I do not know where this frustration is rooting from?
Is it because I lost the watch that has a very strong sentimental value to me?
Or is it because of my knowledge on how it got lost when there was this chance to save it?
Come to think of it, that watch and I have been together for more than five years.
It was the sole thing I bought with my first salary, as per advised by my grandmother, "buy something of value that you can keep in this lifetime".
Honestly, it’s more than a watch to me.
It has been my source of comfort.
Others may take this as an exaggeration, but I feel queer without it wrapped on my wrist.
I remember, there were days I even return home just to get it after realizing that I forgot to wear it.
Since I bought it, there was never a day that passed that I did not use it.
The thought of not having it wrapped on my wrist today, and more likely in the rest of the days in this lifetime, is something that really pierces my heart.
I can sure have another one, but it is not the point.
Upon probing, I learned that when others saw it yesterday, they asked me whether I own it or not,
Honestly, I do not know for what reason that I cannot remember such calling of attention;
And if it’s true that they did, how can such fact fall into deaf ears?
How can I brush off a matter of importance to me?
Another one saw it and upon the assumption that it’s mine, he knocked on my door, but alas, I was not in the room.
So, he just placed it on top of the other stuff that were left, too.
I am now baffled whether he is really concerned of me getting it, or if he sincerely puts any value to that watch?
For if he is, I do not think it is sane for him to leave it just right there and then, at that.
Early today, I looked for it. I have meticulously checked all my bags for the nth time.
Yes, I thought that I just misplaced it inside the room because I cannot recall the one they shared about yesterday.
But, the whole mood changed when the man who saw it narrated the story.
Now, we have to attack the incident logically.
I raised a lot of questions to him: ‘what time did he see it?’, ‘where did he leave it?’, ‘what else were there with the watch?’, ‘who were the people at the venue when he left it?’, etc.
But honestly, all I wanted to ask him was – ‘why did you not forward it to the front desk, or to the lost and found?’
Worse is, they have consistently brought up the fact that I left it somewhere, and that I was not particular on my things, on what I deem important.
Again, I take full responsibility on this, but I do not have a good reception to a quick blaming, especially if it is delivered indifferently.
I did not even have the time to ‘grieve’ for such loss;
I was already subjected to a rash finger pointing.
If my defensive side will think aloud, it will express these points:
‘The matter here is not about me carelessly putting it there;
If no one will touch it, it will remain to be where it is.
As it is on the table near the water dispenser, I will surely make my way in finding it there.
Alright, someone saw it, at least he could have been concerned enough to find a way to return it to the owner, or make known that he found such.
I believe it is not only I who left something important, somewhere –out of will, of course!
But, yes, I am one of those unlucky ones who did not get back what was left or misplaced.
If the argument is because I left it there that's why it got lost, that’s very defensive of the finder to handle an act of negligence over something that he has found.’
I can burst like a bomb, but I chose not. However, I can’t help but to answer him, ‘to resolve all this pointing of fingers - all towards me; I should have not gotten that watch more than five years ago from my first salary, so that I did not have anything to leave carelessly somewhere.’
I can really be irrational when I am pissed.
My reflection: At times, it’s not our carelessness on leaving our things somewhere that can cause us much frustrations and emotional pierce, but it’s about other people’s dishonesty, their negligence in handling those when found, and the fact that some people do not give the slightest of importance to the things we value the most :”(
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