My Christmas All Year Round

during Christmas season, i always find time to look back for the year that has been and enumerate the many blessings that God has bestowed on me.
it always amazes me to realize how blessed i am.
and if those blessings be equated to some monetary value, i bet no banker could come up with the amount
or if one comes up with the amount, i will surely be the richest person alive! :)

this year has been my best so far; i have been given a lot of opportunities to grow.
i have journeyed far and near.
i went to places and i was also able to go within.
everything has been generously given by the Almighty.
what i find the most interesting was, God made partners with a lot of people to make me feel His love for me,they are in the form of human angels: family, friends and new found families and friends during my travels through SSEAYP.

i could recall that during bus rides to institutional visits, i find time to reflect
those reflections always make me cry
those tears are out of elation for the bliss that i have experienced in my life, especially for this year
i cannot help but to wonder, do i deserve all these?
but thinking that the God is so gracious, He makes things worthy for us to have; i then stop asking and just enjoy and savor whatever i have.

truly, i am blessed. i will not elaborate on that, those who know me will no doubt attest to such. :)
my Christmas prayer is, for God to bless those have shown to me the spirit of the Season all year round.
may He bless my family and friends who have been there; their love for me made all things possible.
their joy is to see me realize my dreams. they share my ups and downs as well.
indeed they are jewels worth keeping for a lifetime, and for eternity, if time permits:)

i am blessed with the 37th Ship for Southeast Asian Youth Program where i was able to meet more than 300 young people across Japan and ASEAN, youths who share the same aspiration with me and that is no less - create the best world we all deserve.

through the program, i was able to have new sets of wonderful families who inspired me to have one of my own.
these families considered me like their own. i never felt i was a stranger to them even on our first meeting.
i am truly blessed to have families in the countries we have visited, a family that is not defined by the time we have spent together but by the special bond we have developed.

i had also meaningful encounters with new friends, they were the ones who have shown warm hospitality to us when we were in their communities. their interactions and assistance meant a lot!

could you blame me if i would assert that it has been a Christmas to me all year round? ^^
surely, Christmas spirit has been manifested into my life way before the Christmas day.
i hope we all realize that we do not need Christmas season to show how we value and love each other.
if you only choose to be a blessing to others everyday, you can!
i can then imagine how beautiful this world will be.
may we never forget the essence of celebrating Christmas, upholding the value of Love through selfless giving just what the Father did:)
Merry Christmas to us all!
malou

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Homestay Lessons

i want to believe that the heart of SSEAYP is the homestay program in the countries of the ports of call.
nothing beats the direct immersion in a home in learning the culture of people and the society where they live in.

i am deeply overwhelmed by my homestay experiences. thus, i feel the need to share this with others.
oh by the way, i want to share that i keep a journal on this SSEAYP journey but i always fail to update it during homestays. well, it is not that i am too busy, that i do not have time to jot down what happened on those days and what my insights were, but is more on my fear - i was afraid not to give justice to the experiences and encounters i had for no amount of words could encompass what my heart truly feels. but then again, here i am, trying to put together words to at least give others a picture of my overwhelming experiences in the countries i have visited. :)

In Japan, where my first homestay was, i have learned hospitality. My foster mom has been a host to more than a hundred foreigners visiting Japan. She never ceases to offer her home to strangers.

In Malaysia, i have learned kindness and sincerity. The family that took us was not actually the original family assigned to us but they were just too kind to bring us back to their home together with the two male PYs (Participating Youths) they already have. They let us experience Malaysian culture in the best way they can and they never made us feel we are less favored. They treated us equally and they have loved us unconditionally.

In Thailand, i have learned love and the importance of time for the family. My family inspired me more to build my own. My foster parents always give top priority to their family even if they have their own preoccupations. My younger sister realizes how blessed she is and that she develops a very good disposition in life. At 10, i cannot believe that my sister Mint, thinks maturely; at some point, even matured than i do.haha

In Indonesia, I learned sisterhood, enthusiasm towards life and love for learning. My family together with my two other mothers went out their way to bring us around, we had a lot of exchanges on the car while waiting in the heavy traffic jam.those delays have been a blessing for us to have a lot of time to get to know each other more and learn from each other's differences and similarities.

In Singapore, I have learned patience and faith. My family might have a couple of preoccupations but they still manage to make things work for their children. In everything that they do, what they have in mind is what's good for their children, special concerns are being dealt with accordingly. By the way, this is the only country that i was able to visit a church and i am just so happy about it.

In Vietnam, I have learned friendship, adventure and importance of community. Truly, things are a lot better when done with a group. I appreciate it very much when people pull their resources together, go out their way to make things possible for us.

Looking back, I cannot deny that i am so blessed. Sometimes i am still crazy to ask whether i deserve such bliss or not. It leaves me on recalling how have i dealt with others, was i this good enough to deserve the outpour of blessings? But, yes, this is all from God, i should not be questioning in the first place.

I am a whole lot better person with this whole trip. Truly, no amount of priceless gifts can match the TIME consciously devoted by my foster families just to let me and my homestay sisters fit in on their very busy schedules.

May God unceasingly bless them all. Amen.

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37th SSEAYP Journey: Test of Faith and Character

When I started working to meet my quota, I was already claiming that I have it. I know that God will provide my needs. I do not have a job and I am really broke, but with my faith, I know I can pull things through. I thought it will just be a sort of walk-in-the-park-pursuit which all I have to do is to go to LGUs, explain about SSEAYP and highlight that I am one of the 28 youth ambassadors to the program and that’s it, I have the money I needed to raise. That is just my biased imagination, but it did not happen the way I thought it will be.

My first visit to LGUs was something that left me really frustrated. Not only because my request was not granted but there are sad realities that were laid right before my very eyes. I have seen how some government employees treat the people who go to them for help. And I readily recalled what a SSEAYP batchmate posted on his status message: “you can tell an awful lot of things to a politician by the way his employees treat you.” And as I wait for my turn, I pray, I pray for the employees who are inattentive to the people’s needs, that at least they will lend their ears to them, even just for once.

I harbored ill feelings to those whom I have asked help from in the first week of the 35k-hunt, especially to the LGUs. I felt I deserve to be supported and why is it very hard to convince them? At some point I have asked myself, “do I really have to beg for something that I deserve?”. If an LGU wills to help me, they surely can. They can look for a budget for this. I am not only representing my city rather the region and country as a whole.

I actually felt bad when upon handing the letter; the secretaries would read it and right there and then they will give a decline for an answer. I felt it was too premature to judge my representation. I have not even been given the chance to speak. How then can I explain fully what the cause I am into? Could they at least listen? Yes, not having given much chance to be listened to before they make their decisions was something I called “foul”. It is very unfair, I thought.

The above incidents triggered me to ask help from others. I began to approach private individuals and private companies for sponsorships. My friends took the effort to extend help to me. Things were not easy at first but with the support I have, I was very positive that I can raise the money in no time.

There were days that I shed tears not because of disappointments rather of the bliss I felt within. The outpour of love, help and support was so overwhelming that I sometimes questioned, “do I deserve this?”. I cannot imagine how people can be so generous!

I would account all the experiences I have to God, I have felt Him and I have seen Him in the people whom I have encountered on this pursuit; those people who made it possible to reach my dream. Looking back, I realized now the beauty of the things that happened and did not happen. That everything did happen for a beautiful reason, that I am bound to become a better person out of this process.

It was not easy for me to get that quota, when it could be possible to have it in a snap like my other batchmates, because I have to learn patience, perseverance, especially faith in God. Had I gotten the 35k easily from an LGU, I might have deprived myself of witnessing the sincere little acts of the people around. I might be too overwhelmed by the 35k from the LGUs that I will not be able to appreciate the little acts that people do for me. But thank God, I experienced the other way, I am much grateful with what I went through.

I have realized how it is important to be listened to. I recalled now those people I have encountered, they might have felt they were deprived to speak up and to be listened to, because they were not given the venue. I am inspired to listen more and talk less this time. I might not know, what others need is just to be listened to, just like what I have experienced.

It also dawned on me that though my cause is important, and I feel it is something huge, there are also pressing needs at hand, like mothers lobbying for help from LGUs for their children who are battling for their lives, elderly who asks for medical assistance, and so on, who, for me, need attention and fast action from the government as compared to me. This quota can wait.

I have been used to giving, that is why I find it hard to ask from others. And now I have learned the beauty of asking, admitting that I do not have much and that I need others to fill in the deficiencies I have.

God’s goodness, the people’s generosity, the outpour of love and support, the contagious goodness of people cannot be encompassed in an essay or reflection. I wanted to write something that will give others the idea on how it is and how it impact me, transforming me to become a better person, but I guess it is not meant to be felt through reading my story, it is meant for one to experience it to appreciate the beauty of it all.

I will leave Bacolod for SSYEAP with much bliss, so much that I can hardly contain. I did not know how much I am loved until I went through this recent process. God knows how much I am thankful of each person who made all this possible. Yes, reaching a dream is difficult, but if you have people who help you achieve it, it is like getting a guava fruit from its tree.

P.S. thank you Bago City, my hometown, for the support :) kudos to our officials.

thank you University of St. La Salle for rallying behind my back.

truly, God is seldom early but He is never late, and through these intitutions, much of my quota was realized :)
friends, i cannot thank you enough; i can only ask God to bless you unceasingly. thank you!

Thank you Lord, I know you truly love me.

malou :)

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37th SSEAYP Journey: My baby steps

SSEAYP: Ship for Southeast Asian Youth Program

2007, I was an exchange student in South Korea, taking up Korean studies, when a roommate shared with me her dream of joining SSEAYP. I did not realize why she is that thrilled to share with us about her dream until I checked it in the web and there, when I learned about the program, it was a love-at-first-sight-encounter, yes; I readily fell in love with it.

2008, I came home to the Philippines bringing that dream to apply for the program but I did not act on it yet. I have taken some career moves and was working in getting my old life back; a lot had changed since I left the country and I have to iron things out to gain stability.

2009, I landed the kind of job I have always hoped to have, the one inclined to helping the children and the youth. At the same time, I enrolled in law school thinking that one of the best ways to help people in the community is to know their rights.

2010, I claimed that it will be a great year for me. I took a concrete step to realize my SSEAYP dream. I guess when you think the time is right, you just heed on. I went through the application process, the nitty-gritty. Waiting for the result was something I never want to go through again. Truly, waiting for something and not knowing to do because everything else will be dependent on the result, is just so difficult to bear. That time, I was attending classes; my University through our Dean has been so supportive of this pursuit to the point that they just allowed me to attend classes even without enrolling until I would know the result.

I was 100% percent ready to succeed and equally ready to fail. Yes, I prepared for both scenarios; best and worst. I have learned much from waiting; after all it is more than a wait. It was more like a very enriching experience that honed me to become a better person.

And I am very much relieved upon knowing that I made it. Indeed, the waiting proved to pay off. I cannot thank God for bringing me a step closer to that once seemingly distant dream. I am elated to know that it is finally within reach.

I and the other 27 youths representing all the regions of the country, and our National Leader, have finally met during the scheduled 10-day Pre-Departure Training (PDT) in Manila. I cannot contain the bliss I feel meeting such great people! Funny thing was, upon learning what everyone is doing in their respective communities or organizations, the things they have initiated and accomplished, I then questioned myself why I was there. I truly admire my kabagis and our Mommy Jing.

The PDT gave a clear idea on what to expect and what to do during the SSEAYP proper. Simulations and sharing of SSEAYP experiences, initiated by the PDT team together with the help of the PPY’s of Batch 2009, made it a lot easier for us to understand the beauty of the whole program.

On the PDT, I have refuted some of the things I have heard from others. Most of the people have this notion that SSEAYP is all about talent shows and tour. The program is too far to fall on those notions, for if it were, we need not go through the rigorous process of PDT and other steps there is to be a Philippine Participating Youth (PPY).

On a personal note, my experiences on PDT taught me to listen. For someone who talks a lot like me, listening is usually (though unconsciously) taken for granted. I have acknowledged that everyone in the group has something good to share and for me to hear that, I have to give way. I have learned the beauty of compromise that I have to sometimes bend to blend. Now more than ever, one has to act in consonance with the group, it is all about the team; the beauty of oneness shines the brightest.

My Pangkat Sulo (our Batch name), is all worth the sacrifices I have made and the opportunities I have let go. I can feel the warmth of love we all share. We draw inspiration from each other. That is why it was emotionally difficult for us to go back to our respective places after the PDT. On a lighter note, I went home with full of hope for a better Philippines because I have just met real people who strive to make a difference in their own concrete ways towards nation building. I feel blessed that I was affirmed, truly, we have all the reasons to look forward to a Philippines that we all deserve.

And the real challenge has just begun when we started to raise funds for our group. As I write now, I am still on the process of meeting my quota. I am very optimistic that I can raise the money needed but positivism isn’t enough at times. Going to LGUs and approaching private companies and individuals for the financial assistance is never easy. I sometimes want to cry out of frustration when upon reading my letter; decline is all in there for an answer. I even wonder why it is so difficult for the LGUs to give support for such a program like this. Questions started to flood me until I pacified myself by this thought: “Everything has to go through a process. You cannot get things in a snap.” This calls to mind the waiting-for-the-SSEAYP-result-scene; again the virtue of PATIENCE and PERSEVERANCE are impressed upon me.

I know it could have been made a lot easier for us BUT if it were, we will never see the beauty of this all. This is meant to bring out the best in us and I will not deprive myself of the learning I can get out of this.

The previous batches are our inspiration, they made it, no doubt we will too! This is just the start, quitting is never an option for us.

PANGKAT SULO, KEEP THE TORCH BURNING!

malou

08/28/10

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Hopeless Case?

we are all ambassadors of the country, whatever we show, how great or worst may it be, is reflected to our country.
not everyone in the world have visited and stayed in the Philippines to have a clear picture of who we are as a people, most often they make the Filipinos they encounter as their basis as to who we are and what kind country do we have.
i am quite bothered by how we act on the crises that we face and how we handle the misfortunes of our fellowmen.
we have grown so expressive of what we feel, that we just blurt our thought on that certain moment without realizing its impact to us all.
the technology should work for us and should not be the other way around.
in just a click away, everybody knows our lot.
i am not saying that we always put up a good image even to the point of concealing the reality. no, i am not for that.
what i am trying to say is, yes, we acknowledge what happened and we readily act on it. should we clamor, we have to be responsible to offer solutions for it.
what is happening now is that, the exchanges we have on the different social networking sites create a hopeless mood enveloped by mistrust, disappointment, disgust and even fury.
we are Filipinos, we are resilient and we sure can surpass this like any other major adversities we faced in the past.

it is my prayer that we choose to foster a feeling of hope rather than entertaining an array of negative feelings that creates no good to us as a nation.
should we just allow ourselves to be drowned by shame, humiliation and anger which was triggered by the incompetence of some authorities? we should not.
why should we allow negative feelings creep in our systems? you may have forgotten, we have some other thousand better options, let's choose it.

we are Filipinos for a reason. one thing is certain to me, we are not here to put this country into shame. please do your share.
you are looking forward to a BETTER PHILIPPINES huh? it's time to translate that hope into action by starting IN YOU the change you want to see. now, if all you know is to clamor, you DO NOT REALLY have the right to demand and expect something good.

if you are ashamed of our lot, of being a Filipino, of having to live here: then you can just leave the country anytime.

we do not need people who drag us rather than boost us.

yes, there was a crisis yesterday brought about by the desolate hostage-taker who was dealt by the incompetent police, to which the whole scene was covered by insensitive media, which surprisingly showed how the oblivious bystanders swarmed the area because there was no crowd contol. tskk..tsk..tsk.. your negative feelings are valid, but for now, the best move is to move forward. let's bring the learning we have from this and make this a better nation.
God bless the Philippines and the Filipinos!

Lou

08/24/10

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Surprisingly! the other side of me.

I am no magnet; when we are opposites, I simply repel!

Our differences can work for us or against us. We can use it to complement each other or it could be a strong point of irreconcilable conflict among us.

I do not play hypocrites, if I do not like you, I really don’t. =)
I am like a typhoon, I come out so strong. In reality, I am a cry-baby; it’s just that I do not cry for lame reasons.

Some people want to be like masters; wanting to tame everyone by the ways they think best.
You have your box? I do have mine too. Don’t you ever dare to put me inside your box, that’s futile pursuit, I’ll NEVER fit!

One thing is clear with me, I am not and I will never be in a good position to argue with anyone pertaining to his culture. How can I question someone’s way of life? That is his individuality and there is no rational basis to favor one’s drastic argument against such.

Do not expect everyone to think the way you do. We have different levels of intellectual wave lengths.
Do not rub in things that are already given or simply, do not state the obvious.

One of the best favors you could do to yourself is - know where to situate yourself. Back off when you are not needed. Do not push yourself into something that will make you appear like a “detractor”.

When you are not called, maybe you are not needed.
Your sacrifices are your own making; it is unfair to put on the burden of it to others’ shoulders.
Your networks do not define who you are.

If you want to insult someone and you plan to keep it from the person, be sure your actions do not flaunt it. Your evil laugh spells it all.

My admiration goes to the people who have already achieved and accomplished so much but they remain humble; humility here is not keeping what they have achieved rather they share it with others, without any air of arrogance.

Is it all about your experiences? Not because you experienced something “big”, you now have all the right to make others feel small. Your experiences can help others have an idea on what to expect, but it is not a determining factor to shape the future happenings. tsk..tsk..tsk..

This is absurd and impossible, but say, we went through THE SAME process. Still, our experiences will never be the same! The people we are with, the way we see the process, and the way it impact us, are just a few that will make it different.

Why do it the hard, harsh way when there is a better, peaceful one?

Are you really concerned or you just want to make even?

Your approach on things gives us the idea of the kind of person you are.

What I like being “me” is that - at the end of the day, I have people who truly accept me for who I am. To my surprise, there are many of them, much more than the number I thought could put up with me. I am relieved and overwhelmed at the same time.

I hate dramas; otherwise, I took acting as a job.

I would rather be with a non-sense than with an inhuman.

I can forgive kids when they are rude and subjective, but never the adults.

When leaders come together, do you expect silence?
(unless of course if they are leaders in silence..hehe)

No amount of good tone can cover rudeness.

Do not expect others to embrace your preferences. Should they shun your ideas, never feel bad, you are not in the position to do so.

Studying in Antarctica or Timbuktu does not make you so great as a person. Yeah, keeping silent about it is the best thing you could do. ^__^ but hey, share your learning with others too. Could you please do it in a nice way?

Being civil is the last best option to do when dealing with the one you just want to swallow alive. :)

Compromise is the best option left at times.

If you have insomnia or you want to believe that you have one, please be kind to others; do not deprive them of their sleep.

Beware when I give you balloons! That only means - you got too much air in your head. You need to release all the air you have before you burst due to your own making.

I empty my head, you empty yours too.

What is good in crossing paths with the good and bad ones? You get a glimpse of who you will most likely become should you choose anyone of their sorts. I know now, I definitely do not want to be a witch like the one I have just met. ^____^

I only remember two kinds of people, the best and the worst.

I have emptied my cup again.
It’s already dawn and I cannot sleep, thus, these were all written. Shocks, these are full of angst. Hay. Haha.

August 6

p.s. i was just thinking of 3 people when i wrote this.
yes, may pinanggagalingan..hehe

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Goodbye Sweet 23 and Welcome Sweeter 24

time flies so fast.
life's pretty dynamic.
some things change in a snap.
before i know it, i am already 24.
what's with the age anyway?
well to some, it means a lot.
i remembered that i have been wanting to apply as a volunteer in an international volunteer organization but i was not able to make it because i was too young then.
i needed to be at least 24 to qualify.
in an hour or two, i will turn that age, but i have changed plans already.
the desire to help is always there. it is one passion that remains in me come what may.

i am pretty confident that being 24 will open a lot of venues for personal and career growth.
i am not too young nor too old.
i am just at the right age to explore more and learn more.

God has been so generous for the past 23 years of my life.
i cannot thank Him enough for everything He has bestowed me.
i am so blessed that i cannot contain it anymore within, i have to give this away.
may i be a blessing to others.

to my friends and family,
thank you for believing when i doubted.
thank you for the encouragements when i was hopeless.
thank you for seeing the good when i was too engrossed with the bad.
thank you for reaching out when i was running away.
thank you for being the light when i was in darkness.
thank you for the understanding when i was closed-minded and stubborn.
thank you for putting up with me. (i already have an idea how hard it is.)haha
thank you for appreciating my existence.

may God unceasingly bless you all.
may He keep you safe at all times and may He give you more patience to last a lifetime of friendship with me.

malou^^

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Chill

some realizations i had recently:
-i can only become a better person if i allow my learning to be put into application.

-some people stereotype "talkers" as "non-thinkers", i thought it is so unfair for someone who talks a lot, like me, but is also thinking hard at the same time.

-some people would always doubt the goodness you show. hmmm, they might not be used to it, i bet. :)

-some people are just so subjective. they want their way on things even if it means putting others down by taking matters personally. that's mean.

-some are too overwhelmed with their past that they can hardly move on and move forward. they think that they are the only ones who know everything; when people raise queries, it's as if their authority is being questioned. tsk..tsk..tsk..

-we cannot count against others the very qualities that make them distinct from the rest. we cannot just put others in our predefined boxes.we cannot tag a person to be "bad" simply because they do not exhibit the attitude or character that we want to see from them.

-it is not the fault of the assertive if those quiet ones were not able to air out their points. i believe that when we want to drive a point, by all means, we will convey it to the group concerned.

-the transformation of a person cannot be accounted to the efforts of others; if one changed, it's not because of anyone else, but solely because of that person concerned, he made a conscious effort to change for the better.

-it's good to note that due process does not only exist in courts, for if it had been strictly observed otherwise, i might not be where i am now. i was judged unfairly and thank God, there are people who value explanations. i am very happy that there are still a lot of open-minded people who hear first before jumping into conclusion.

-demanding something from others which is beyond their capacity to produce such, and trying to implement the "rules" rigidly without rational basis, are the most absurd encounters i ever had so far. that is so irrational and unreasonable for someone to come up with rules out of whims. it's more absurd for one who imposes the rule to expect that no one would question it. stress! ^^

-we are all different. we need to compromise to blend. we cannot at all times reason out that because we are naturally like this or that, then people will have to understand us. there would come a time when we let go of what we have been used to, in order for us to embrace the better or even the best ones.

-it is futile to make an issue out of a resolved case.

-sometimes, the best option is to just shut up or just stay at the side and say nothing, just observe.

-there will always be a nice way to impose discipline on the subjects. there is what they call - discipline without punishment. discipline is NEVER synonymous to harshness.

-what matters to me above anything else is, the relationship i have with people whom i care much. i have swallowed my pride and i have let go of my way on things just to accommodate what's best for those i care for.

-i choose my battles well. i fight until the very end, but i have learned to let go of some of it, not because i am afraid but i am just courageous enough to accept that it's not something worthy to be entertained in the first place.

-simulations are always efficient ways to learn and experience things that are to be expected.

-people who are being questioned have always thought that the ones raising queries are rude. i'd better zip my mouth then.hehe

-we approach and perceive things differently. thus, there is no way that our experiences would be the same to that of others. it is alright to suggest but NEVER impose your ideas. putting others in your predefined boxes could prove to be the worst undermining you could ever do to them.

-people are good at faking. it's either they fake good or fake bad. we can never conclude one's character unless we get to experience living or at least spend much time with the person.

-it's not easy to redeem your bad reputation as "antagonist" in the story by just explaining, "hey, it's just part of the script". one is not that dumb to just digest anything that you say. your actions mirror who you really are as a person. ^__^

-some people are just so unlovable. loving them and accepting them for who they are, require tons of effort. well, if it is too hard, don't push it.



-respect begets respect. how then can you expect respect to be given to you if you have failed to show it to others you are dealing with?

-one major flaw of facilitators is to impose their ideas when all they need to do is to- listen to the ideas shared, take note of it, paraphrase it and raise clarifications when necessary.

-we can be too emotional at times that it defeats the process we ought to observe.

-everyone learns from each other. there are things that we know that others don't, and otherwise.

-emotional investment proves to be the strongest foundation in any relationship. sharing yourself through your story gives others a better understanding of who you are and why you are acting the way you do.

-one's age is never a measure of one's maturity. some might have experienced much and yet, have not truly learned and matured. :))

-a mother's love supersedes any love there is; it's genuine, always yields to what's best for her children.

-despite the differences people have, unity is still attainable.

-everyone has something good to share.

-people complement each other. the differences in people's personalities are meant to make the team more cohesive. can you just imagine if everyone's personality is the same? there might be no need of relating to each other. the differences we have are like gaps which are being bridged by our relationship with each other. we extend ourselves to meet the rest halfway.

-as much as possible, avoid extremes. don't talk much nor be silent.

-if you can do a task, no matter how difficult it may be to you, by all means do it. your excuses may be taken so hard against you. eyes are on you, comments and criticisms are handy, ready to be given away any time you'll make a flaw.

-it is never a fault to assert for your right. being submissive here is a no-no!

more than the responsibility we have for others, we have the responsibility to our very selves. we should not let others bypass our rights. we should not allow anyone, no matter how powerful that person may be, to step on our rights.

-some are blinded by their self-serving ideals and standards.

-bragging rights is really worth bragging? hmmmm. i wonder.hehe

-no one is to be blamed, except yourself, by the actions you consciously made.

-i am not the only one who believes that this country will turn into 1st world soon. there is a bunch of young people who are going out their way to realize such dream. yehey! :))

-youthfulness is a gift that everyone has to savor. we should not let others discourage us. we remain idealistic and hopeful, may we translate our aspirations to concrete actions. AMEN.

-i submit, only to those worthy of my submission. training is not meant to make the participants act like robots, it has always this goal to bring out the best from everyone.

p.s. with the recent training i had, i felt i was transformed in so many ways. i love the group so much that i am willing to address my personal issues. i have moved on from it and is willing to put into application my learning, but i just feel the need to jot down my realizations so as to keep my sanity. haha (p.s. this is my concrete way of emptying my cup)^____^

till here,
more to come undoubtedly.
lovelove,
malou

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Some Notes while Waiting

few days from now, i'd know on which direction to heed, what decision to take.
i do not exactly know what i'm feeling right now.
i am hopeful and at the same time anxious, apprehensive.
what if i will not make it to SSEAYP?
will regrets flood me?
if i will not make it, i'd face it head on.
but should i really fail on this pursuit,
i'd rather wish it could have been told to me much sooner so that by now, i could have already moved on.

again, i feel the need to say this, WAITING AND NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO is much more difficult than being told that i FAILED. in the latter, i just have to again make a game plan to live out while in the former, everything is uncertain and it kills me to know that I DO NOT HAVE ANY CLUE, I DO NOT HAVE CONTROL ON THINGS; that, simply I DO NOT KNOW MUCH. (now this is a bruised ego issue) :))

was all the wait worth it?
I want to believe YES!
waiting for this SSEAYP result has truly taught me PATIENCE in its truest sense.

PURSUING A DREAM:
requires waiting, i learned PATIENCE.
requires letting go of other opportunities, i learned ACCEPTANCE.
requires decision making, i learned PRUDENCE.
requires eagerness and enthusiasm for better days ahead, i learned HOPE and OPTIMISM.
admitting that i am not in control of everything, i learned HUMILITY.
praying and entrusting my fate to my creator, i learned FAITH.

with all these, i can never be in a position capable of fostering a feeling of regret should i not make it.

to God be the glory!

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*Confused*

this is it!
this is the beginning of the end of law school for me.
i have doubts as to continue.
maybe it is true- i entered law school haphazardly.

i do not belong to law school.
i have to think it all over again.

if i love law school much, why do i even have thoughts of quitting?
if i see myself as a lawyer someday, then why don't i study diligently?
if this is for me, then why all things do not conspire with me?

the answer is in me.
there is lacking in me. i have to go. i have to wander, explore for it.
when i am ready, i will go back to its bosom again.

will i ever go back?
let's see.

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I Want TO See The World Out There

i feel that i am too young to get stuck here;
the travel bug starts to creep on me.
so this year, i will wander.
it's better to claim it now lest the dream will vanish.

some things linger and some don't;
i'd better start entertaining those once in a life time opportunities.
i can just let go of the present preoccupations for a bright and fun-filled experience.
i want to travel and no one can stop me.
traveling is indeed the best learning experience and i can't wait to do it!

may God Bless me.
aja!
wonder-wander

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bacolod traffic situation sucks and it's all because of...

what do you think can we do with our traffic problems in bacolod? kabalan drivers who just park anywhere and stop at the middle of the road to pick some passengers. kabalan drivers who smoke inside the jeepney despite the "no smoking" signange. kabalan drivers who makes "pa-ugat" in the corners of the city to get more people. kabalan drivers who drive recklessly. kabalan drivers who stay on the left lane when they won't even turn left; who take U-turn even when it's prohibited!...it does not stop there, we also have lenient and inconsistent traffic enforcers! and non-law abiding patrons of kabalan drivers! yay!>

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Presidential Candidates^^

Last Prelim exam, one of the questions I asked my NSTP class is, if they are given the chance to vote on 2010 Elections, who will they vote as President and why?

i have 45 students all in all:

9 are for VILLAR,
4 for GIBO,
4 for CHIZ,
there is this one who still wrote MAR ROXAS,
10 for NOYNOY,
and i am so astonished because the remaining---
17 are for NINOY! (isn't he dead?)

anyway, i want to believe that they are referring to NONOY...
how can they choose a presidential candidate who is already dead, right?

by the way, the exam was last December 12, before other candidates filed their candidacies.

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