How far can your faith push you?

I cannot remember when I learned to pray, all I can remember is – it was my parents who taught me how.
I can remember though that once I doubted God and why I did such.

When I was still a child, my parents would bring us all together in their room for a family prayer. We also said the rosary every night. On the days when papa cannot come home or when he will arrive late, mama leads it. My family seems to be perfect, but like any other family there is – we are not.

A couple of times I and my siblings engaged into a fistfight or I even experienced being bitten by my younger brother and kicked by my older brother – yes, we beat and bit. We also say really bad things to each other. There was even a point when I wished I am just the only child. Of course, when my parents knew about the crazy things we do while they were out for work, they will reprimand us or hit us out of dismay.

We are a simple family. We may not be rich then but my parents took time to bring us out for lunch to Jollibee or McDonalds every Sunday. I thought it was an effort on their part to bring their five children out every week. Years passed, we went to school, had more needs to meet and had a lot of preoccupations to attend to. We may not have forgotten the usual family activities we used to do – the family prayer and the Sunday lunch, but we hardly had time for it.

Things changed. We still have misunderstandings but never translated to violent actions. Well, I must admit that the exchange of words against each other are more piercing and have more lasting impact. Now, I wish those exchanges were turned into fistfights. We still pray and attend mass, but this time – on our own.

My childhood influenced me much. Our upbringing shaped my actions and perspective in life. Of all the things that our parents have provided and imparted to us, I believe that it is their faith in God that has the most impact to me. In times when life gets tougher, it is my faith that pushes me to live life to its fullest with much optimism for brighter days, not having to worry because I know that no problem is greater than my God.

Just recently, problems came rushing, truly overwhelming. It brought much tears to my parents. My father who rarely cries did cry like a little boy. My mother breaks down into tears if you just utter few words that would touch the problems at hand. For someone who has a meager income and is still finding her niche, it is difficult to give words of assurance and comfort by telling them that I will pay the debts and take care of the property foreclosures.

In times like this, it is only my firm faith that I can concretely share to give them solace with what we are facing. I shared to my father that the best days are yet to come. I reminded him of what they taught us - to just pray, may it be during ups or downs. And I have emphasized to him that when they pray, they should not at all doubt that God will listen to their pleas. We surely cannot underestimate what God can do.

I have been through a lot and I have surpassed those, not because of my human prowess but all because of God’s graciousness. Everyday, the Father gives us miracles; we just have to allow our eyes to see it and our hearts to embrace it. Some miracles are too great yet some can be mundane.

One time, a non-believer asked me if there is really God and with strong conviction I told him that there is. I have felt God’s presence in my life - which is too difficult for me to describe; I will be too naïve to doubt about His existence. I have never doubted and He has always delivered.

How I wish I can put the right words together to fully express what I feel. I am blessed to have a family that helped me find this kind of faith and I am very happy to have circles that help me nurture it. My faith inspires me to seek the beauty of every encounter, to appreciate the littlest of things and to give premium to my relationships with others.

Difficulties make the present and future vague and difficult to bear, but we always have to be reminded that God will help us pull things through. If it is not as soon as today, it can be later, but never late to the time we really need it. We have to believe and we have to let go of our grip of other things; we have to empty our hands to keep hold of what He will pour on us.

Yes, there is so much to look forward to for the bounty blessings will soon come!:)