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When I learned that the 28 finalists for the 38th SSEAYP have been chosen, my initial response was that I am very excited. Yes, I look forward to meeting all of them!
As the news sink in, I have reckoned that it is not excitement that dominates my system, it was more of my fears. During the training last year, our group promised to be the best senior batch we could ever be to the next PYs, I hope we can live up to our pact :)
What are my fears?
I am afraid that I might share what are just significant to me and not what interest them nor what they ought to know.
I am afraid that I am "too" overwhelmed with our experiences, thereby unconsciously putting at the side what is at present, the current realities or circumstance of the next PYs.
I am afraid that I might spill everything, leaving nothing much for the PYs to discover things on their own.
I am afraid that I might pre-empt the next PYs much of the “SSEAYP experience”, defeating the fact that the next PYs will go through similar experience anyway, only that this time IT IS THEIR OWN SSEAYP JOURNEY.
I am afraid that I might exaggerate or “over” sensationalize my stories, thereby making expectations of the next batch to build up even greater, which could be out of consonance to reality.
I am afraid to convey my expectations and frustrations when I was a PY, as rules for them to strictly follow. And should they raise queries, I might misinterpret it as a question of authority.
I am afraid that I am doing all these because I only love the program, and that I really do not care so much on what the next batch feels, so long as they follow what we have set and told them.
In as much as I want to share my SSEAYP experiences to the next batch, I want to be mindful that I HAD my SSEAYP story, and yes, the next batch will have theirs.
Though we could not afford to have a trial and error approach on everything as some have standard procedures, it is my fervent hope that I may not deprive the new PYs of the beauty that comes out of surprises.
Thus, I pray that I may be sensitive enough to speak when needed, to hold back on things that shouldn't be told, to set aside what did not work, and to share what worked. Most importantly, to explain why I am doing all these – simply because I LOVE THE NEXT PYs AS PERSONS, THE KIND OF WAY I LOVE SSEAYP AS A PROGRAM :)
*i wrote this last June, and i hope i do not act as a "stage Ex-PY" to the new batch now. hehe*
Gambatte!
What are my fears?
I am afraid that I might share what are just significant to me and not what interest them nor what they ought to know.
I am afraid that I am "too" overwhelmed with our experiences, thereby unconsciously putting at the side what is at present, the current realities or circumstance of the next PYs.
I am afraid that I might spill everything, leaving nothing much for the PYs to discover things on their own.
I am afraid that I might pre-empt the next PYs much of the “SSEAYP experience”, defeating the fact that the next PYs will go through similar experience anyway, only that this time IT IS THEIR OWN SSEAYP JOURNEY.
I am afraid that I might exaggerate or “over” sensationalize my stories, thereby making expectations of the next batch to build up even greater, which could be out of consonance to reality.
I am afraid to convey my expectations and frustrations when I was a PY, as rules for them to strictly follow. And should they raise queries, I might misinterpret it as a question of authority.
I am afraid that I am doing all these because I only love the program, and that I really do not care so much on what the next batch feels, so long as they follow what we have set and told them.
In as much as I want to share my SSEAYP experiences to the next batch, I want to be mindful that I HAD my SSEAYP story, and yes, the next batch will have theirs.
Though we could not afford to have a trial and error approach on everything as some have standard procedures, it is my fervent hope that I may not deprive the new PYs of the beauty that comes out of surprises.
Thus, I pray that I may be sensitive enough to speak when needed, to hold back on things that shouldn't be told, to set aside what did not work, and to share what worked. Most importantly, to explain why I am doing all these – simply because I LOVE THE NEXT PYs AS PERSONS, THE KIND OF WAY I LOVE SSEAYP AS A PROGRAM :)
*i wrote this last June, and i hope i do not act as a "stage Ex-PY" to the new batch now. hehe*
Gambatte!
