Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Current Realities

In life, we get to come across several realities. Well it is basically up to us whether we accept it as our reality or not. In my case, I am pretty much of mixed emotions as far as the new realities I am into are concerned. One thing I have to learn I guess is, realities remain to be realities and I cannot be in control of the whole pace it’ll will heed however I am here, in constant control of whatever I should feel with all these things and changes happening around me.

I might be in perpetual awe of the sudden changes that are happening around but I get to ponder that it wouldn’t really bother me much or let’s say, affect me unless I permit it to permeate my very own system.

It has been a cliché that change is the only constant in this world. Well it sure is. And now I am beset with yet another two major changes that I have now accepted to be fitting to call “realities”. First, the apartment reality which was prompted by my go-back-to-school-reality. If I try to assess it, I won’t be able to justify my moving out to a new space hadn’t I made a decision to be back to school again.

It’s silly of me to make use of the “ample” time I have now in choosing to study something I am not sure I wanted in the first place. The main reason I got myself enrolled is, I have much time after work, so many unjustified leisure time I have been enjoying in the past year. Plus, I cannot afford to just level up in work experience and haven’t leveled up my credentials in education. I cannot believe this, now I am eating up all my words in the past. I said I do not want to be entrapped with this silliness of the world that after getting a bachelor’s degree, one “should” get masters if not m.b.a then grab the doctorate A.S.A.P. when before it is just an option for the diligent ones who do not have anything to do but to study, now it is unfortunately making its way to the “NEEDS LIST”. Ugh!

Going back to my recent move of getting law, let me lay my justifications. Well, you can actually end it here if you are not interested to know.^^

Time. I have much of it now and I want to spend it productively by enduring painstakingly the bulk of cases, articles, notes, etc. I will study on starting Monday.

The next one sounds absurd but painfully true. If I take masters and successfully graduate from it, people then will most likely ask where I have gotten my degree. Whereas, if I take up law and be fortunate to succeed in the bar exam, I become a lawyer right away and get to attach this pronounced ATTY., right before my name. Needless to explain where I have studied law, all they care and know is,
I am a lawyer. As to what school you’ve been taught, that doesn’t matter anymore; the important thing is I passed the bar. As early as now, I am actually in jitters with that bar exam they are saying. I get to ask myself now, what are my chances to pass the bar, my reflex answer for it is, slim.

Third, people have opened the idea of me getting masters degree in my field instead, psychology. Well, sadly I am still in love with my work and I cannot afford to leave to get it somewhere outside my box, especially with the bitter fact that I will be sending myself to school. I will continue to be in love with my work until I get a very good scholarship abroad.:)

The university offers only guidance and counseling as master’s degree in Psychology. Can you imagine me acting as guidance counselor later on? If you can’t, let me give you the picture I have imagined I would be. Yes, I would still be that very bubbly, blah..blah..blah..person who will assert what she thinks is the right thing to do in a given situation not minding to give a pause, the main goal is…convey the point even how many times it will take going around the bush. haha see? And you want to know what will most likely happen to my poor counselee? Chances are, he will commit suicide because all the counseling time has been consumed solely by myself…instead of him being listened to, it’s the opposite…haha!

I want to be of service to others and with the knowledge I have of my personality, it would be insensitive of me to push myself to guidance and counseling.

Well the last and the best reason why I heeded to take law is the fact that I want to engage in a work that is inclined to social/community developments. So I thought that I will be able to carry that objective of helping others efficiently and effectively by knowing the people’s rights. amen to that.

I could have all the time in the world to justify my recent moves but I guess I need not do that. I just realized that the reason why I am doing this is the fact that I need an outlet, an outlet that when I dare to read all over again, somewhat I would be relieved, making myself believe that after all, I picked and heed on to the right choices. And the realities I am into are but fitting for me to go through.

siquijor, i just love!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Stress Relieving Realizations

1. I've come to realize that my boobs...
- are just bigger for my liking...it concerns me the way i am concerned and conscious of my eye bags.

2. I've come to realize that my job...
- is the kind of work i want to be doing; despite better opportunities that have popped lately, i have managed to stay.

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...
-my father is just haunted with so many fears..haha..plus, i am uncertain whether i can manage to bring the car back at home without any damages; i'm still in jitters and i need more practice.

4. I've come to realize that I need...
- to adjust myself to new routines that i'd be adapting come monday...back-to-school-mode plus full-time work preoccupations.

5. I've come to realize that I've lost...
weight? (feeler) well, yeah..when i was in korea i was 60 kgs but now i am just...5...secret!haha

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
- i look at the mirror and get to see my pronounced eye bags flaunting..grhhhh...

7. I've come to realize that the person I like...
- is someone who can put up a very sensible conversation with me..

8. I've come to realize that money...
- is something that can shape people's attitude and character...the seemingly angel-like person can actually unleash his/her evil side because of greed for money. *sayang*

9. I've come to realize that people...
- tend to rationalize things to justify their unjustifiable acts.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always be...
- crazy, bubbly, talkative with sense..yeah, i like it, talkative with sense and not noisy..na-ah, not noisy.

12. I've come to realize that my mom...
- is someone i owe a lot. we might have clashes from time to time brought by our differences, still she's the only mother i've got.. i don't have the choice but to accept this wonderful fact..haha.. love you mama charit! :)

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone...
- has been with me for five years now. it survived countless storms and tornadoes.. *drama*

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...
- i still have a lot of last-minute-packing-up to do since i'll be moving out from the house today... so many things to do but it seems so less time there is to realize everything. :'(

15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep...
- i felt the need to kiss my very cute nephew kram, and be resolved to the fact that they'll be sleeping on my bed so i needed to get an extra foam and lay it on the floor. poor me... *sniffs*

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about...
- the risks and consequences of entering law school this monday.

17. I've come to realize that my dad...
- is after all not perfect..though undoubtedly, he has been a great father that he can be to me.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...
- i can't just resist checking on updates and other stuff i felt i ought to know.

19. I've come to realize that today...
- is the start of my "law school reality"; the orientation gave me a mixed feeling actually. i attended the orientation feeling lost and i went home still feeling lost.. *malou looks around*

20. I've come to realize that tonight...
- i will be sleeping in my new space...my "apartment reality" officially starts tonight.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow will be...
- father's day and i felt the need to be home to greet papa personally.

22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
- take a massage in a spa coz i felt i am so stressed..oh, i need makeover too..whew!
i might not have much time later on to dwell on these kinds of stuff.

24. I've come to realize that life...
- has its perfect ways of teasing us. just when you thought you are already resolved to the fact of where you are and what you do; greater opportunities will come and confuse you, yet you still opt to stay where you are.

25. I've come to realize that this weekend...
-marks so much change in my life for the next years.. moving out to a new house, orientation in law school, finishing the new teaching material of EGC..

26. I've come to realize that my ex(es)...
- made me feel i was really loved by him when we were still together; i just don't know when, how and why he cheated on me...haha
*malou thinks it's pointless to confirm the alleged cheating that her ex committed*

27. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset...
- is JAI HO!lol

28. I've come to realize that my friends...
- are those who got the nerves to stay with me despite my being "psycho" at times.

29. I've come to realize that the past year (2008)...
- has been a humbling experience for me... i learned that though i might have plans for myself, God has way better and way greater plans for me... and there is no way that His will won't overpower mine.

30. I've come to realize that the last person i kissed...
- has once been special to me. *malou wonders if others are interested to know* chikadora!lol

31. I've come to realize that when people walk out of my life...
- there is no way i can force them to come back unless they do it voluntarily... others' opinion is beyond my control and there is no way i can manipulate them on what to do.

Friday, June 5, 2009

I Am Guilty for Being Innocent

RULE 1
You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2
You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
(So people reading this, if you want an explanation.. PLEASE comment, hahaha.)
Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your notes , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag 20 of your friends to answer this. Then see what happens.
--

Asked someone to marry you?
innocent

Kissed one of your Facebook friends?
innocent

Danced on a table in a bar?
innocent

Ever told a lie?
guilty

Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back?
guilty

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?
guilty

Kissed a picture?
guilty

Slept in until 5 PM?
guilty

Fallen asleep at work/school?
guilty

Held a snake?
guilty

Been suspended from school?
innocent

Worked at a fast food restaurant?
innocent

Stolen from a store?
innocent

Been fired from a job?
innocent

Done something you regret?
guilty

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
guilty

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
guilty

Kissed in the rain?
innocent

Sat on a roof top?
guilty

Kissed someone you shouldn't?
innocent

Sang in the shower?
guilty

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
innocent

Shaved your head?
innocent

Slept naked?
innocent

Had a boxing membership?
innocent

Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
guilty?

Been in a band?
innocent

Shot a gun?
innocent

Donated Blood?
guilty

Eaten alligator meat?
innocent

Eaten cheesecake?
guilty

Still love someone you shouldn't?
innocent

Have/had a tattoo?
innocent

Liked someone, but will never tell who?
innocent

Been too honest?
guilty

Ruined a surprise?
guilty

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you cant walk afterwards?
guilty

Erased someone in your friends list?
guilty

Dressed in a woman's clothes (if your a guy) or man's clothes (if your a girl)?
guilty

Joined a pageant?
innocent

Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?
guilty

Had communication w/ your ex?
innocent

DATING Someone?
innocent

Get totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning?
innocent


A total stranger treat you by paying your jeepney fare?
guilty

Get totally angry that you cried so hard?
guilty
whew!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

100 truths i never had hard time admitting

100 Truths! After you've filled this out, tag people and have them do the same.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, copy and paste this note, erase my answers and enter your own, tag people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. Last beverage: do the dew, mountain dew

2. Last phone call: michael, Project YES

3. Last text message: the person isn't in my phonebook. one thing's certain he/she is from Proj YES

4. Last song you listened to: love story of swift... whew! good thing it isn't jai ho..haha

5. Last time you cried: can't remember.

HAVE U EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: yeah

7. Been cheated on: maybe

8. Kissed someone & regretted it: nope

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Been depressed: yes

11. Been drunk: nope

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS
12. green

13. green

14. green

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU…
15. Made new friends: luckily yes..haha

16. Fallen out of love: yes! (relieved*)

17. Laughed until you cried: always

18. Met someone who changed you: maybe but i am not conscious of, i suppose

19. Found out who your true friends were: yeah

20. Found out someone was talking about you: well yeah.

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: na-ah

TRUTH
23. How many kids do you want to have: 2-5

24. Do you have any pets: none

25. Do you want to change your name: sometimes.

26. What did you do for your last birthday: pondered.^^

27. What time did you wake up today: 8:00am

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping.

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: to be part of UN

30. Last time you saw your father: this morning.

31. What are the things you wish you could change about your life: a couple of it. decisions made and circumstance i am not in control of.

32. What are you listening to right now: none.. but if you ask me what i am hearing now, it's the noise around.

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah, one of my students last year. oh, i miss him.

34. What's getting on your nerves right now: the everyday encounter i have with stubborn drivers not observing the traffic rules.grrrrrrrrrr...

35. Music or sports: music in action..haha

36. What’s your real name: MA. LOURDES EUDELA

38. Zodiac sign: aquarius

39. Male or female: female with the strength of male..hehe, in short half akech..hehe

40. Elementary School: J.L. Araneta

41. High School: Holy Family

42. University/College: La Salle

43. Hair color: Black

44. Long or short: Short

45. Height: 5' 2"

46. Do you have a crush on someone: now? yeah.

47. What do you like about yourself: personality

48. Piercings: yeah

49. Tattoos: None and i am not planning to have one.

50. Righty or lefty: right! right!

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: n/a

53. First piercing: ears.

54. First best friend: ediebelle

55. First sport you joined: volleyball.

56. First vacation: baguio

58. First pet: a fish

59. First concert: don moen in lasal with my family

60. First alcohol drink: wine

RIGHT NOW
61. Eating: buko pie of bob's cafe, thanks odyssey for your generosity.

62. Drinking: nothing

63. I'm about to: move to the next number and answer it

64. Listening to: people's conversation

65. Waiting for: off from work.

YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids?: definitely!

67. Married?: *crossing my fingers

68. Career?: community dev't.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
69. Lips or eyes: eyes

70. Hugs or kisses: pwede both?

71. Shorter or taller: taller.

72. Older or Younger: older.

73. Romantic or spontaneous: romantically spontaneous...haha (note:jep, gin suli ko lang)

74. Nice stomach or nice arms: nice arms to embrace me..lol

75. Tattoos or piercings: piercing.

76. Sensitive or loud: sensitively loud.^^

77. Hook-up or relationship: relationship.

78. Trouble maker or hesitant: none of the two.

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: not YET (may plan...haha)

77. Drank hard liquor: nope

78. Lost glasses/contacts: yes, glasses

79. Sex on first date: a big NO!

80. Broken someone's heart: maybe?

81. Had your own heart broken: yep.

82. Been arrested: for what?

83. Turned someone down: yo!

84. Cried when someone died: YES.

85. Fallen for a friend?: nope.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: if i won't, then who?

87. Miracles: the fact that i am able to answer this is such a miracle!

88. Love at first sight: possible but i have not experienced such.

89. Heaven: i claim that there is.

90. Santa Claus: yeah in the persons of my parents.

91. Kiss on the first date: almost.

92. Angels: yeah though not all are in white and with halo.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Is there one person you want to be with right now: yes.

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: not my game.

95. Do you believe it’s possible to remain faithful forever: why not?

96. Ever cheated on somebody?: nope.

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: as far as it's allowed.

98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: i can't recall the specific date but that one when i visited sentosa in singapore. twa's fun, fun, fun and i guess it could have been more fun, fun, fun if i get to relive it. :)

99. Heaven or Hell: HEAVEN!

100. What's the one thing you cannot live without: OXYGEN!^^