37th SSEAYP Journey: My baby steps

SSEAYP: Ship for Southeast Asian Youth Program

2007, I was an exchange student in South Korea, taking up Korean studies, when a roommate shared with me her dream of joining SSEAYP. I did not realize why she is that thrilled to share with us about her dream until I checked it in the web and there, when I learned about the program, it was a love-at-first-sight-encounter, yes; I readily fell in love with it.

2008, I came home to the Philippines bringing that dream to apply for the program but I did not act on it yet. I have taken some career moves and was working in getting my old life back; a lot had changed since I left the country and I have to iron things out to gain stability.

2009, I landed the kind of job I have always hoped to have, the one inclined to helping the children and the youth. At the same time, I enrolled in law school thinking that one of the best ways to help people in the community is to know their rights.

2010, I claimed that it will be a great year for me. I took a concrete step to realize my SSEAYP dream. I guess when you think the time is right, you just heed on. I went through the application process, the nitty-gritty. Waiting for the result was something I never want to go through again. Truly, waiting for something and not knowing to do because everything else will be dependent on the result, is just so difficult to bear. That time, I was attending classes; my University through our Dean has been so supportive of this pursuit to the point that they just allowed me to attend classes even without enrolling until I would know the result.

I was 100% percent ready to succeed and equally ready to fail. Yes, I prepared for both scenarios; best and worst. I have learned much from waiting; after all it is more than a wait. It was more like a very enriching experience that honed me to become a better person.

And I am very much relieved upon knowing that I made it. Indeed, the waiting proved to pay off. I cannot thank God for bringing me a step closer to that once seemingly distant dream. I am elated to know that it is finally within reach.

I and the other 27 youths representing all the regions of the country, and our National Leader, have finally met during the scheduled 10-day Pre-Departure Training (PDT) in Manila. I cannot contain the bliss I feel meeting such great people! Funny thing was, upon learning what everyone is doing in their respective communities or organizations, the things they have initiated and accomplished, I then questioned myself why I was there. I truly admire my kabagis and our Mommy Jing.

The PDT gave a clear idea on what to expect and what to do during the SSEAYP proper. Simulations and sharing of SSEAYP experiences, initiated by the PDT team together with the help of the PPY’s of Batch 2009, made it a lot easier for us to understand the beauty of the whole program.

On the PDT, I have refuted some of the things I have heard from others. Most of the people have this notion that SSEAYP is all about talent shows and tour. The program is too far to fall on those notions, for if it were, we need not go through the rigorous process of PDT and other steps there is to be a Philippine Participating Youth (PPY).

On a personal note, my experiences on PDT taught me to listen. For someone who talks a lot like me, listening is usually (though unconsciously) taken for granted. I have acknowledged that everyone in the group has something good to share and for me to hear that, I have to give way. I have learned the beauty of compromise that I have to sometimes bend to blend. Now more than ever, one has to act in consonance with the group, it is all about the team; the beauty of oneness shines the brightest.

My Pangkat Sulo (our Batch name), is all worth the sacrifices I have made and the opportunities I have let go. I can feel the warmth of love we all share. We draw inspiration from each other. That is why it was emotionally difficult for us to go back to our respective places after the PDT. On a lighter note, I went home with full of hope for a better Philippines because I have just met real people who strive to make a difference in their own concrete ways towards nation building. I feel blessed that I was affirmed, truly, we have all the reasons to look forward to a Philippines that we all deserve.

And the real challenge has just begun when we started to raise funds for our group. As I write now, I am still on the process of meeting my quota. I am very optimistic that I can raise the money needed but positivism isn’t enough at times. Going to LGUs and approaching private companies and individuals for the financial assistance is never easy. I sometimes want to cry out of frustration when upon reading my letter; decline is all in there for an answer. I even wonder why it is so difficult for the LGUs to give support for such a program like this. Questions started to flood me until I pacified myself by this thought: “Everything has to go through a process. You cannot get things in a snap.” This calls to mind the waiting-for-the-SSEAYP-result-scene; again the virtue of PATIENCE and PERSEVERANCE are impressed upon me.

I know it could have been made a lot easier for us BUT if it were, we will never see the beauty of this all. This is meant to bring out the best in us and I will not deprive myself of the learning I can get out of this.

The previous batches are our inspiration, they made it, no doubt we will too! This is just the start, quitting is never an option for us.

PANGKAT SULO, KEEP THE TORCH BURNING!

malou

08/28/10

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Hopeless Case?

we are all ambassadors of the country, whatever we show, how great or worst may it be, is reflected to our country.
not everyone in the world have visited and stayed in the Philippines to have a clear picture of who we are as a people, most often they make the Filipinos they encounter as their basis as to who we are and what kind country do we have.
i am quite bothered by how we act on the crises that we face and how we handle the misfortunes of our fellowmen.
we have grown so expressive of what we feel, that we just blurt our thought on that certain moment without realizing its impact to us all.
the technology should work for us and should not be the other way around.
in just a click away, everybody knows our lot.
i am not saying that we always put up a good image even to the point of concealing the reality. no, i am not for that.
what i am trying to say is, yes, we acknowledge what happened and we readily act on it. should we clamor, we have to be responsible to offer solutions for it.
what is happening now is that, the exchanges we have on the different social networking sites create a hopeless mood enveloped by mistrust, disappointment, disgust and even fury.
we are Filipinos, we are resilient and we sure can surpass this like any other major adversities we faced in the past.

it is my prayer that we choose to foster a feeling of hope rather than entertaining an array of negative feelings that creates no good to us as a nation.
should we just allow ourselves to be drowned by shame, humiliation and anger which was triggered by the incompetence of some authorities? we should not.
why should we allow negative feelings creep in our systems? you may have forgotten, we have some other thousand better options, let's choose it.

we are Filipinos for a reason. one thing is certain to me, we are not here to put this country into shame. please do your share.
you are looking forward to a BETTER PHILIPPINES huh? it's time to translate that hope into action by starting IN YOU the change you want to see. now, if all you know is to clamor, you DO NOT REALLY have the right to demand and expect something good.

if you are ashamed of our lot, of being a Filipino, of having to live here: then you can just leave the country anytime.

we do not need people who drag us rather than boost us.

yes, there was a crisis yesterday brought about by the desolate hostage-taker who was dealt by the incompetent police, to which the whole scene was covered by insensitive media, which surprisingly showed how the oblivious bystanders swarmed the area because there was no crowd contol. tskk..tsk..tsk.. your negative feelings are valid, but for now, the best move is to move forward. let's bring the learning we have from this and make this a better nation.
God bless the Philippines and the Filipinos!

Lou

08/24/10

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Surprisingly! the other side of me.

I am no magnet; when we are opposites, I simply repel!

Our differences can work for us or against us. We can use it to complement each other or it could be a strong point of irreconcilable conflict among us.

I do not play hypocrites, if I do not like you, I really don’t. =)
I am like a typhoon, I come out so strong. In reality, I am a cry-baby; it’s just that I do not cry for lame reasons.

Some people want to be like masters; wanting to tame everyone by the ways they think best.
You have your box? I do have mine too. Don’t you ever dare to put me inside your box, that’s futile pursuit, I’ll NEVER fit!

One thing is clear with me, I am not and I will never be in a good position to argue with anyone pertaining to his culture. How can I question someone’s way of life? That is his individuality and there is no rational basis to favor one’s drastic argument against such.

Do not expect everyone to think the way you do. We have different levels of intellectual wave lengths.
Do not rub in things that are already given or simply, do not state the obvious.

One of the best favors you could do to yourself is - know where to situate yourself. Back off when you are not needed. Do not push yourself into something that will make you appear like a “detractor”.

When you are not called, maybe you are not needed.
Your sacrifices are your own making; it is unfair to put on the burden of it to others’ shoulders.
Your networks do not define who you are.

If you want to insult someone and you plan to keep it from the person, be sure your actions do not flaunt it. Your evil laugh spells it all.

My admiration goes to the people who have already achieved and accomplished so much but they remain humble; humility here is not keeping what they have achieved rather they share it with others, without any air of arrogance.

Is it all about your experiences? Not because you experienced something “big”, you now have all the right to make others feel small. Your experiences can help others have an idea on what to expect, but it is not a determining factor to shape the future happenings. tsk..tsk..tsk..

This is absurd and impossible, but say, we went through THE SAME process. Still, our experiences will never be the same! The people we are with, the way we see the process, and the way it impact us, are just a few that will make it different.

Why do it the hard, harsh way when there is a better, peaceful one?

Are you really concerned or you just want to make even?

Your approach on things gives us the idea of the kind of person you are.

What I like being “me” is that - at the end of the day, I have people who truly accept me for who I am. To my surprise, there are many of them, much more than the number I thought could put up with me. I am relieved and overwhelmed at the same time.

I hate dramas; otherwise, I took acting as a job.

I would rather be with a non-sense than with an inhuman.

I can forgive kids when they are rude and subjective, but never the adults.

When leaders come together, do you expect silence?
(unless of course if they are leaders in silence..hehe)

No amount of good tone can cover rudeness.

Do not expect others to embrace your preferences. Should they shun your ideas, never feel bad, you are not in the position to do so.

Studying in Antarctica or Timbuktu does not make you so great as a person. Yeah, keeping silent about it is the best thing you could do. ^__^ but hey, share your learning with others too. Could you please do it in a nice way?

Being civil is the last best option to do when dealing with the one you just want to swallow alive. :)

Compromise is the best option left at times.

If you have insomnia or you want to believe that you have one, please be kind to others; do not deprive them of their sleep.

Beware when I give you balloons! That only means - you got too much air in your head. You need to release all the air you have before you burst due to your own making.

I empty my head, you empty yours too.

What is good in crossing paths with the good and bad ones? You get a glimpse of who you will most likely become should you choose anyone of their sorts. I know now, I definitely do not want to be a witch like the one I have just met. ^____^

I only remember two kinds of people, the best and the worst.

I have emptied my cup again.
It’s already dawn and I cannot sleep, thus, these were all written. Shocks, these are full of angst. Hay. Haha.

August 6

p.s. i was just thinking of 3 people when i wrote this.
yes, may pinanggagalingan..hehe

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Goodbye Sweet 23 and Welcome Sweeter 24

time flies so fast.
life's pretty dynamic.
some things change in a snap.
before i know it, i am already 24.
what's with the age anyway?
well to some, it means a lot.
i remembered that i have been wanting to apply as a volunteer in an international volunteer organization but i was not able to make it because i was too young then.
i needed to be at least 24 to qualify.
in an hour or two, i will turn that age, but i have changed plans already.
the desire to help is always there. it is one passion that remains in me come what may.

i am pretty confident that being 24 will open a lot of venues for personal and career growth.
i am not too young nor too old.
i am just at the right age to explore more and learn more.

God has been so generous for the past 23 years of my life.
i cannot thank Him enough for everything He has bestowed me.
i am so blessed that i cannot contain it anymore within, i have to give this away.
may i be a blessing to others.

to my friends and family,
thank you for believing when i doubted.
thank you for the encouragements when i was hopeless.
thank you for seeing the good when i was too engrossed with the bad.
thank you for reaching out when i was running away.
thank you for being the light when i was in darkness.
thank you for the understanding when i was closed-minded and stubborn.
thank you for putting up with me. (i already have an idea how hard it is.)haha
thank you for appreciating my existence.

may God unceasingly bless you all.
may He keep you safe at all times and may He give you more patience to last a lifetime of friendship with me.

malou^^

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Chill

some realizations i had recently:
-i can only become a better person if i allow my learning to be put into application.

-some people stereotype "talkers" as "non-thinkers", i thought it is so unfair for someone who talks a lot, like me, but is also thinking hard at the same time.

-some people would always doubt the goodness you show. hmmm, they might not be used to it, i bet. :)

-some people are just so subjective. they want their way on things even if it means putting others down by taking matters personally. that's mean.

-some are too overwhelmed with their past that they can hardly move on and move forward. they think that they are the only ones who know everything; when people raise queries, it's as if their authority is being questioned. tsk..tsk..tsk..

-we cannot count against others the very qualities that make them distinct from the rest. we cannot just put others in our predefined boxes.we cannot tag a person to be "bad" simply because they do not exhibit the attitude or character that we want to see from them.

-it is not the fault of the assertive if those quiet ones were not able to air out their points. i believe that when we want to drive a point, by all means, we will convey it to the group concerned.

-the transformation of a person cannot be accounted to the efforts of others; if one changed, it's not because of anyone else, but solely because of that person concerned, he made a conscious effort to change for the better.

-it's good to note that due process does not only exist in courts, for if it had been strictly observed otherwise, i might not be where i am now. i was judged unfairly and thank God, there are people who value explanations. i am very happy that there are still a lot of open-minded people who hear first before jumping into conclusion.

-demanding something from others which is beyond their capacity to produce such, and trying to implement the "rules" rigidly without rational basis, are the most absurd encounters i ever had so far. that is so irrational and unreasonable for someone to come up with rules out of whims. it's more absurd for one who imposes the rule to expect that no one would question it. stress! ^^

-we are all different. we need to compromise to blend. we cannot at all times reason out that because we are naturally like this or that, then people will have to understand us. there would come a time when we let go of what we have been used to, in order for us to embrace the better or even the best ones.

-it is futile to make an issue out of a resolved case.

-sometimes, the best option is to just shut up or just stay at the side and say nothing, just observe.

-there will always be a nice way to impose discipline on the subjects. there is what they call - discipline without punishment. discipline is NEVER synonymous to harshness.

-what matters to me above anything else is, the relationship i have with people whom i care much. i have swallowed my pride and i have let go of my way on things just to accommodate what's best for those i care for.

-i choose my battles well. i fight until the very end, but i have learned to let go of some of it, not because i am afraid but i am just courageous enough to accept that it's not something worthy to be entertained in the first place.

-simulations are always efficient ways to learn and experience things that are to be expected.

-people who are being questioned have always thought that the ones raising queries are rude. i'd better zip my mouth then.hehe

-we approach and perceive things differently. thus, there is no way that our experiences would be the same to that of others. it is alright to suggest but NEVER impose your ideas. putting others in your predefined boxes could prove to be the worst undermining you could ever do to them.

-people are good at faking. it's either they fake good or fake bad. we can never conclude one's character unless we get to experience living or at least spend much time with the person.

-it's not easy to redeem your bad reputation as "antagonist" in the story by just explaining, "hey, it's just part of the script". one is not that dumb to just digest anything that you say. your actions mirror who you really are as a person. ^__^

-some people are just so unlovable. loving them and accepting them for who they are, require tons of effort. well, if it is too hard, don't push it.



-respect begets respect. how then can you expect respect to be given to you if you have failed to show it to others you are dealing with?

-one major flaw of facilitators is to impose their ideas when all they need to do is to- listen to the ideas shared, take note of it, paraphrase it and raise clarifications when necessary.

-we can be too emotional at times that it defeats the process we ought to observe.

-everyone learns from each other. there are things that we know that others don't, and otherwise.

-emotional investment proves to be the strongest foundation in any relationship. sharing yourself through your story gives others a better understanding of who you are and why you are acting the way you do.

-one's age is never a measure of one's maturity. some might have experienced much and yet, have not truly learned and matured. :))

-a mother's love supersedes any love there is; it's genuine, always yields to what's best for her children.

-despite the differences people have, unity is still attainable.

-everyone has something good to share.

-people complement each other. the differences in people's personalities are meant to make the team more cohesive. can you just imagine if everyone's personality is the same? there might be no need of relating to each other. the differences we have are like gaps which are being bridged by our relationship with each other. we extend ourselves to meet the rest halfway.

-as much as possible, avoid extremes. don't talk much nor be silent.

-if you can do a task, no matter how difficult it may be to you, by all means do it. your excuses may be taken so hard against you. eyes are on you, comments and criticisms are handy, ready to be given away any time you'll make a flaw.

-it is never a fault to assert for your right. being submissive here is a no-no!

more than the responsibility we have for others, we have the responsibility to our very selves. we should not let others bypass our rights. we should not allow anyone, no matter how powerful that person may be, to step on our rights.

-some are blinded by their self-serving ideals and standards.

-bragging rights is really worth bragging? hmmmm. i wonder.hehe

-no one is to be blamed, except yourself, by the actions you consciously made.

-i am not the only one who believes that this country will turn into 1st world soon. there is a bunch of young people who are going out their way to realize such dream. yehey! :))

-youthfulness is a gift that everyone has to savor. we should not let others discourage us. we remain idealistic and hopeful, may we translate our aspirations to concrete actions. AMEN.

-i submit, only to those worthy of my submission. training is not meant to make the participants act like robots, it has always this goal to bring out the best from everyone.

p.s. with the recent training i had, i felt i was transformed in so many ways. i love the group so much that i am willing to address my personal issues. i have moved on from it and is willing to put into application my learning, but i just feel the need to jot down my realizations so as to keep my sanity. haha (p.s. this is my concrete way of emptying my cup)^____^

till here,
more to come undoubtedly.
lovelove,
malou

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