Thursday, June 17, 2010

Some Notes while Waiting

few days from now, i'd know on which direction to heed, what decision to take.
i do not exactly know what i'm feeling right now.
i am hopeful and at the same time anxious, apprehensive.
what if i will not make it to SSEAYP?
will regrets flood me?
if i will not make it, i'd face it head on.
but should i really fail on this pursuit,
i'd rather wish it could have been told to me much sooner so that by now, i could have already moved on.

again, i feel the need to say this, WAITING AND NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO is much more difficult than being told that i FAILED. in the latter, i just have to again make a game plan to live out while in the former, everything is uncertain and it kills me to know that I DO NOT HAVE ANY CLUE, I DO NOT HAVE CONTROL ON THINGS; that, simply I DO NOT KNOW MUCH. (now this is a bruised ego issue) :))

was all the wait worth it?
I want to believe YES!
waiting for this SSEAYP result has truly taught me PATIENCE in its truest sense.

PURSUING A DREAM:
requires waiting, i learned PATIENCE.
requires letting go of other opportunities, i learned ACCEPTANCE.
requires decision making, i learned PRUDENCE.
requires eagerness and enthusiasm for better days ahead, i learned HOPE and OPTIMISM.
admitting that i am not in control of everything, i learned HUMILITY.
praying and entrusting my fate to my creator, i learned FAITH.

with all these, i can never be in a position capable of fostering a feeling of regret should i not make it.

to God be the glory!