Lessons from my father

happy father's day to all the fathers out there, especially to my brother - toto mark and of course papa bert :)

sharing with you the blog i wrote almost three years ago, culling it out and post it here as i give honor to my papa on the ocassion of Father's day! :)

Lessons from my father

October 1st, 2008 by maloueudela

Although I can say that this year has brought us so much bliss in the family,
still in the light of my personal experiences, I have regarded this year as such a crucial and crises-ridden one
There had been so much plans that were not realized under my timetable
Those were not easy for me to accept
I have gotten myself to some acute frustration attacks, mostly known and kept just within me
There were times that future seems so vague, so blurry

I even reached the point where I do not exactly know where to pick up myself and what is worse is, if ever I already have the courage to successfully put the broken pieces back, I sincerely do not know to which direction of life will I bring myself to.
I am dumbfounded with the turn of events
I cannot just stay at the side, try to console myself with the thought that,
“malou, everything happens for a reason.”

Or

“malou, worry not, jinx won’t last because everything will come to pass”
At some point, I must admit that those statements do have certain reassuring and lifting emotional impacts, however if it is a fact that everything will come to pass, its effects to my emotional senses too do last.
I cannot just sustain myself with those
Whether I like it or not, I have to bring myself up to face the certain predicament I am into
I am so baffled.
Not in my wildest dreams have I thought that I will be at this crossroad where no single option is ever clear to me.
I cannot then help but to seek those old days when I get to share with my father the simplest and mundane things I do .
I believe that he has always that wisdom that has the capacity to shed light to the seemingly dim place I am in.



After hearing me out, he has shared valuable points that have urged me to develop a different perspective.
He shared that it is but normal for me to go through tough times in reaching my aspirations for there is sure no short-cut way to reach a dream. I have to at least start from scratches and work my way wherever that dream is.

He then pointed out my issue of having this some sort of bruised ego for still asking money from him sometimes. His explanation towards it was: “do you think I would be glad if you are not asking any amount from me anymore? Do you think I will be happy knowing that you can handle it all, letting me feel that you are in total control of your life? Of course I am not at all happy. I am your father and it is always a pleasure on my part to be of help to you.”

When I heard that, I was truly overwhelmed.
My heart leaps for a matter of seconds but after which, I aired some of my points.
I told him that we are coming from different perspectives. He is a father who wants to show his being father through support in all aspects. A father who takes pride in giving his child financial aid to whatever expenses his child incurs.

And I am a daughter who wants to show my being responsible daughter. And I define “responsible daughter” as somebody who extends some amount to cover finances in the family, somebody who has gotten herself a degree and is already able to realize her dreams thereby making her family proud of her.

And more than that, I am somebody who has the ego not to depend much from others.
Yes, he has never put pressure on me. He has been there through and through. I can sense that he sees a bright future in me only if I know how to take things one step at a time. That is what he used to emphasize to me; in life we have to grasp things at a certain pace and at a specific point of time. Surely, we cannot have everything at the same time.

The next point he really wanted to convey to me was: “work not for compensation but for the happiness and fulfillment that the work can bring you.” I have to thank him for reminding what I have really longed to be doing. Yes, at the age where I am not super pressured by financial dues to be met unlike those with families already, I guess I am in the position to make decisions that will lead me to a work that will give me fulfillment over anything. To be plain honest, that statement I have mentioned sounds ironic to me.

Young? I should find work that earns a lot so that I can address my whims and avoid the possible occurrence of psychological term “fixation” over certain things or stage in my life. I might end up feeling bitter for having let the time passed without having fully enjoyed the great time I ought to spend. I do not have commitments on a romantic note yet, that is why I have to grab the chance to save a lot for my future family and what better way to it is through having a high-paying job regardless of the level of satisfaction I get out of it.

Whatever it is, whether when is the right time to be engaged in the job that gives fulfillment more than any monetary gain, I do not know. What I just believe to be true is, the more one grows in age, his priority changes. What holds true few years back can possibly be altered at present.

He also expressed to me that I just have to stay within my comfort zone for the time being. With that, I still have mixed emotions, I want to explore the world and frankly there is this part of me that doesn’t have the drive to do so. Papa told me that in time, I surely need to step outside my comfort zone but he believes that the best time is not yet now. I am in a way feeling bad about it for just when I thought I am old enough to independently face any hurdles of life, he made me realize that it is not completely true for he has even doubts as to whether I can do it at THIS time.

And of all the lessons I have learned from him, what holds most valuable is the faith he has with God. He keeps on reminding me to trust in God’s ways and always pray for guidance. I cling to what he believes which goes - 'God has better plans for us all. We all have to pray for it and wait for it to pour on us.'

In times like this, nothing can best give me peace other than my father’s faith in God. This may not hold true to others but at least it does with me. And I will always be thankful to my parents especially to my father for imparting such a wonderful gift to me, the gift of faith that I will eternally cherish.

Although faith alone cannot bring me to my personal dreams but when it’s coupled with actions, surely in few years time I will be seeing myself just where I exactly longed it to be.

And believe me when I say… I cannot just simply wait for it to come! (Now, patience here is my issue.)


Papa with the rest in family after a despedida party for me :)

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Lend a Hand

believe that the opportunity to help is always there.
we just have to be keen and sensitive to the needs of others.
we do not need much to help.
most often, we might feel hesistant to help because we have thoughts that we cannot still address all their problems anyway.
true, we extend a hand and there are still a number of pressing problems that need to be addressed.
but, should that fact be a defining point whether to help or not?
should we delimit ourselves to share whatever little we have?

sharing, loving and blessing other people with who we are and what we have know no place nor time;
it however knows the sincerity of the heart and purity of one's intention.
as i immerse myself in the community where i am assigned to do fieldwork, i have realized how blessed i am to be able to eat three times a day or even more.

i reckoned how damn lucky i am to sleep in a house with a comfortable, soft bed, with electricity, with sofa, with a table, with aplliances and much more.
yes, i am blessed to have much as i compare myself with the people i encounter in the area.
but, the challenge is not how quick i am to reflect on these, rather it is more on what i do with the realization that i am blessed.

there were days when my heart is crushed over and over again by the stories people share to me, especially the mothers. mothers crying for they cannot send their children to school because they do not have enough money to buy for uniforms and school supplies. i do not wonder anymore for they are also in short of money to afford three meals a day.

what do i do then? cry? no good.
when they talk, i just sit there at their side, look at their eyes and try hard to convey a message of hope;
assuring them that as long as we live, we have all the reasons to hope and to look forward to brighter days ahead.
i hope it is all that easy. whew!

i am writing this because you may just want to consider buying a notebook for some children who do not have at the moment.
i am writing this because you might have longed to help but you are still waiting for that chance or that best time to extend help. well, this could be now :)

one time, as i walk back to the main road, a little girl asked me, "do you have an extra watch?".
i thought for a moment then said, "i am not sure if it still works", then i asked her,"why are you asking?".
she then answered, "ah, it is my dream to have a watch. my father saw a watch at the road last time and brought it home. he promised to fix it, until now he has not fixed it."

Awww.. just when everyone is so preoccupied in realizing their big dreams, there is this little girl who considers having a watch as her greatest dream to date.

people in the community have a lot of great stories to share.
their everyday triumphs are unimaginable!
much can be said about them and about my encounters in there, but it is different if you experience it yourself.

for now, my plea is - if you are willing to help in anyway to the people, especially to the children in the community, let me know :)
malou

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Hope for Change

there is a bunch of reasons to hope.

last friday, i joined the yellow liberals, the die-hard supporters of noy-mar team and the rest of its LP candidates.
we gave out stickers, leaflets, ballers, fans and sample ballots, which by the way donations from generous supporters of the team.
it felt good that many affirmed my decision to vote for these candidates.
people from all walks of life expressed their desire to vote for NOY-MAR and the rest of LP candidates as they believe in the integrity of these people.
during the one-hour we were there on the streets, i was full of elation.
it did not cross my senses that i will become this involved in this aspect of politics.
never did i think that we will reach the point where we will shell out our own resources to help the candidates we are supporting for. di ba, it's always the candidates who run that covers the expenses?

at the end of that one-hour campaign we initiated, some supporters managed to give out simple snacks for us and then we gathered for a while and had some chat as most of the people i was with are not familiar to me. we asked ourselves why we support NOY-MAR, why we are there. the answers were convincing enough that we agreed to meet the next week to continue what we have started.

i want to share why am i voting for NOYNOY AQUINO:
(anyone is free to react on this but this is my opinion, these rationalizations are founded with my values)

i am for him because he denounces corruption.
he leads a simple lifestyle, simpler than what is supposed to be expected of him.
he's raised with well-founded values.
yes, a big point why am i voting for him goes to the fact that he is the son of NINOY and CORY. you see, Noy was honed by great parents. he has learned his values through the witnessing of his parents. for me, this counts much. it's never the fault of NOY to be born to famous and worth-emulating people. values take time or even a lifetime to be learned while skills, it will just take sometime.

i am more than a thinking filipino. say, i am JUST a thinking filipino, i could have chosen somebody else among the Presidential candidates.

among the 9 who are running, only erap has the experience how is it like to be the president of this country; the other 8 has only the idea. so say any of those 8 will be the president, it is sure their first time and that they are no masters to it. in this case, no amount of experiences can ensure one to be prolific and adept in performing the responsibilities of the chief executive. BUT not all of the 9 presidential candidates have a good upbringing, not all of them witness good values, not all of them are sincere and honest with the change they push. this is where i base my vote, not much of the skills as it can be learned in time but i give due importance to the values.

but let me highlight this,
NO PRESIDENT, NOT EVEN NOY can change this country to become its BEST
UNLESS EVERYONE WILL TAKE HIS PART AND DO HIS SHARE as a RESPONSIBLE CITIZEN OF THIS COUNTRY. the fate of this country lies in everyone's hands.

MORE THAN A CHANGE OF LEADERS, WE NEED A CHANGE OF HEARTS AS PEOPLE.

i am one hopeful soul.
i am savoring my being idealistic.
i will share my idealism with all gusto.
i am confident that we can effect the change we want to see, the change that begins in all of us.

God Bless Philippines,
God Bless Filipinos.

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lil sths :)

lil sths :)by Malou Rosquillo Eudela on Wednesday, March 16, 2011 at 9:53pm

I am crazy.
These days, I always ask myself, what if tomorrow will not come?
If that is the case, I guess I am one of the happiest persons who will die.

With what happened in the yesterdays - the news on wars and demonstrations, quakes, tsunamis; the destructions and losses it brought, it made me ponder... what really matters in life?

The yesterdays compelled me to give premium on what is only at the present. I do not want to work my ass out for a future I am even uncertain of experiencing.

What matters in life is the life we give to it!

laugh our hearts out.
 extend our hands to help people in need.
 go to the beach or walk in the fields or trek the mountains.
 chat with friends, spend time to catch up with them.
 smell the coffee or tea or milk before drinking it.
 eat every meal with gusto.
 listen and groove to the music.
 play an instrument.
 read a great book.
 face our fears.
 make someone happy.
 forgive and live.
 dance and sing without inhibitions.
 argue with sense.
 love deeply.
 acknowledge mistakes and insist only what's upright.
 give premium to relationships.
 enjoy the fruits of sound choices.
 risk without counting the cost.
 spend quality time with family.
 put faith into action.
 reflect and pray.
 a lot of simple acts or encounters that bring true bliss.

Can you remember doing those lately? 

In times when everyone else goes with the hustling-and-bustling-paced of life, to pause or to stop for a moment to take some sweet time, seems to be a mortal sin.

It is too ironic that in our pursuit of life, we sometimes forget how is it to truly live.

The advent of technology enables us to have our high-powered gadgets, but none of its kind is powerful enough to capture what one truly feels, what one truly thinks and desires.
No gadget has the capacity to ever capture the sincerity of one's intentions in doing good acts.

Have you ever noticed that most of the time we fail to savor the beauty of what's around because we are in a hurry with everything? We hastily take pictures without even stopping to thank God for the wonderful things He has created.

Have you ever stopped and look to the skies? When was the last time you appreciated the jewels it bears?

We have been so preoccupied by deadlines to beat, by appointments and meetings to attend to;
We have been so hooked on the various social networking sites; or
We have been just so mindful of our own concerns or only that of our small circles;
or I might be the one thinking of it, I hope I am wrong in thinking that way.
~~

If tomorrow never comes, I am contented of the life I have led.
I may not have the fanciest of things, I may be nothing compared to the world's richest,
but
I know, I did live a great life!
If today is our last day, I am sure ready!
Again, I know I am one of those who will die the happiest :)

For now, I want to believe that God permits me to live because there are a lot of things that I ought to do for Him.
Yes, it's time to really live.
May we always have the heart and the right disposition to see the beauty of everything that we encounter, good or bad may it be.

God Bless everyone! :)

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Love Spills

In my previous status messages, i have shared that i feel so in love these days. i do not exactly know why and i do not know to whom.. i am so inspired with love songs and love stories. i revel about love and how it has been so powerful to shape this world and humanity. pay that love forward. we do not need february 14 to remind us of this precious gift called - Love. this world is enveloped with love, let us exert conscious effort to let that shine through and triumph over war, anger, angst, fury, etc.

Yes, love..love..love..

to the guy i failed to say "I LOVE YOU"

they say it is better to regret over the things you have done than to regret on the things that you failed to do. yes, it is true. i know how much you mean to me, how much bliss you have brought into my life but crazy "me", i did not know or i did not have enough courage to put together those three words. i failed to convey what i really feel. and if only i would be given another chance to say it to you - with much elation, i will mutter my "I LOVE YOU".

to the guy whom i have loved deeply

it took me a long while to get over you. loving you is one of the best decisions i have ever made in this lifetime. you made me believe in love when i doubted. you taught me to love without question and condition. i have to say this all over again, i have fallen for you because of who you are and not for what you have. though our relationship has come to its end, you sure are still one memory i will gladly keep as long as i live :)

to the guy i wanted to get wed with

i have been praying to God for the gift of you in my life. He answers prayers and that is why he gave you to me. God has been so mindful of the desires of my heart when He created you. :) we will be the best couple, the best mom and dad to our children, the best persons we can be for others. we will bring out the strengths of each one and we will embrace our differences, turning it to be our point of growth. i will love you the best way i can :)

malou

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