lil sths :)

lil sths :)by Malou Rosquillo Eudela on Wednesday, March 16, 2011 at 9:53pm

I am crazy.
These days, I always ask myself, what if tomorrow will not come?
If that is the case, I guess I am one of the happiest persons who will die.

With what happened in the yesterdays - the news on wars and demonstrations, quakes, tsunamis; the destructions and losses it brought, it made me ponder... what really matters in life?

The yesterdays compelled me to give premium on what is only at the present. I do not want to work my ass out for a future I am even uncertain of experiencing.

What matters in life is the life we give to it!

laugh our hearts out.
 extend our hands to help people in need.
 go to the beach or walk in the fields or trek the mountains.
 chat with friends, spend time to catch up with them.
 smell the coffee or tea or milk before drinking it.
 eat every meal with gusto.
 listen and groove to the music.
 play an instrument.
 read a great book.
 face our fears.
 make someone happy.
 forgive and live.
 dance and sing without inhibitions.
 argue with sense.
 love deeply.
 acknowledge mistakes and insist only what's upright.
 give premium to relationships.
 enjoy the fruits of sound choices.
 risk without counting the cost.
 spend quality time with family.
 put faith into action.
 reflect and pray.
 a lot of simple acts or encounters that bring true bliss.

Can you remember doing those lately? 

In times when everyone else goes with the hustling-and-bustling-paced of life, to pause or to stop for a moment to take some sweet time, seems to be a mortal sin.

It is too ironic that in our pursuit of life, we sometimes forget how is it to truly live.

The advent of technology enables us to have our high-powered gadgets, but none of its kind is powerful enough to capture what one truly feels, what one truly thinks and desires.
No gadget has the capacity to ever capture the sincerity of one's intentions in doing good acts.

Have you ever noticed that most of the time we fail to savor the beauty of what's around because we are in a hurry with everything? We hastily take pictures without even stopping to thank God for the wonderful things He has created.

Have you ever stopped and look to the skies? When was the last time you appreciated the jewels it bears?

We have been so preoccupied by deadlines to beat, by appointments and meetings to attend to;
We have been so hooked on the various social networking sites; or
We have been just so mindful of our own concerns or only that of our small circles;
or I might be the one thinking of it, I hope I am wrong in thinking that way.
~~

If tomorrow never comes, I am contented of the life I have led.
I may not have the fanciest of things, I may be nothing compared to the world's richest,
but
I know, I did live a great life!
If today is our last day, I am sure ready!
Again, I know I am one of those who will die the happiest :)

For now, I want to believe that God permits me to live because there are a lot of things that I ought to do for Him.
Yes, it's time to really live.
May we always have the heart and the right disposition to see the beauty of everything that we encounter, good or bad may it be.

God Bless everyone! :)

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Love Spills

In my previous status messages, i have shared that i feel so in love these days. i do not exactly know why and i do not know to whom.. i am so inspired with love songs and love stories. i revel about love and how it has been so powerful to shape this world and humanity. pay that love forward. we do not need february 14 to remind us of this precious gift called - Love. this world is enveloped with love, let us exert conscious effort to let that shine through and triumph over war, anger, angst, fury, etc.

Yes, love..love..love..

to the guy i failed to say "I LOVE YOU"

they say it is better to regret over the things you have done than to regret on the things that you failed to do. yes, it is true. i know how much you mean to me, how much bliss you have brought into my life but crazy "me", i did not know or i did not have enough courage to put together those three words. i failed to convey what i really feel. and if only i would be given another chance to say it to you - with much elation, i will mutter my "I LOVE YOU".

to the guy whom i have loved deeply

it took me a long while to get over you. loving you is one of the best decisions i have ever made in this lifetime. you made me believe in love when i doubted. you taught me to love without question and condition. i have to say this all over again, i have fallen for you because of who you are and not for what you have. though our relationship has come to its end, you sure are still one memory i will gladly keep as long as i live :)

to the guy i wanted to get wed with

i have been praying to God for the gift of you in my life. He answers prayers and that is why he gave you to me. God has been so mindful of the desires of my heart when He created you. :) we will be the best couple, the best mom and dad to our children, the best persons we can be for others. we will bring out the strengths of each one and we will embrace our differences, turning it to be our point of growth. i will love you the best way i can :)

malou

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My Christmas All Year Round

during Christmas season, i always find time to look back for the year that has been and enumerate the many blessings that God has bestowed on me.
it always amazes me to realize how blessed i am.
and if those blessings be equated to some monetary value, i bet no banker could come up with the amount
or if one comes up with the amount, i will surely be the richest person alive! :)

this year has been my best so far; i have been given a lot of opportunities to grow.
i have journeyed far and near.
i went to places and i was also able to go within.
everything has been generously given by the Almighty.
what i find the most interesting was, God made partners with a lot of people to make me feel His love for me,they are in the form of human angels: family, friends and new found families and friends during my travels through SSEAYP.

i could recall that during bus rides to institutional visits, i find time to reflect
those reflections always make me cry
those tears are out of elation for the bliss that i have experienced in my life, especially for this year
i cannot help but to wonder, do i deserve all these?
but thinking that the God is so gracious, He makes things worthy for us to have; i then stop asking and just enjoy and savor whatever i have.

truly, i am blessed. i will not elaborate on that, those who know me will no doubt attest to such. :)
my Christmas prayer is, for God to bless those have shown to me the spirit of the Season all year round.
may He bless my family and friends who have been there; their love for me made all things possible.
their joy is to see me realize my dreams. they share my ups and downs as well.
indeed they are jewels worth keeping for a lifetime, and for eternity, if time permits:)

i am blessed with the 37th Ship for Southeast Asian Youth Program where i was able to meet more than 300 young people across Japan and ASEAN, youths who share the same aspiration with me and that is no less - create the best world we all deserve.

through the program, i was able to have new sets of wonderful families who inspired me to have one of my own.
these families considered me like their own. i never felt i was a stranger to them even on our first meeting.
i am truly blessed to have families in the countries we have visited, a family that is not defined by the time we have spent together but by the special bond we have developed.

i had also meaningful encounters with new friends, they were the ones who have shown warm hospitality to us when we were in their communities. their interactions and assistance meant a lot!

could you blame me if i would assert that it has been a Christmas to me all year round? ^^
surely, Christmas spirit has been manifested into my life way before the Christmas day.
i hope we all realize that we do not need Christmas season to show how we value and love each other.
if you only choose to be a blessing to others everyday, you can!
i can then imagine how beautiful this world will be.
may we never forget the essence of celebrating Christmas, upholding the value of Love through selfless giving just what the Father did:)
Merry Christmas to us all!
malou

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Homestay Lessons

i want to believe that the heart of SSEAYP is the homestay program in the countries of the ports of call.
nothing beats the direct immersion in a home in learning the culture of people and the society where they live in.

i am deeply overwhelmed by my homestay experiences. thus, i feel the need to share this with others.
oh by the way, i want to share that i keep a journal on this SSEAYP journey but i always fail to update it during homestays. well, it is not that i am too busy, that i do not have time to jot down what happened on those days and what my insights were, but is more on my fear - i was afraid not to give justice to the experiences and encounters i had for no amount of words could encompass what my heart truly feels. but then again, here i am, trying to put together words to at least give others a picture of my overwhelming experiences in the countries i have visited. :)

In Japan, where my first homestay was, i have learned hospitality. My foster mom has been a host to more than a hundred foreigners visiting Japan. She never ceases to offer her home to strangers.

In Malaysia, i have learned kindness and sincerity. The family that took us was not actually the original family assigned to us but they were just too kind to bring us back to their home together with the two male PYs (Participating Youths) they already have. They let us experience Malaysian culture in the best way they can and they never made us feel we are less favored. They treated us equally and they have loved us unconditionally.

In Thailand, i have learned love and the importance of time for the family. My family inspired me more to build my own. My foster parents always give top priority to their family even if they have their own preoccupations. My younger sister realizes how blessed she is and that she develops a very good disposition in life. At 10, i cannot believe that my sister Mint, thinks maturely; at some point, even matured than i do.haha

In Indonesia, I learned sisterhood, enthusiasm towards life and love for learning. My family together with my two other mothers went out their way to bring us around, we had a lot of exchanges on the car while waiting in the heavy traffic jam.those delays have been a blessing for us to have a lot of time to get to know each other more and learn from each other's differences and similarities.

In Singapore, I have learned patience and faith. My family might have a couple of preoccupations but they still manage to make things work for their children. In everything that they do, what they have in mind is what's good for their children, special concerns are being dealt with accordingly. By the way, this is the only country that i was able to visit a church and i am just so happy about it.

In Vietnam, I have learned friendship, adventure and importance of community. Truly, things are a lot better when done with a group. I appreciate it very much when people pull their resources together, go out their way to make things possible for us.

Looking back, I cannot deny that i am so blessed. Sometimes i am still crazy to ask whether i deserve such bliss or not. It leaves me on recalling how have i dealt with others, was i this good enough to deserve the outpour of blessings? But, yes, this is all from God, i should not be questioning in the first place.

I am a whole lot better person with this whole trip. Truly, no amount of priceless gifts can match the TIME consciously devoted by my foster families just to let me and my homestay sisters fit in on their very busy schedules.

May God unceasingly bless them all. Amen.

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37th SSEAYP Journey: Test of Faith and Character

When I started working to meet my quota, I was already claiming that I have it. I know that God will provide my needs. I do not have a job and I am really broke, but with my faith, I know I can pull things through. I thought it will just be a sort of walk-in-the-park-pursuit which all I have to do is to go to LGUs, explain about SSEAYP and highlight that I am one of the 28 youth ambassadors to the program and that’s it, I have the money I needed to raise. That is just my biased imagination, but it did not happen the way I thought it will be.

My first visit to LGUs was something that left me really frustrated. Not only because my request was not granted but there are sad realities that were laid right before my very eyes. I have seen how some government employees treat the people who go to them for help. And I readily recalled what a SSEAYP batchmate posted on his status message: “you can tell an awful lot of things to a politician by the way his employees treat you.” And as I wait for my turn, I pray, I pray for the employees who are inattentive to the people’s needs, that at least they will lend their ears to them, even just for once.

I harbored ill feelings to those whom I have asked help from in the first week of the 35k-hunt, especially to the LGUs. I felt I deserve to be supported and why is it very hard to convince them? At some point I have asked myself, “do I really have to beg for something that I deserve?”. If an LGU wills to help me, they surely can. They can look for a budget for this. I am not only representing my city rather the region and country as a whole.

I actually felt bad when upon handing the letter; the secretaries would read it and right there and then they will give a decline for an answer. I felt it was too premature to judge my representation. I have not even been given the chance to speak. How then can I explain fully what the cause I am into? Could they at least listen? Yes, not having given much chance to be listened to before they make their decisions was something I called “foul”. It is very unfair, I thought.

The above incidents triggered me to ask help from others. I began to approach private individuals and private companies for sponsorships. My friends took the effort to extend help to me. Things were not easy at first but with the support I have, I was very positive that I can raise the money in no time.

There were days that I shed tears not because of disappointments rather of the bliss I felt within. The outpour of love, help and support was so overwhelming that I sometimes questioned, “do I deserve this?”. I cannot imagine how people can be so generous!

I would account all the experiences I have to God, I have felt Him and I have seen Him in the people whom I have encountered on this pursuit; those people who made it possible to reach my dream. Looking back, I realized now the beauty of the things that happened and did not happen. That everything did happen for a beautiful reason, that I am bound to become a better person out of this process.

It was not easy for me to get that quota, when it could be possible to have it in a snap like my other batchmates, because I have to learn patience, perseverance, especially faith in God. Had I gotten the 35k easily from an LGU, I might have deprived myself of witnessing the sincere little acts of the people around. I might be too overwhelmed by the 35k from the LGUs that I will not be able to appreciate the little acts that people do for me. But thank God, I experienced the other way, I am much grateful with what I went through.

I have realized how it is important to be listened to. I recalled now those people I have encountered, they might have felt they were deprived to speak up and to be listened to, because they were not given the venue. I am inspired to listen more and talk less this time. I might not know, what others need is just to be listened to, just like what I have experienced.

It also dawned on me that though my cause is important, and I feel it is something huge, there are also pressing needs at hand, like mothers lobbying for help from LGUs for their children who are battling for their lives, elderly who asks for medical assistance, and so on, who, for me, need attention and fast action from the government as compared to me. This quota can wait.

I have been used to giving, that is why I find it hard to ask from others. And now I have learned the beauty of asking, admitting that I do not have much and that I need others to fill in the deficiencies I have.

God’s goodness, the people’s generosity, the outpour of love and support, the contagious goodness of people cannot be encompassed in an essay or reflection. I wanted to write something that will give others the idea on how it is and how it impact me, transforming me to become a better person, but I guess it is not meant to be felt through reading my story, it is meant for one to experience it to appreciate the beauty of it all.

I will leave Bacolod for SSYEAP with much bliss, so much that I can hardly contain. I did not know how much I am loved until I went through this recent process. God knows how much I am thankful of each person who made all this possible. Yes, reaching a dream is difficult, but if you have people who help you achieve it, it is like getting a guava fruit from its tree.

P.S. thank you Bago City, my hometown, for the support :) kudos to our officials.

thank you University of St. La Salle for rallying behind my back.

truly, God is seldom early but He is never late, and through these intitutions, much of my quota was realized :)
friends, i cannot thank you enough; i can only ask God to bless you unceasingly. thank you!

Thank you Lord, I know you truly love me.

malou :)

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