I Finally Got Over You

i feel like crying now because i cannot contain the joy i feel inside!

whew!! i never thought that moving on can this be excruciating and fulfilling at the same time.

i am abounded with bliss, now that i have eventually accepted the fact that there are just some things that are not meant to be..

we risk. we love. we feel happy. we are content.

we are hurt. we cry. we move on.

and after quite sometime, we risk again to love..

basically that is what loving is; it's a cycle.

not all the people we love reflect what we feel for them,

there are instances that no matter how we pray for the person to be a part of our life, they cannot just be so.

for the paths we take are far way different or worse, completely opposite.

nevertheless, the beauty of it is- we loved and we hoped..

if it is not the person we long for to be with, surely there is someone better meant for us.

living and loving do not end when a sad lot happens, rather it continues its pursuit..maybe next time it'll be way better than we expect.



i have loved and i've grown happy with it but i have realized that he is not the one for me. he just dropped by my life to teach me salient points in the aspect of love.

i never thought that life is a lot better being friends with him.

now, i can just be me. no pretension or no disguise.

to the guy i have liked and loved recently, thank you for teaching me lessons which i can benefit from for life.

you taught me that there are just some things that are not meant to be realized.

you taught me to accept things and hope for the best next time around.

you taught me to appreciate.

you taught me to admit to myself that i am capable of loving a person even if he does not entirely fit with the standards i set.



will i forget you?

surely not! :)

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Cultural Differences?

the world has 194 countries.

from which spring various countries, nations, people,cultures.

the people of the world were too sensitive and intelligent enough to come up with a universal language and basic rights and laws to combat the chaos that the disparities among us will possibly bring.

i am glad they thought of that.

but i'll be more glad if people from all the countries in the world will appreciate and apply the importance of which.

in the language aspect, i am not saying that they really have to learn english even if it is against there will. i know there are a lot of people who are not that open to learn the universal language because they have their bias to their language. and one thing more, some do not feel the need learn such.

good thing, in the philippines; as early as kindergarten days, we were taught how to speak the universal language. that worked really on my advantage.

so i'll let the issue of learning english pass. people do have their right to decline on such if they do not feel like doing it.



ok, the meat of the matter is about how we should view the basic rights that govern us all.

i have been in korea for almost 6 months now and i have many encounters which always lead me to raise the question: "cultural differences?"

abroad, some things will never fall into the same manner you experienced it wayback in your country

things from one place to another differs, including the people's belief and ideals.

we may be different on how we get things done, how we address issues, how we tackle tasks and how we respond to complaints..

but

one thing holds true~~~once we talk about human rights, it is the same set of rights known anywhere.

you do not need a book,a computer or a sage to check whether you stepped into others' rights.

you can definitely feel it, oh well that is if you are not that too naive. or evenso you are naive, there will always be a way that the basic rights will get into your nerves. each one is aware of the basic rights. it is our personal yearning that others will give due respect to it.

what i want to air out is.. this phrase "cultural differences" cannot always answer to the confusions brought by diversity, it cannot be used to clean one's hands from overlooking others' rights.

it's a lame excuse on an issue..especially if the issue is, as what i have said- about bypassing the rights of other people of the other culture.

whatta heck!!! why always say that to us???!!!???!!!

basic rights wherever you go are the same despite of the race you belong or what kind language you speak.

it is just so disappointing to note that some people are taking too much advantage of that phrase.

going to another country is surely no joke.

you will adjust to their culture and the kind of people there are.

it is more disapponting or shall i say distressing when you experience the agony of trying to figure out their track of mind and their actions. and in return, they do not give damn effort to understand yours..

you get burned out trying to understand the unfathomable.

you'll realize later on that~~ you are then too naive to give home in understanding them because you have already exhausted all the possible means and efforts that needed to be done.

sometimes, i wanted to think that it is better to be ignorant on what is right from what is wrong..

sometimes, it pays to be dumb about your rights so that you will not get hurt or pissed off when those were bypassed.

but what can i do, i am knowledgeable about my rights?!?!

i cannot help but to assert and fight for it eventhough i am put into the hotseat.

my consolation is~~~at least after all this thorny journey, i'll reach the end happy or joyful shall i say, for i just did not let others stepped on my rights without even saying a thing to them.

i already started to fight for my rights. come what may, wherever this will lead me, i'll have peace of mind.

i will never ever regret the day i decided to assert for what i believe is upright.

"our anger and frustrations come in various packages. inasmuch as i want to keep mine, i just simply cannot. once provoked, you'll realize how foul the package i got"

"you'll dread the day you annoyed me"

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26 Things I Hate About Myself

these are the things or i'd better say attitudes that i do not like about myself.

1. i am a procrastinator. if there are chances to delay things, i usually resort to it. i hate pali-pali system (koreans way of doing things). as much as possible i do not want to rush things. i am taking my sweet time on what i am up to.

2. i am talkative, noisy, loud or whatever and however you make call it. once i talk there is no stopping.. i always take the floor from others.. it's as if i never had the chance to speak or talk before.. which actually isn't true.. since i was young~~~i have been so bubbly or shall i say.. terribly loud!!

3. i am scatter-brained. i cannot simply organize my thoughts. it gets to annoying sometimes to listen to me when you do not know what i am trying to point out.. i mean, what's the point malou?

4.i am too idealistic. i live with the ideal. most of the time, it drives me frustrated. i know, but i cannot simply compromise what i believe should be done.

5. i am closed-minded at times. once i believe that what i am asserting is right, i don't have time to listen to what others are saying.

6. i fret too much over nothing. i am taking things seriously when i should not be in the first place.

7. i do not know how to listen.. maybe simply because i talk much.

8. i am terribly mean when provoked. first few offenses on me, i'll understand...the next time around, expect the worst from me.

9. i usually give the benefit of the doubt to others, thereby giving most of the people a chance to cheat on me.

10. i always think that all the people are innately good, well infact, some are really not! i continue to bank on this and i continue to get disappointed on the realities that are unfolding everyday.

11. i am assuming. i get to give color to what is supposed to be a black and white act. you know it!!needless to explain.

12. i have self-inflicted pressures. i don't have to do this or that actually, but i just program in my mind that i have to do it. in psychology--we call it irtrational thoughts. :)

13. i am a cry baby. i cry hard!

14. i am also naive when i am already fed up and stressed with so many things.. i care not anymore on what others are feeling or showing.

15. i am inferior. i feel that i'll never be good enough compared to others.

16. i am impulsive buyer, an extravagant. when i feel spending, shocks! i just simply spend without considering what lies ahead on rainy days.

17. i am not organize when it come to my things. what a messy place i got.

18. i have so many unreasonalbe guilt feelings. when i see people who are on the streets or those people who are in need on tv, i feel guilty. it's as if i have the responsibility on them. oh well, we have responsibilities to others but not the responsibility to solve their problems or lot in life.

19. i am sleepyhead. i'd rather sleep than do productive things.

20. when i read the book, i am compelled to look at the last few pages so that i'd know the ending. in short, i have also issue about patience.

21. i am pretentious. even if you hurt me, even if i do not like you..i'll act as if we are really great friends!!! oh well, shall i say-i am just being civil?

22. i am a liar. even if i am not ok, i'd say i am! sometimes, i am not transparent of what i really feel within. just not to bother other people (as if they care) :) bitter?

23. i am too harsh and hard on myself. even me cannot just get it.

24. i easily forget other people's names.whew!! i really feel embarrassedon occassions when people would say hi to me and i do not even know their names.

25. i exaggerate and sensationalize things. simple things are packaged in more colorful way.

26. i am not appreciative of the kind of person i am. just look what have i done now.. coming up with a blog that speaks my bad side than keeping note of what's good in me. now with a long list of "attitudes i don't like about myself", i am asking myself now..is there good left about me? :)

God bless me and everybody!!

worry not, i am resolved to the fact that everyone has something good to contribute in this world, regardless of how small or big it may be..

i am one of that "everyone"..ergo, i have something good to offer to this world.

afterall, i am a good girl. i was brought up to be that way. and a number can attest to that..ok, that's my point :)

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Kids

it's been almost a month now that i have been exposed in-depth with children who are studying..

before, i just deal with kids for quite a short time..most of which, i see them really enjoying, so carefree, energetic and the like..

however, this experience i have lately, exposed me to their other side..other side which is not that so foreign idea to me..i used to encounter these behaviors in books and some in real passing encounters with them..

when i get to see kids, it seems that i am giggling inside because there are just something distict in them that drives me to be like that!!! actually i cannot fathom why..hehehe

so here it goes, my experience now is like changing a bit my fondness in them..

these days, there are times when i just want to yell at them so that they will pay attention with me..

i just want but i really don't..

ok, sometimes my voice gets to be a liitle bit louder but definitely i do not yell.. am i defensive?

i know that their attention span towards things is so limited, so short!

and inasmuch as i want to understand it, i just cannot always think about it as my reason not to impress on them things that they ought to know.. in my case, the lessons we have this summer vacation..(yeah, it is summer vacation here now)

i am their teacher and i ought to teach them.. i am pressured by the expectations of those who hired me..

but come to think of it~~~ what if they are not interested? will i force them to learn? i do not believe in the learning founded by force.. learning is an option and it is always better if it is done out of one's freewill..

at the back of my mind, when kids want to play--let them be.

do not steal their childhood from them.. they are too young to be pressured but what society expects to be good.. they really don't have to be brilliant, they just need to learn how to use their common sense..the most important thing is-they should learn how to be practical thinkers..you see, society became chaotic because of too many brilliant and impractical people..

gee!!! kids, kids, kids..

they are mild yet stubborn,

they are enthusiastic yet easily gets bored

they are innocent yet crazy

they are a bunch of ironic pretty worth-noticing gifts from heaven!:)

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Pot of Gold In Abroad

hmmmmmmm..

it was only then when i am already here abroad that i realized the true lot of most of the OFW's

life abroad is never easy than what others have thought it to be

one thing i dislike about us wayback home is the attitude of being demanding and demanding and demanding!

that is what we are!!!

that is how we act!!!

it's as if that when an immediate family member or a relative of ours had gone abroad, they're turned into an instant genies from where we unceasingly ask our flooding favors..like: to buy us with this or to send us with that or to deposit money of this much!!!

i feel for those OFW's whose families in the philippines do no have anything to do but to extravagantly spend what they are earning here.. salary here is surely relatively higher than what's earned in the country but it does not mean that the nature of work here is easier!!

to whom more is given more is expected and even worse is, more risks are involved..i often hear from announcements after mass, stories of fellow filipino's accidents.. some lost their fingers because of the machine they operate/handle in the factory and some even got insane..

just imagine life being far from family? the opportunity cost seemed to be alluring but it is not always the case..

i have also known some others who intentionally miss one of their meals in a day just to save for their family back home..some even say that their family still clamor with the amount they send in the philippines! again can you imagine that?!!!???



i did not go out abroad to work unlike others,

i am here to study..

these things i have shared may not be the exact experiences i have here but i bet i can relate to some of which..

i am deeply thankful for the family i have..

so far they are not demanding (oh well, they knew i'll study here) :)

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i can relate to the stuggles of homesickness and being away from the comforts of our home and of that so-called family within reach..

i am also skipping some meals..because i have to save for the possible rainy days..my family is not that easy to bother, or maybe it is just me who is thinking that way.. well, i do not want to bother them, that is the very reason why everytime i am asked by my parents "are you ok?", i've got a consistent answer.."yes, i am ok", even the fact is.. i am not.:'(

and i am so damn tired of those people who think that we are leading a great life because we are basically in abroad!!! who said so? ok, i cannot and i am not in the position to generalize but most likely it is not true!!

that is maybe one notion or stereotyoe we have to change..

life abroad is not that rewarding in the truest sense of the word..you are away with your family, and it is so hard to long for them almost everyday..again, it depends on one's values and priorities..

actually the place does not matter but your perspective and choices do!! so wherever you are in the philippines, you can make things happen.. money, if that is what you are after for is not only abroad..actually we have it there..

and finally my point is, especially to those people who are exhausting much (materially/financially) from those loved ones who are abroad..may you guys learn how to tone down with your demands!!! give them a break even for once..they are also humans like you who feel tired and who deserve to be happy..

kudos ofw's!!! :)

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