Or happy, accomplished?
Found one's worth, and a circle worthy of emotional investment?
Young and wild? Young and free?
It can also be, YOUNG, WILD and FREE, but knows HER RESPONSIBILITIES.


Settling down, getting married? Opting for singlehood?
Or enjoying the complications and complexities of the relationship?
Forced singlehood? Forced or fixed marriage?
Single parenthood: enjoying the bliss, or hurdling the pang of burden?
Having found the love of your life, but confused whether it will be worth it to leave the life you have led all these years behind?
Or you took courage to get married and have found new direction and vocation from it.
Standing up for love? Or you have let others define how to deal with it?

Pretensions and facades, unending ways to conceal the current state, the present pains .
Is it belongingness that you long for?
Is it really necessary to hide what you go through?
If you trust your significant circles so much, then you lay to them your concerns, in black and white.
Never underestimate their capacity to understand you.

Are your actions derived from your fear of failure, or moved by your ardent drive to success?
Is it for yourself that you are doing it? If not, then for whom?

Peer, parental and societal pressures can be very powerful.
They have the capacity to unconsiously manipulate your life's direction.
They can give you the greatest emotional blows if you allow them to take the center stage of your life.
They may compare you to others of your age.
If you are lucky, you then have all their praises.
If you fall short of their expectations, banter here and there is but an understatement of what they can possibly do.

Too comfortable that you opted to stay? Or where you are now is too comfortable that you are itching to leave?
Up for something new, something challenging? But the thought of difficulty and uncertainty make you think twice.
You decided to stop entertaining the opportunity to explore, allowing yourself to be paralyzed.
To stay inside the box, or outside of which, is a decision you have to consciously resolve.
Know your reasons for doing so, not because you owe others explanation, but yourself simply ought to know.


Self-inflicted pressures?
Pushing oneself to the limits. What are you proving? That you are great? Fine, you are. Now, stop.
Be kind to yourself more than anyone else.
Stop the comparison once and for all.
You are different. They are different. And your choices set a bigger gap between the lives you lead now.
Know your craft and master it.
This lifetime does not really require us to be excellent at everything; be adept with at least a thing and you are then good enough.



Quarter-life is but a phase that many issues beset.
One has to realize that these issues are shared by almost everyone, and that there is nothing to be ashamed about; there is nothing to fret about.
It is important for one to be resolved of the kind of person she is becoming,
then she has to consciously pull everything under her power towards its actualization.


This is a breeding time for dreams, for BIG dreams.
This is again a phase, like many other life's phases, this will surely come to pass.
However, issues at hand have to be dealt head-on, lest this will surface as more aggravated issues during mid-life.
Know that escaping the issues does not in any way offer solutions, it even adds to the problem.


We do not neglect every encounter we have at this phase, rather we savor it with all gusto.
This is a defining point to many.
One gets to decide whether to become mediocre or achiever.
The next years that will follow will take so much brush of influence from here.

The best thing about Quarter-life crisis is that the people who go through such have a very good excuse to be adventurous and risk-takers, they are regarded as people who braved 'real world' to discover life's 'real worth'.


Restless? Continue exploring because you will never know where you best fit until you have tried going out from where you are. If you are happy where you are now, well and good. However, you might just be happier somewhere else. Nobody knows actually. All of us were born with innate instincts, if it feels right, it might be. But, if you feel there is something missing, there surely is. Do not stop until you find what it is.


This is also a time for the countless 'what ifs' that might linger for a lifetime. Unaswered.
Fears can be overwhelming as much as frustrations.
Unmet life's deadlines and unmet projections on plans may lead to frustrations.
Frustrations may lead to depression, even suicidal ideation or suicide itself.
These issues, when not properly dealt with, may develop to some behavioral problems of sorts.
Blaming : oneself, or others. Self-pity. Angst.

Whatever extent is your share on this life's phase, you have the power to rise above it all.
You have what it takes.
Every encounter is meant to make you better, please do not take that detour of becoming worse.

Enjoy the ride! Your 'right' attitude is your gasoline, it will keep you going.
Believe, keep the faith :)

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Corn and Eggs

When people ask me how did I survive the past six months here in Iligan, I do not actually know where to start. It's not that I am having a hard time to recall, rather the difficulty comes from the fact that there are so many stories that need to be told. Goodness after goodness. Kindness unceasingly shown. The cycle never stops.

I was sustained by people's generosity, unexpected most of the time. In many instances I do reflection, I cannot help but to tag myself as blessed. I am blessed. There is no reason for me to keep these blessings solely for my personal consumption. This has to be returned to the world. This has to be shared to others. I thank the people in my circle, for your support, love and understanding. Thank you for inspiring me to be generous. I hope I have mirrored your goodness well.

This is yet another unexpected blessing. Simple gesture of thoughtfulness that means a lot to me. Thank you to my angels today, Yano Ranalan Aguilar and Fy WOng :) May your cups overflow for a lifetime. I am deeply overjoyed by these. Lovelove :*

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Crazy Roommates

Cheers to a roommate who would run after you from the 9th floor to the ground floor just because you took a picture of her sleeping, slightly drooling :) Cheers to a roommate who is one of the factors why you developed an insomnia because she practically studies the whole time, having only an hour or two for sleeping. Cheers to a roommate who patiently endured the endless chatters and room 'concerts'. Cheers to THE CRAZY ROOMMATE who have put up so well, with flying colors, to our own dose of insanity.

Eunjoo Son! 생일 축하합니다! May you have a blast today. Too bad, Ana Salera and I are not there to throw a party for you.kkk...
We look forward to that day when someone will accept your marriage proposal so that we'll be compelled to fly there, and we be finally reunited @ Baekyang 기숙사. LOL!

We love you, that's for sure!
Take care and 행복 100번째 생일! kkk.. ^____________^
lovelove Eunjoo-ya :*
AJA!

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Project BP Apparatus

Remember Tatay Marcial? He was the blind man Doc Anisah and I visited last May. It's been nine years now that he is blind because of diabetes. When asked what does he want, we were dumbfounded as he only wants a BP set for he lost his own set during Typhoon Sendong.

My encounter with him gave way to many realizations. First, we'll never know whether the senses we enjoy now will last a lifetime. No one holds an eye and be certain to what the days may unfold. We savor with all gusto whatever that we have now. We never cease to appreciate and thank God for it. Second, the seemingly simple things to us may mean DREAMS or even just WISHES for others. To many, a BP app is something one can get in a snap. What's P1,700? Nothing. But, to Tay Marcial, it means close to everything. Third, he disturbed me for some good reasons. That meeting compelled me to do something. If I cannot give him what he is asking, I might as well bridge his dream to whoever can make it a reality. There you go, I learned the art of 'social begging'. I have seen a need, it was expressed to me, I have to do something to let the world know. I do not care if they won't help, what I care is - I get the message across those who are able.

Many days have passed since that first meeting. A number of generous people shared. To date, we have enough to start the first round of Training on BP and Vital Signs Taking to Community Health Leaders among the Sendong survivors. Through this, we can be assured that there will always be people in the community who know how to take BP and vital signs in the absence of health workers, especially on those times beyond office hours.

We have chosen to start in Tay Marcial's place -to honor the person who inspired us to do this. And it is a serendipity to see him by their door, listening to the radio. His family was transferred to a permanent shelter from a bunk house where I first met him. Amazingly, his house is just across the venue of the training. I ran to his direction and told him how the training came about. I can feel his heart. He is moved as much as I am.

I said this before and I will say this again, if my heart were a bomb, it could have exploded right there and then. But the difference now is - it's a happy explosion ^________^

Daghang salamat to everyone who made this possible for Tatay Marcial. I pray that your cups will overflow for a lifetime for sharing what you have. God Bless us all

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A GK Legacy

I would not be surprised if this community will produce tomato juice, tomato oil, tomato pie, tomato chips, tomato soap, tomato perfume/cologne, tomato paste, tomato facial scrub/foam, tomato toner, and many of sort, later on :* — at Ben and Soledad GK Legacy Village, Dulao, Bago City.

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Stereotypes

Do not define me and how should I be.
Please refrain from telling me what I ought to do, and what I should say.
No offense, but the box you have for me? I'll never fit.
You can only put up with me if you learn to accept the fact that I will never be someone made by others for me to wear.
I only have myself to flaunt in this lifetime. I might as well 'wear myself' consciously all the time.

Your definition of success and stability are far way different from mine.
I am very sorry to disappoint you over and over again.
You define stability along with tenure and in my case it’s being mobile, going around places, no fixed plan, no fixed time.
I come when needed, and leave when I am not.

Your compass is what other people’s standards are, like ‘what someone your age should be doing and should have accomplished' at this time.
I care less if I am not getting any younger, as we all are moving towards getting older.
I only have my heart as my compass on what I will heed.
I will remain loyal to what it says for it has never failed me so far.

No one is too young to know what her passion is.
It happened that I knew mine at a relatively younger age than many.
You may actually have known your craft long before, but have consciously put a blind eye to it, you brushed it off.
But I would rather bear the criticisms of others than to deal with the most difficult critic to handle – myself.
So, even how difficult things might get in the pursuit of my passion, I will never let go of it.
I wll unceasingly chase all means to better heed my passion, it’s the air I breathe.

You might have compared yourself to me, ending up pitiful of my lot for you have so many things that I don’t.
You have bought all the world’s fanciest. You are enjoying, I suppose. And know that I am sincerely happy for you.
But I do not want you to worry about me as I am truly happy with the life I lead.
I have met countless people in my travels; each close encounter with them brought me to be a better me.
I have seen a much bigger world than what I have thought to myself long before.
Some places I have been are enchanting, some are challenging and some can be heart-breaking.

I must admit that my account in the bank is as good as nothing, no savings at all.
I only live through God’s providence.
To date, my cup has never run out for there had always been people who extend hand along the way.
You must be enjoying the security of a fixed salary, of a long list of benefits and even that of bonuses.
You can be sure that I, too, am enjoying the unexpected help from friends and even from strangers.
I take joy in what they seemingly regard as 'little', it means much to me as most of which - I did not expect to receive.

Fall into a good rest while on your comfortable bed in your concrete house, newly built.
Again, be assured that though I am living like a nomad, I can always find myself hosted by generous and kind people. In places I have been to, there’s always a house that warmly opens for me.
While going through a heavy traffic jam, you might have seen me walking, let me be.
These feet have brought me to places no vehicles can enter, remote areas difficult to imagine or explain.
Let me honor these feet and allow myself to be brought to more places.
If I get tired, I have always the luxury to choose from pedicab, habal-habal, jeepney, bus and if I get really lucky, I’d take a taxi or yet another free ride from you or someone kind.



It seems that we are enjoying the best of both worlds.
And now that I have shared with you that I am totally fine, it is but fitting that you, too, will enjoy to the fullest, to its fullness, the life you have been bestowed of, that one you have defined to live.
I reckon that success and the state of being rich are defined by us, by the kind of priorities we set.
No one can tell us whether we are successful or rich using their own standards for we ought to have our own.

I may be a failure to you or others who have high hopes of me, but should I take that tag, be fully at peace because –
I AM A HAPPY FAILURE.
However, deep within, I know I succeed.
I succeeded far way better than what I have expected myself to deliver.
And most of which, the most influential factor, is not that I am clever and excellent but it is because my backer, up there, has been very consistent in providing me the grace that I need to pull things through.



In my poverty, I see the richness of hearts of people.
In my desire to reach out, I was greatly helped to reach within.
The risks I took made me more confident about myself and in what I can do.
The disappointments, hurts and pains have made me more human and more humane in the long run.
The love, compassion and respect I give are reflected very well by those I meet or work with.
I feel so blessed, and I believe you are, too.

We have found our niche’ and I can only hope that we take every opportunity to be of help to others.
We share our talents, skills and capacities to those who might take benefit from it.
We are where we are now for some best reasons, and though we may have many differences brought by the nature of our engagements and the life we choose to live up, I know we are one in our pursuit of happiness.

If I cry now, forgive me, it is out of pure elation.
Again, we continue defining our own.
Do not define me based on what you have achieved, and I also do not have any right to define you based on who I am today.
People need not heed one calling. Isn’t it silly if we are all the same? Such monotony, surely we cannot bear.

We are different because we are custom-made for something.
We are tailor-made for our missions.
We complement, complete each other.
I have to thank you for the concern, but I am now living a great life with so many twists and believe me when I say, I am enjoying the ride. ^__________^




Tough times? Laugh it off :)a

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2nd Year Anniversary Pangkat Sulo

Happy 2nd Family/Friendship Anniversary, Pangkat Sulo!
It's been two years now since our paths crossed. I have to thank God, the Master Planner, who made such coming together possible.

Our SSEAYP Journey has so many beautiful stories to tell. Despite our differences and idiosyncrasies at times, we have managed to pull it through. We have put up so well, I must say.

We have fought each other's battles. We have embraced each other's sanity and insanity.

For the tears shed, for the hurts and pains felt and inflicted, for the bliss shared, Cheers! They all brought us closer most of the time, and far apart in rare times. But those were instrumental in honing us to mold ourselves to the kind of persons we wanted to live up, and set the kind of impression on how we want to be remembered.

Two years, and it feels just like yesterday. It must be that special bond that we share that never ceases to linger. It must be because of it that even months without talking or meeting, a phonecall or sms can already mean a lot. Without any contention, we share a chemistry that will not just work with anyone else, but only to us. We have this spark every time there's a chance for meeting.

I sound like a hopeless romantic, but know that 'I LOVE YOU'. In fact such 'I love you' may be an understatement on what I feel for you, for us. Life will never be the same without you all. You are a significant part of me, and I know, we all are to each other.

I am proud of each one, as I have always been even before meeting all. You intensified my hope for a better Philippines. With your caliber, this country will go a long way :)

God bless our engagements and the little seeds of inspiration and concrete actions we sow. May we never tire in translating our SSEAYP learning towards a progressive Philippines and a closer JASEAN.

Keep the Torches burning, mga Kabagis!

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Letting Go

It's been a year now since I wrote this Letting Go note :)
This has helped me so much.
And now, I cannot help but to laugh. What we can do because of love is something unexplainable. I did not realize 'how much' I was emotionally dragged by my first-and-last relationship so far, until I saw this one. To date, this is the most personal note I allowed the public to see. I hope others who can relate can learn something out of this. ^_^

I do not dread falling in love for I claim that - to acknowledge and express love, and embrace the love given, are in the list of the greatest experiences a human can encounter. However, I dread what a short-lived love with much beautiful possibilities of growth can do- like in my case.

Approaching to four years now and I cannot still move on, or I have chosen not to move on. I am pathetic, yes I am. I do not know what kind of spell I am under. I do not know exactly why I act this way, all I know is – it started because I have risked in love, I have embraced love, I have loved.

If his claim is true that I broke up with him three times, I must be paying every act of rejection with a year. If so, by now, I have fully moved on and have opened up myself to possibilities of getting in a relationship with others. The truth is, no matter how I try, or maybe I have not tried enough, there has never a day that passed that I have no thoughts of him. Yes, never. Call me pathetic, I accept it.

This is the prize I have to pay for making a rash decision during the time he failed to call me. He missed to call and I made big fuss about it. How immature I am you say; yes very true again, I will not contend.

I broke up with him during the time I am in love with him. I called it quits not because I doubted his love for me, rather my whims of a relationship had not been fed. What’s worse to think now is, I love him more despite the fact that the both of us were already apart.

For a long time I felt that we did not have a closure, but looking back, we had. Days before I left for the Philippines, we met at a café house and parted in the most civil and friendly way possible. I recalled, too, that I was hurt when we bid goodbye to each other because it made me realize that we are not of each others’ anymore.

Now I reckon that everything I feel is under the spell of two words put together.. the spell of “what if”… what if during the time I broke up with him, he has a very good facility of the language to explain to me his side or to be able to put words together to shut my idiosyncrasies. How I wish it was like that.

There are times when I hoped that we parted ways in bad terms so that it’s so easy for me to curse him or to forget about him. It could have been way effortless for me to move on from that month-long relationship without any hang ups on my part. Yes, I wish it could have been that way.

No one will ever understand why I fell hard for him until I relate our love story, not until I share what made me fall for him and what were the simple things that he had done that made so much impact to me. After all, I have only myself as witness to all those sweet nothings that brought me a whole bliss.

And if it’s true that I have hurt him much, I want to ask for forgiveness through my sincere act of apology. I want to get out from this chain of spell. And if there is a chance to meet him, I will. I would rather not send him a message or call him now, I just want to meet him and talk things out personally. Hug him tight as I ask for sorry.

I will only be pacified and relieved if I get to meet him at once, air out my thoughts, and the emotions that cripple my whole system. :”(

If what I am going through now is the product of what I have done to him, I feel this is already too much of a burden for me to bear. Again, I have only loved. I might have made some irrational decisions along the way, but I feel I do not deserve like this much.

Lord, forgive me for everything I have done to the love and goodness of what my ex had shown me. But please Lord, allow me to forgive myself. Guide me as I choose the path to a better me, I will heed the call to move on. Make me realize that someone will love me, not exactly the way my ex showed it, but strong enough to make me believe again in the magic of what love does.

Lord, make our paths cross again and may you give me the chance to ask forgiveness to him. Wherever he is right now, may he be fully happy. And in our next meeting Lord, make us realize that what we did in the past, to be apart from each other, to call it quits, was just the best thing to do.

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Fathers Love

A father's love is incomparable to that of mother's. The gift of parenthood is a bliss. Being a parent is a personal response, and if one only lives it by heart with all appreciation and sincerity, then it is safe to conclude - both are unconditional. Happy Father's Day! - June 17, 2012 :)

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Pain, Love, Interwined

The thought of pain in risking to love becomes very powerful to such an emotional investment.
Who would want to feel love knowing that pain is just in the corner?
I am no gambler on romantic love.
I do not want to play unless I am certain that I will win.
Maybe that is the reason why at this age, I only have had a relationship but once. Short-lived.
And yes, I can only count on my fingers how many were my crushes, most of them, if not all, are gays.

The thought of loving and being loved in return, the way you expect it to be, is such an ideal scene.
Scripts of which will usually be ignored if not drastically trashed.
No one has the power to manipulate fully how events will unfold, simply because we all have the freewill.
I ought to feel and express what I want, everyone is entitled to do the same.
It's just a wish, a crazy one, to think that everything will fall into place the way we have planned it to be.

If you want to love and invest on it - you cannot have it until you learn to risk. Courage is crucial.
Allowing oneself to take the risk does not at all assure that success in the pursuit of love would come handy thereafter.
You risk in love. The next best thing is to act on it, and hope for the best.
But, before you even plunge, it pays to also engage thy self to calculated risks.
Know as much information as you could.

Control your heart if you must before leaving it all up to your emotions.
Pain is not a pre-requisite to bliss.
Joy need not have trade-offs at all times.
But reality bites. Where there is love, there is this constant threat of pain.
We may love just enough, much, or inadequately, there is always this pain that is part of the picture.
We may choose to avoid it, but we can never eliminate its existence in the scene.


Is it worth to love again after an emotional pierce?
Why not?
Who is immune to pain anyway?


Love.

Love until pain becomes foreign.
Love until you cannot distinguish passion from hurt.
Love as if pain is its seasoning, the defining flavor.
But love your own self more, much more than the extent of pain you allow yourself to endure for loving the one you have chosen.


To love and to be aware of the pain that clings to it is knowledge to aid us to be the best person we can be while loving;
it’s not an idea that will prepare us to be a slave to stupidity of pathological love.
May we always have the courage to get out from the arena of pain, the same courage that moved us to love in the first place. :)

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Permanent Shelters ASAP

Not everyone might know the current situation of Sendong survivors, let me share with you only a little of what I have witnessed from the bigger picture. Camps, tents can be very exciting for us, especially when we talk about our boy-and-girl-scout-days, isn't it? Though we are enjoying the feel of the camp and camping in general, we always reach to a point where we want to go home for we miss the comforts of which. I know the feeling because I have been into several camps. I sure have an idea how difficult it is. And no doubt, you have an idea of such, too.

It's been five (5) months now since Typhoon Washi/Sendong hit the country, especially the cities of Iligan, CDO, Bukidnon and Dumaguete. And here in Iligan, the internally displaced persons (IDPs) are still staying in the evacuation camps, in what they regard as tent cities.

Last Sunday, May 13, a sudden outpour of heavy rains and strong winds have triggered flashbacks of the tragic Sendong to many of the IDPs. Some lost their stuff again, while some others ironically evacuated, out from the deemed "evacuation camps". Some cried hard while others prayed hard. Waist-high waters rushed to some areas, thereby remark like "this is second Sendong minus logs", can be heard all over. Some tents got destroyed in an instant.

Five long months in the tents, enduring the scorching heat of the sun and the unpredictable,threatening rains. Tents are surely not durable after a while, not even conducive as shelter. But what can IDPs do? This is the best they got at the moment, they just have to bear everything not-so-good that goes with it.

It is my prayer, and is shared by other humanitarian actors and many others, that immediate actions will be taken by the authorities. The longer the IDPs stay on such situation, the more vulnerable they are to difficulties and other issues.

Violence, conflicts are increasing each day. We could only hope that everyone bounces back immediately. Few months ago, I have seen much resilience exhibited by people...but as the wait for permanent shelters keeps on getting longer and a bit uncertain to a number of people, some have shown unexpected deviations. While many moved on and are moving on, there are a number who have not and can not do such yet. And living in tents is not helping at all.

Whatever happened to the money donated for shelters? Who are stopping its immediate realization? If we claim that we have already taken actions, maybe it will also be nice to revisit the processes we have employed and the sense of urgency we have attached to it. As per assessment of many, it appears that you have not tried hard enough. You have allowed mediocrity to be your standards, you have not employed the best strategies yet. At times, we can get so comfortable with where we are that realities on the ground do not in any way alarm our senses.

If I am too passionate about this, forgive me. You see, going to the evacuation camps does not just allow me to see their situations, but it has been a venue for me to hear their stories firsthand. And believe me when I say, even stones will crack upon hearing their accounts.



It's very hard to wait with such difficult situation, and it's even painful to wait when you know there can be a way to hasten things. This is all about will. May we never lose that will at the expense of our brothers and sisters.

Much can be said about the difficulties experienced by the IDPs, but this will be after all words. One will never have that perfect understanding unless he brings himself off to the evacuation camps and spend even just a day or two with the IDPs. Only then, he will realize how is it feels like to be one.

Rainy season is starting and it crushes my heart thinking about those children who are crying every time it rains hard. Tsk!

Water got in the tents after heavy rains last May 13 :"(

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Blind Eyes

Who could have thought that after 50 years of seeing the world with his naked eyes, he will completely lose his sight. Being blind for nine years now, he is almost hopeless to submit himself to possible means to regain his sight. What surprised us, Doc Anisah and I, is his desire to at least own a BP Apparatus, to be able to check his BP constantly. He did not even insist on having an operation, BP app is what he's just asking.

If I had the means to produce one, I could have instantly given him. But what hit me hard is the realization that - NOTHING IS CERTAIN. What we will become in the next years IS VERY UNPREDICTABLE. We have to cherish what we have and what we own at present, take utmost care of our health and appreciate even the littlest of our encounters in this world.

This is but one of the stories we have heard and witnessed today. If my heart were a bomb, it surely have exploded. :"(

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Medicines for Delivery

Francis, an HOM teammate, was bringing a box of medicines to SSB, Luinab late this afternoon. There were a number of reported cases of colds and fever among children as a result to the unexpected heavy rains last Sunday night. Such cases were but a few of the ill results of last weekend's very bad weather, for others were forced to move out from the evacuation centers/camps to a higher ground. Some even lost again their stuff. While a number lost their tents if not partially damaged:"(

*The said medicines were the ones left from the medical mission last May 9.*

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Convergence for a Cause

The convergence of local groups to affirm Sendong survivors that there are still many people rallying behind their back, pushing for the best of their welfare :) This is it! No turning back, we are pushing to reality the Medical/Dental/Legal Mission on May 9. God, we cannot thank you enough for your grace. Thank you for people's generosity of hearts. They very well reflect your love and compassion:)

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Lesson Learned 2

I have not been to a place for this short time and learned this much.
Truly, everything happens for a reason and each encounter that we face has a very beautiful story to tell, if we only allow ourselves to introspect.

Coming here in Iligan has never crossed my mind at all before.
I do not even know where Iligan is exactly in the map. No offense, but that is the truth.
It is so unfortunate that it's because of a calamity that I was able to set foot on its land.
When I have fully set in, such a desolate welcome there was for me I thought.
I came to help, but I did not plan to stay long.
But it would be naive of me not to have that desire to come back upon seeing emotionally piercing scenarios unfold right in front of me.
My heart can only bear much.
If my heart were a bomb when I came to the city the first time, it sure has exploded.

It's amazing how the worst in calamities can bring out the best in people.
Seeing humanity at its best,
I did not doubt then that there is hero in each of us, to different extents though.

Even how selfish we can get sometimes, there is always a way to soften that heart to sympathize and empathize.
It does not matter anymore whether we know the person we are helping or not,
what's important is - help is readily available to those who need, especially those who seek for it.


Many have put their hearts on what they do.
Their work has been more than a source of income;
It was more of a passion, progressing as one cultivates and invests himself into it.
It does not matter which group or which known agency you represent nor it was a question of what your credentials are,at the round table, what matter: your heart, your intentions, your sincerity, your concrete actions and your plans.

Our actions are but our personal responses to what were laid to us.
We call the shot.
If I choose this, and you choose that - that's but normal.
We have diferent views on things and we cannot simply rub in what we deem important.
Each individual has a different set of priorities.
Whatever we heed, there is sure a good reason for that.


But one thing is certain, one's desire is restless until it is acted upon.
And helping is more than saying it with words, it invites and moves us to take actions.
Help can be in different forms.
And when we do so, we should not underestimate the power of the reciever to appreciate whatever little we share,they know too well and can attest that a little thing can mean really much.

Welcome any form of help, for helping is never a competition on who delievered much and who shared the best.
At times, we can hand in much without giving much enthusiasm with it.
When we give, our heart gets into the picture and that's what makes the whole package more meaningful, more beautiful.


This is not about who is put on the best position to extend his/her hands and heart to others,
but this is about who went out, despite the limitations, and be there.

Wherever we are, whatever little that we share, redounds to the whole of humanity.
One's goodness in a small place ripples to the whole wide world.

Is it that difficult to do good?
I believe, it's not :)

God bless!

050212

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Importance of Mental Health and Psychosocial Support Program in Post-Sendong

Typhoon Sendong has left unimaginable destruction of properties and loss of lives. At the onset of the disaster, survivors were very much concerned of their basic needs such as clothing, food and housing. To many who have lost their loved ones, problems concerning their basic needs were intertwined with the grief of sudden loss of loved ones and properties.

The response to extend help from others around the world came pouring, truly overwhelming. Many were able to secure their basic needs but to a number of survivors, it was too early to gain back emotional and psychological stability. The search for missing family members, the desolate situation in evacuation centers, the exchanges of stories that stirred grief amongst everyone, all these and more, have added to the emotional stresses that many try to hurdle. Each one has different pain threshold and an individual’s moving on over something painful is dependent on his personal choice, at his own pace.

Two months after the calamity, HOM Team Iligan conducted Rapid Mental Health Assessment in all the evacuation centers (ECs) in the city. Respondents were randomly chosen. Results showed that a number of the respondents experienced the following: thoughts of death or suicide, feelings of worthlessness, self- hate, guilt, fatigue, recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, being worrisome and easily frightened, especially when it rains.

Most of the survivors who are staying at the ECs are having difficulty to move on as their present living conditions affect their well-being so much. Water supply and accessibility to it concern them. They feel uneasy on the rules and prohibitions set for them to observe. The frequent raining always reminds them of the traumatic event that they have experienced. Most of the time they are haunted by the thoughts of Sendong. There had been reported cases of children who cry hard each time it rains. These are but examples of the impact of the calamity to the people of Iligan.

Prevention is good to avoid something, but Intervention is needed when something negative has already taken place. Thus, the HOM’s Mental Health program aims to offer interventions to those who have difficulty to cope with the distress or trauma caused by their experiences during Sendong and even after Sendong, as it is also a fact that some problems that surface are brought about by their stay in ECs.

Mental health and Psychosocial Support Program is essential in promoting interventions and ensuring that survivors get back to their lives as normal as they possibly can; to start anew as they learn how to rise above the situation where they are. Integration of Mental Health to Primary Health Care can be the most efficient way to get into the heart of the matter as we approach health holistically.

Sound decisions root from sound mind. We cannot separate behaviors from thoughts, they have a close-knit relationship. If we advocate health, we advocate Mental health.

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On Love

Love can be the simplest or the most complex.
To others it need not be elaborated; love is love.
While to many, it needs endless proving :)
Others give it away like an overflowing water,
while some others think twice, like the kind of weighing done before giving in a millions-worth investment.

Love is everywhere,
and cliche' as it may sound, everyone is capable of loving.
How much we love is very dependent on how much we are willing to risk.
Some others say that we can love without counting the cost, maybe true,
but isn't it that we love with the hope of many happy returns too?

We invest ourselves when we love.
It is not love if we do not bring in our emotions to the picture.
Love is not half-baked, it is simply our all.

I quite understand if most do not plunge right away.
Heart is life. We only have but one, might as well keep it and risk to the most worthy.

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On Break Ups

Four years ago, I was almost drowned in pain.
I can finally relate to what they call breakup blues.
Never ending questions haunted me, "why did it have to end?".
Regrets and resentments were rolled into tears, gushing on my face.

At that time, it may seemingly be close to "the end of my world",
I made my relationship as my world for a time, that's why.
Countless of tissues were consumed; I even break down on the floor.
How can a relationship that seemed so perfect go wrong?

That time, my only consolation was what my friend's mom shared to her,
"a breakup is always a blessing from God for he saved you from the wrong one."
I held on it like a diamond, something very precious.
That thought sustained me to get through it all.

Moving on is a choice and at one's desired pace.
I have tried moving on, but I did not try hard enough.
I was a stalker for a long time.
I have continuously hoped for another chance for the both of us.

Pathetic? Yes! I affirm.
Now that I am sane and have fully moved on from my first relationship, I cannot help but to laugh.
True, some things can only be worth laughing at after quite a time, and I did prove that one!
I am relieved that I went through it, the pain and everything that goes with the breakup were all worth it.


For the past days, a number of friends shared to me their breakup stories;
seems like breakup season, huh?
There is something about breakups that I can very well relate to,
We might have called it quits for different, and uniquely disappointing reasons, but one thing holds true...
It's never easy to let go and say "not anymore" to the one you have loved deeply before.



If we feed ourselves with the happy memories we have shared, we can never fully move on.
If we hold it close to our hearts, it will never be easy to let go.
In times like this, it pays to go back to the reason why we even chose to end it.
Thinking about it might be a reason enough to fimly stand by to the decision we made.

A breakup is always painful to those who have invested in the relationship.
We invest our time, efforts, emotions; we invested our life into it.
However, the illusion of having lost a part of ourselves, does not at all mitigate the pain we bear.
Instead, we make things worse and more painful to endure.

A breakup is an invitation to become either better or bitter,
and I hope we come to senses to always choose the former.
If things did not work, you are making yourself vulnerable to possible hurts if you push it harder.
If things do not work, they simply do not.
If they do not work now, what are the chances that they will work in the future?
If mistakes were made and you want to give another chance, it's up to you - your shot, your call!
We know ourselves better, we have an idea of the threshold we have for pain,
and I hope we dare not subject ourselves to the pain we can hardly bear.

What you can stand, others might not.
Your choices give the world an idea how strong, weak, shrewd or stupid you are.
Our worth is more than a breakup,
It's not the end of the world for one who has just broken up,
Believe me, you'll get by, you'll get through this.
It's just that, pain will not go away in a snap.
Feel what you ought to feel right now.
Cry if you must and if you really love yourself,
You'd know when you've already shed too much emotions over something not meant to last.

Go, pick up yourself and get a great, grand life you deserve! :)

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A Just Way

This elderly has fallen into sleep in the jeepney while peeling the vegetable that she will sell in the market. I admire her so much as she works hard to earn and she meets her needs through a just way.

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Passioniche' :)

Dance like everyone is looking intently to every groove you make,
swing all your worries.
Step on every trouble you face.
Clap on your victories and even on your defeats.
Heads up to whatever it is that the crowd might say;
Stretch those hands, legs and feet,
Stretch yourself.
Do not confine your happiness with the limits set by others;
you are to create your own.
You define to which extent you wish it to reach.
stretch some more, stretch until your body tells it so that it's too much.


Dance.
Groove some more,
You'd know too well when it's enough.
Cool down.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth.
Cool down.
Slowly, you are approaching the finale.
Music stops.
Gasps. Perspires.
Fulfilled, elated.
Silence.
Rest.

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A Dozen of Pens

Finally met Manong Reynaldo and bought more than a dozen pens from him ^___^

Manong Reynaldo has a big heart and has a very sunny disposition despite the lot he is facing. One thing I have observed from him during the short time we were together, he keeps on talking about God's goodness and how his faith has been instrumental on how he sees life. For him, to earn means selling quality products without overpricing it. He knows that it's mostly the students who patronize his pens and that's why it has to be cheap for them to afford it. It's amazing for someone to pull through difficulties in the family and life in general with much enthusiasm like how Manong Ballpen does!

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Code of Arms

What I am good at; what I need to improve about myself; what I value; my greatest aspiration; who and how I want to be remembered...these were rolled into one childlike artwork :) This has brought me to self-awareness. Though this may change as time passes, one thing's certain..this is true to me NOW :) And I cannot thank God enough for bestowing me the grace to see His masterpiece in me. Amen :) thanks doc Khasmin Ismael for this activity :)

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Love and Live

"who makes you smile? "
that person is truly "somebody" to you then..
there are just only a few of them out there who are capable of creating such curve on your face..
and when you found one, never let go of him
nor allow chances to slip for you to get closer..
remember, we cannot turn back neglected opportunities and all the more - time, in general..
time holds almost everything if not all..
he may be the guy meant for you
or he may not be the one destined for you.. nobody knows actually..
only time can tell..
nevertheless, enjoy the feeling you have while you are building memories with him.
don't ever entertain consequences yet for by doing so, you are defeating the bliss and joy that the present brings.
do not rationalize things instead give your heart the chance to show the genuine emotion it feels at the moment..appreciate and never cease to do it
love does not question race, culture, beliefs, religion or that many other standards we used to have in our respective lists..
it only requires mutual feelings shared by those individuals involved.
life is too short to live it in futility..
so take hope all the time..
be happy because everybody deserves it actually
love and live..

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Mental Health To The Heart

The experiences we had in the past weeks can be likened to a movie that portrays the lives of those who pushed for the unconventional and unpopular. I have already an idea how difficult those pursuits were, but the difficulties experienced firsthand are truly an uphill climb. Unlike in movies, success stories can be expected in two hours or so, approaching to its end, but ours can most likely take a lifetime. The start, laying the foundation of the advocacy, awareness-raising of its rationale and necessity, is grueling. Out of the hundreds we have talked to, we have won some. They sustained our optimism and enthusiasm to keep on going.

Mental health is important. However, over the past years, the need to address it has not been that urgent compared to the premium we give to the other aspects of health. It is not independent. That is why our ardent desire is to integrate it into Primary Health Care. There is no doubt that in some cases, the physical complaints of people are not the primary reason why they seek medical attention; those are but manifestations of the stress and anxieties they are facing. They do not necessarily need medicine rather they need to unload and reconcile whatever they bear through other means, one of which is Psychotherapy that is realized through a series of sessions with a Mental Health Specialist or an able practitioner who handles such.

In every traumatic event, there sure are people who will bear various traumas in their lifetime. Each person has a certain threshold over something. With overwhelming destruction to properties or loss of loved ones brought by natural/man-made calamities or armed conflicts, some can transcend the situation while others cannot. It basically depends on how strong the person who faces it and supplementary to that is the quality of support system he/she has. Resilience is true to all, but we exhibit it in different extents. We bounce back from a traumatic event at our own choice, at our own pace.

Why then intervene? The simple answer to that is the question – “Don’t we all dread the worst?” When these simple, abnormal manifestations of common mental disorders are neglected and taken for granted, they will eventually develop to severe ones. And once they are classified as Severe Mental Disorders, it will already be difficult to bring it back to its normal state, worse is – “normal” will forever be just a fancy.

We do not settle in getting a cure or healing only for the patients, alongside with it is our yearning for a PsychoEducation to their families and their communities. Mental health is a concern of everyone, no exemptions. The mainstream can either make or break those that are a part of it. It is for that reason that we want it to be a part in the healing rather than a cause to the destruction of life.

If Mental Health is a product, it’s likened to a newly-launched one; people are at the stage of trying to appreciate its essentiality. Unlike many products out in the market that appear to be mere whims but have overwhelmingly drawn attention, Mental Health is not something that popped to stir a necessity in us. This has been a long-time need to which we have just put a blind eye to.

Many have been victims of our neglect on its importance. Some have committed suicide, while some put themselves in isolation, and others wander on streets without direction. Some inflict pain on themselves and worse is, other’s outrage has caused the loss of some innocent lives. There will be more cases of this sort if we do not act now. Issues on this matter should not be delayed; this should be dealt with once and for all.

Yes, we can only do so much, but I hope we exhaust all the means we can do to concretely advocate and live out its importance. Though I must warn you, advocating and acting on this do not give an immediate result. One has to understand that we are dealing with life that observes process. Your consolation is that - your investment on Mental health is an investment to life itself.

A man who lost his mother and youngest brother during Typhoon Sendong. Until now, their bodies are not yet found. Blessed is he who has a positive disposition despite everything that happened, how about the others who have similar stories? Yes, they are at risk.

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Pangkat Sulo

A circle that has influenced me much. Wherever everyone is right now, there is no doubt that the torch each is holding is vibrantly burning and is lovingly shared to humanity :) *I so miss PANGKAT SULO*

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A Sister's Though

Dear Bea,

You are way too young to know much about what ills can other people inflict to their fellowmen. I tell you, there are many of their sorts in this world. Do not be disheartened; instead be hopeful that such will come to pass, though it may not be as soon as you hoped it to be.

Some, too bad to say this, but are too young and yet are already too corrupt.
Some people may not use their mouth to talk because they feel that it’s easier to use their money to speak on their behalf.

At times, others can stomach bypassing some people’s rights in order to protect their personal gains and interests. You can only assume that they are miserable, but you can never really tell. You are not like them; you do not really have that thorough idea on why they do such and what for.

By now, you have realized that you cannot outright conclude that a person is intelligent because he has gotten himself a Latin honor when he graduated, for what matters is how he applies those theories in the arena of life where he deals with people, real people with real problems to handle. It’s saddening to note that one can just have the gall to treat others with a trial and error method. It’s as if people are like specimens in a laboratory. Whoever they are, pray for them. Bless their souls.

Some have been best of friends with their egos for the longest time. It seems that their egos are even bigger than their brains and hearts. When you ask them to be at least humane, they rattle. Do they let go of their precious egos? Shall they prick it with their act of kindness or admittance that they committed a mistake? Is that all easy to swallow one’s ego? I bet you have witnessed affront the answer to these questions. Yes, it’s No. Know that it’s possible that in the passing of time and with a certain extent of maturity, their dreaded egos will eventually subside.

By now, you can attest that manners do not go along with wealth. No one can buy manners, however those are free for everyone to embrace and live out. If others do not act the way you have expected them to, do not be dismayed. Know that you are not in control of them. They have their own set of thinking. The consequences of their actions are not for you to bear in the future, it’s theirs. Even how loony, self-centered and inconsiderate they can get at times, still pray for them.

In your pursuit of your purpose in life, you will realize that the world is more than just about you. In your future battles, fight not just for yourself but for others as well. I know your principles are way too important than any amount of money you can get, and that’s why you are admirable.

Be a slave of your principles and your rights, but never of money. Do not attach yourself to worldly things for they are very transitory. Know that your possessions do not and will never define who you are; your worth as a person is more than any fancy and expensive things you can acquire.

Lastly I ask you to remain firm. Stand up for your rights, even if others put a blind eye to it. Speak up even if it will fall on deaf ears. For after twenty years or so, it’s better to look back on your courage to stand up for what is right than to sulk for keeping within yourself what you ought to be asserting.

What matters now is not whether you were heard or not; what really matters is whether you have spoken. You gave your share of the story. It’s basically up to them what to do. After all, it’s very evident that your values are way different with them; you see situations in different perspectives.

With all these things you have experienced recently, never give up on the capacity of other’s to do good. Be kinder to those who hurt you, you just do not know how wrecked they may be as persons. We love you and for always, we will be here. We might not be that expressive most of the time, but know that we care :*

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Earthquake

What can be more important to life, but life itself?

The sincerity, intensity and impact of a message in a cliché are most of the time taken for granted. People have heard such a message countless of times already that to some, it does not make sense anymore. There are two dominant possibilities in sharing a cliché, either the ones who hear it believe and live it, or they hear and disregard it.

How about if the cliché pertains to life?
What if it goes like, “Life is short, live it to the fullest.”
“Any good you can do now, do it. Do not delay.”
Will it ever find its way to your hearts? I mean, how many people out there will take that call seriously and heed a life mindful of its fleeting and transitory nature?

Devastations, destructions, hostilities, calamities, accidents and many others of that sort are actually not new to me. I hear them from news, read it in dailies, overhear from others or even witness it happen right in front of me. And because it has been so casual, as often as you can imagine, those too, even how emotionally piercing, have lost its impact on me at some point.

Not until yesterday.

I have never consciously felt afraid on matters of death until I experienced the earthquake yesterday. It may seemingly be any one of those not-so-strong-earthquakes there is, as its just magnitude 6.3, but to tell you the truth, that was already the strongest and longest quake I have experienced since birth. I was rattling within as much as the way I have reflected it through my actions.



When it happened, I was with the other churchgoers who were hearing mass in the chapel. I did not know what to do, though I am certain that I wanted to go someplace safe. Anxieties and fears were very well evident on people’s faces. I heard cries. Some knelt down and the one closest to me prayed: “Forgive our sins Lord. Please cover us with your mantle of protection.”

Tears gushed on my face. No words. I knelt down crying.
I then asked, what can be worse than what I have seen in Cagayan de Oro and Iligan? I cannot reconcile such a thought. I prayed, prayed harder this time.

Shortly after, classes and work have been called off. In a short span of time, the wary crowd subsided. Cracks on few buildings came to existence after. It was announced that a number of aftershocks can be expected in the next hours and there we felt them indeed. When I reached home, I was still a little dizzy. And when I was about to take a nap early in the evening, there is another shake that prompted me to go out of the house. Another one came during dinner.

Fear enveloped us. The thought of the strong tsunami that hit Japan and the powerful current of water coupled with a massive number of logs during Typhoon Sendong that wiped out areas in CDO and Iligan last year, those scared the hell out of me. But the thought that God is there to protect, these fears died down.

Awareness of what kind of devastations can possibly happen is something that can kill us before the real thing happens. To be firm in faith and believing that everything will be well will truly help us rise above the situation. But still, we are no masters of these calamities. Most of the time, our instincts will lead us on what we ought to do at the moment.

May we be spared from all calamities.

Please, let us continuously pray for each other.

No one from us will live forever, let’s make our lives meaningful.

If you have been too selfish all along, we better think of others as much as we think of ourselves now, for who knows, later on it might be too late to extend that help we are capable of giving.

God Bless you all! :)






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#freeflowing

The breeze caressed me; a touch so familiar yet so rare I encounter.
The light basked until the deepest in me, no darkness was left loafing.
The spectrum of bliss brought out the best within,
I will bless the world for always.

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Emotional Vent

The land was enveloped with loss and grief;
Dirt, mud and cries were but a few way to welcome strangers.
Destructions were much reason for distraction.
Such irreconcilable sight, no word can explain.
Devastating, dreadful, disturbing; putting them together will still be an understatement to the whole picture.

How to deal with a loss of a loved one?
No one will ever understand.
A hug and kind words of encouragement will never suffice.
At times, silence says all the message needed.

The eyes may not show how much pain the heart carries.
The skies failed not in communion with the mourning.
Each day, its cries are felt on the lands.

Many unsung heroes are concretely doing their share to ease other people's pains.
Simple acts of kindess that means so much at this point.
Yet, a number also err in making money out of the tragedy.

Where does moving on start when a large number is still missing?
When does acceptance come in when everything was too sudden?
When does hope take place when all else seem blur?

With angst, many claim that such a tragedy was a punishment from God.
At the peak of one's emotions, this can be the only thing true.
No. Our God is a loving God and no evil comes from Him.
No loving father can ever afford giving stones to a child who asks for bread.

Everybody surely wants to move on.
But the pace of it does not in any way lie to the outsiders rather to the ones who went through it all.
Back to normal life is a luxury that a handfull can afford.
To some, normal life will just be a fancy.
Losing loved ones will change everything for a lifetime, everything.

Faith has been a great factor in the pursuit to move on; transcending from the situation.
Now is the best time to be aggressive in helping.
May we not wait for another tragedy to show how much we are concerned of each other.

Approaching two weeks after Typhoon Sendong, I met two women trying to look for the missing bodies of their relatives. This was taken in Sitio Bayug, Brgy. Hinaplanon, the worst-hit area in Iligan City.

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