One with the Season

and so i am flying back home.. i am so elated about it.

though i did not expect to be home for christmas.

i have been in singapore for just three weeks now and i have programmed myself to spend christmas here.

i and my roommates have even thought on how to spend the holidays!

however, the idea of spending christmas with my family is so hard to resist and since i was not able to spend it with them last year..now will be two years in a row..i have within me the desire to really be one with my family this christmas season..now that we are celebrating it with a wonderful add, my nephew, kram.

when i and papa talked two days ago, he told me to join the family on christmas. could it be a joke? what could have my sister told papa of for him to decide such? i wonder. but my sister assured me that papa just plainly wants me to be home on christmas.

we are not rich and so i knew it’ll be again a huge expense for him to incur..another round trip ticket for me so that i can continue my dream of getting outside my box and find my niche’ out of the comfort zone. they have to sacrifice some stuff they ought to have just to give way to what my plans are.

i felt so guilty that i can’t help but to cry so hard as i talked with papa. if i am to describe how hard i cried, it’s like i can fill a pail with the overflowing tears.

i asked him, “aren’t you tired of me?” because it seems that all this time, i have just thought of myself..pursuing whatever that pops into my mind.

he told me i was so silly to think about such.

he quipped, “i am your father, God made me to be with you to support you all the way, whatever plans you have..i am your supporter.”

with that, i cried harder.

i cannot contain it anymore. should i be glad or what?

all this time, i was so selfish, just thinking of pursuing just anything that will come up to me.

he said, “our life is a journey, we have trials along the way..never give up and just be strong.”

he added, “you have to be strong because i also draw strength from you. you should be the one who is telling me what to do and not me who’ll tell you what to do”

oh..papa has always uplifting words in handy. he says it at the right time. just when i needed one, there is.

he said, “worry not, i will take care whatever that is that has to be paid for the next trip. let me handle it.”

“but you owe me one thing” he mused.

“you owe stories, so you have to be home.”


for a few seconds he has not heard from me but only the cries..

then, they put the phone into loudspeaker and so my family did things that would make me smile.. i appreciate my family more than ever.

as i went back to the room,

i am still crying as i realized how blessed i am to have a great family.

some things according to the standards i have set were not met and that made me upset and sometimes making me unappreciative with what life throws at me.

i am really feeling guilty because i have not given due recognition and appreciation to the very treasure i have since birth-my family.

now, i might clamor over things that come my way but i’d rather zip it.

because, looking at the whole picture, i do not really have the right to complain.

i have been blessed with so much and all i have to do is be thankful for such blessing and bliss i have been bestowed of!

to God be the glory!

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Q and A

1.why people search those that can’t be seen around. why do we always love to look for those unavailable? say when we are eating something, we tend to have an appetite for those food that are not around. or when we are with our friends, we look for people or someone who are/is not around?

basically we look for something that isn’t around and that is just but normal. how can we look for something that our naked eyes can cover? so will you look for a cake when it is laid in front of you? we tend to look for more because we are insatiable. we desire more, more than what is with us at the moment. and looking for something not seen within our radius has been innate to other people’s system.

2.why is it difficult to appreciate those people while we are with them? why we get to know the importance of loved ones or others when we are far from them?

well, we have this notion that we always have them come what may. it has been a part of our routines to see them. thus, we aren’t get thrilled by their presence. they are just there, that is it. we don’t feel the need to say words of appreciation to them simply because we find it to be “corny”.

when we are far from our loved ones or those not seemingly close to us, there we would find their significance in our lives. we then learn to “miss” them. we long for those times that we have built memories with them. distance never fails to make our hearts yearn for those times spent with them and we hope that sometime soon, we will be able to make it happen again.

3.why do people leave their comfort zone?

they leave the comfort zone because they have dreams to pursue that cannot be realized within the said zone. huge opportunities are often found outside the box. in addition, people wanted to face more challenging endeavors which will make them grow personally and career-wise .

comfort zone appears to be too suffocating that some cannot stand the idea to stay there for long. the world offers much and the only way to grab those would be that one will have to leave his comforts.

4.why people risk for some things that do not  actually guarantee fruitful results? who are those who are those who engage on such?

to risk is synonymous to gamble. when we gamble, we are in the arena of uncertainty. people risk because they yearn for the better or best of things compared to what they currently have.

risk takers are not only those who are brave, a few of those who take risks are actually yellow-bellied. some take risks consciously and there are those who take it for the heck of having something to heed on. but in most cases, those who are daring, bold and adventurous take risks because they want to savor life to its fullest. i guess those people who basically knew that life is so short to inhibit themselves from experiencing life. risk takers are the ever hopefuls of this world. once we hope for the positive turn out, we are even more brave to gamble.

5. why a lot of people fear death?

the thought of death dreads a lot of us. the end of life seems to be a fate that most of us do not aspire to go through. but it is an unavoidable that we all ought to face.

i guess death per se’ is not what makes us afraid but it is the thought of dying without having done what we needed to do. it is the unpredictable nature of death that haunts us. truly, no one knows when is the exact time one dies. there is no one who can tell about it among us.

death knows no person. if it is your time, no matter how young or old you are, regardless of your enthusiasm to life or your will to survive, no matter what you do or whether you are at the prime of your career or life in general, if it is your time… it is indeed your time! thus one can’t help but to be anxious of when is that time for him to take that final bow in the stage of life.

on a religious light, some fear death because they are uncertain as to where they will spend eternity. will it be in heaven or in hell? they are not sure as to whether they have led an upright life or not.. they are not sure whether the good deeds they have done will enable them to reach heaven.. or are their faith enough to secure themselves a place in the said paradise. for sure, none of us is ever certain.

or some got too attached to life that the thought of it’s end is just so freaky. some can’t just imagine leaving behind wonderful times, valuable people and many great things.

6. why some love to blog?

blogging gives people the venue to speak out their thoughts virtually. there are ideas better written than said. and there are times when one feels the need to vent out something and though he has hoped to have someone to listen to him but all he has is a computer in front to keep him company.

or there is this rush of intellectual, comedic, emotional juices that one should express immediately and blogging is said to be the most convenient way. or others are open to share about their whereabouts hoping that some people can learn from it too.

in my case, i blog because this is so vital in keeping my sanity intact. ^^

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Unavoidable

“face the unavoidable, for that is but a temporary thing”, this is one striking thought i have learned from coelho’s fifth mountain. i cannot agree more to it. when tough times come, we have to brace ourselves and psych it up to face the pressing “inevitables” that cross our paths.


temporary is a relative word. when we hear that, we always have this notion that it means it won’t last. that leaves me with much curiosity now, won’t last for how long? until when?


sometimes i am easily growing impatient on things. i have to learn the art of patience, they say. but i think learning the art of patience is truly making me impatient. there are “unavoidables” that i want to face right away so that i will be able to spare myself from sleepless nights spent for worrying about it before it happens. surely to worry is much more difficult and grueling than to actually experience the thing that one worries about. as much as possible, when cards are distributed, i want to play it in an instant so that i’ll know whether i lost or won. and if i experienced the former, i’ll then have time to plan for another fallback. i do not just want to lose without doing anything then. losing too is normal so i have to move on and pick another pursuit to heed.


i have thought of this world as something routinary despite its complexities. i have thought that i know life well enough not to be thrilled or surprised by its never-changing aspects. and now, i am taken aback by what i am going through. it seems i am caught unprepared to the very battle that i have personally chosen in the first place. and now, this is sure one unavoidable that i have to face and i plead that i’d be given more time to gather enough faith, courage and wisdom; enough to make baby steps in facing it.


this unavoidable is temporary. and i surely want “temporary” to be defined once and for all so that i’ll have a rough idea on how long will i endure and stand this. i do not want to hear something like “it depends on you actually”, because there are just a lot of circumstances that we have wished to be over but it appears to be an unending adversity. though human will plays a big role on this, still external forces are way too powerful that even the huge hopes we have for ourselves and that of our future still falter.


that is unavoidable, no amount of escaping, denying and hiding can spare us from it. that is why it is unavoidable, it cannot be avoided.

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Self and the World

these days, i had ample time to reflect on things, the lot that i go through right now and that of others too

it dawned on me how lucky i am.

i am fortunate enough to spend quiet time to hear loud lessons i have to instill to my very being.

it is true, ms.min2x told me that this isn’t just a trip to search for a job but this is more of a trip to search within.

as days unfold, i get to know much of myself.

i have not liked the way i have spent my life for the past days here, i am harboring negative feelings for i have been living a life of a full-fledged bum.

a lot of my friends told me that i have to enjoy the “stillness” of my world for busy days might be on its way soon and that i’ll miss the kind of easy-going-no-pressure-life i am into now.

i just forced myself to believe on what they suggest.

but looking at the whole picture, there is truth to it.

i have to enjoy the time when i can acknowledge the blessings i have been bestowed.

i have to appreciate the time when i can be attentive to look and listen to what is really within me.

i have to grab the opportunity which allows the flush of insights and realizations to cross my thoughts and lay me a new angle on how to view life in a better way.

it does not follow that since i just see the four corners of the room everyday, i also think just like one who’s been stagnant in a box for the longest time and does know anything about the grandeur outside of it.

i can attest that it is not always the case; though i have started to realize that the more one wanders, the more she has experiences to share.

the world can actually be seen from the box

but the world is far better if you experience it yourself.

in the case of oneself; it’s more meaningful when one learns the art of introspection…

because the more one knows about what is within her, the more she can appreciate what the world offers.

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