37th SSEAYP Journey: Test of Faith and Character

When I started working to meet my quota, I was already claiming that I have it. I know that God will provide my needs. I do not have a job and I am really broke, but with my faith, I know I can pull things through. I thought it will just be a sort of walk-in-the-park-pursuit which all I have to do is to go to LGUs, explain about SSEAYP and highlight that I am one of the 28 youth ambassadors to the program and that’s it, I have the money I needed to raise. That is just my biased imagination, but it did not happen the way I thought it will be.

My first visit to LGUs was something that left me really frustrated. Not only because my request was not granted but there are sad realities that were laid right before my very eyes. I have seen how some government employees treat the people who go to them for help. And I readily recalled what a SSEAYP batchmate posted on his status message: “you can tell an awful lot of things to a politician by the way his employees treat you.” And as I wait for my turn, I pray, I pray for the employees who are inattentive to the people’s needs, that at least they will lend their ears to them, even just for once.

I harbored ill feelings to those whom I have asked help from in the first week of the 35k-hunt, especially to the LGUs. I felt I deserve to be supported and why is it very hard to convince them? At some point I have asked myself, “do I really have to beg for something that I deserve?”. If an LGU wills to help me, they surely can. They can look for a budget for this. I am not only representing my city rather the region and country as a whole.

I actually felt bad when upon handing the letter; the secretaries would read it and right there and then they will give a decline for an answer. I felt it was too premature to judge my representation. I have not even been given the chance to speak. How then can I explain fully what the cause I am into? Could they at least listen? Yes, not having given much chance to be listened to before they make their decisions was something I called “foul”. It is very unfair, I thought.

The above incidents triggered me to ask help from others. I began to approach private individuals and private companies for sponsorships. My friends took the effort to extend help to me. Things were not easy at first but with the support I have, I was very positive that I can raise the money in no time.

There were days that I shed tears not because of disappointments rather of the bliss I felt within. The outpour of love, help and support was so overwhelming that I sometimes questioned, “do I deserve this?”. I cannot imagine how people can be so generous!

I would account all the experiences I have to God, I have felt Him and I have seen Him in the people whom I have encountered on this pursuit; those people who made it possible to reach my dream. Looking back, I realized now the beauty of the things that happened and did not happen. That everything did happen for a beautiful reason, that I am bound to become a better person out of this process.

It was not easy for me to get that quota, when it could be possible to have it in a snap like my other batchmates, because I have to learn patience, perseverance, especially faith in God. Had I gotten the 35k easily from an LGU, I might have deprived myself of witnessing the sincere little acts of the people around. I might be too overwhelmed by the 35k from the LGUs that I will not be able to appreciate the little acts that people do for me. But thank God, I experienced the other way, I am much grateful with what I went through.

I have realized how it is important to be listened to. I recalled now those people I have encountered, they might have felt they were deprived to speak up and to be listened to, because they were not given the venue. I am inspired to listen more and talk less this time. I might not know, what others need is just to be listened to, just like what I have experienced.

It also dawned on me that though my cause is important, and I feel it is something huge, there are also pressing needs at hand, like mothers lobbying for help from LGUs for their children who are battling for their lives, elderly who asks for medical assistance, and so on, who, for me, need attention and fast action from the government as compared to me. This quota can wait.

I have been used to giving, that is why I find it hard to ask from others. And now I have learned the beauty of asking, admitting that I do not have much and that I need others to fill in the deficiencies I have.

God’s goodness, the people’s generosity, the outpour of love and support, the contagious goodness of people cannot be encompassed in an essay or reflection. I wanted to write something that will give others the idea on how it is and how it impact me, transforming me to become a better person, but I guess it is not meant to be felt through reading my story, it is meant for one to experience it to appreciate the beauty of it all.

I will leave Bacolod for SSYEAP with much bliss, so much that I can hardly contain. I did not know how much I am loved until I went through this recent process. God knows how much I am thankful of each person who made all this possible. Yes, reaching a dream is difficult, but if you have people who help you achieve it, it is like getting a guava fruit from its tree.

P.S. thank you Bago City, my hometown, for the support :) kudos to our officials.

thank you University of St. La Salle for rallying behind my back.

truly, God is seldom early but He is never late, and through these intitutions, much of my quota was realized :)
friends, i cannot thank you enough; i can only ask God to bless you unceasingly. thank you!

Thank you Lord, I know you truly love me.

malou :)